Post # 1
My FMIL has been bugging me about planning a shower since the moment we got engaged. In the 2+ years that we’ve been dating, I have not met most of my fiance’s family. We live in the same area as his family, but due to some drama, we haven’t met. I am really uncomfortable with the idea of her throwing a shower full of strangers.
My two aunts wanted to throw a shower for me (I am their only neice and I think they have been waiting for this moment for 24 years hahaha). I told my FMIL that I’d prefer to have a joint shower with both families, but she keeps bringing up having separate ones.
I asked my mom for help with the situation so she told my FMIL that they will plan it together and my family will cover their half of the costs and everything, so it’s really no extra burden whatsoever to combine them. Apparently my FMIL doesn’t like that idea.
I feel selfish being so picky, but I’m very shy and don’t like the idea of being at a shower full of people who have CHOSEN not to get to know me. I also really liked the idea of our families getting to know each other before the wedding.
Am I being unreasonable? Should I just let her throw a separate shower? Help!!
Post # 3
@sarahmichelle: You’re not being selfish. I would be extremely uncomfortable with the idea, just like you. Just put your foot down, and if your FI can talk to his mother it may help as well. She might think you are being “polite” by not wanting too much fuss. But maybe he can tell her that it will make you uncomfortable and maybe convince her it’s a good time to get everyone together or something.
Post # 4
I felt the same way you did! I really didn’t know most of my husbands family and felt weird having two showers. So I had one, really large shower. My MIL wasnt fond if it at all because she wanted to invite every single female invited to the wedding. Just be firm, out your foot down and try to be nice about it. MIL’s can be difficult but this is your wedding and hopefully your mom can talk with her some more to get her to agree. Good luck!
Post # 5
Thanks guys! I tried the whole “putting my foot down” thing and it didn’t work. I was getting paranoid that I am making too big of a deal out of it or becoming a bridezilla. I’ll see if my FI can get the point across to her.
She has been nuts about everything from the jump – right in the beginning she kept asking me if my mom picked out her dress yet, because she wanted to buy her own. Um…does it really matter what the MOG wears? haha