(Closed) I really hurt FI

posted 7 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

well what happened?

Post # 4
Member
470 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: July 2011

Sorry to hear that.  It’s good that you were able to tell him your feelings, though.  That’s a hard thing to dump on someone and I think it’s great that you were able to realize that you might not be ready to get married & talk to him about it. 

Post # 5
Member
1667 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: May 2011

that sucks. I hope you guys are able to talk it out. It’s good that you are being honest with him though

Post # 6
Member
2114 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

yes, what happened?

Post # 7
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

Is this from the post about not wanting to get married if your grandparents pass?  I’m very sorry about how both of you must be feeling right now.

Post # 9
Member
726 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

I can understand being terribly upset about not having a close family member there but your marrige is between you an your husband, of course he will be upset and I wouldnt understand either. Fiances father passed away and although It is going to be terrible to not have him there I dont think for a second FI didnt want to marry me because of it.

I mean I guess you have to talk to him about it, but in any case… I wouldnt understand what that ment about a marrige.

I feel awful for you but I dont agree or understand the correlation.

Post # 10
Member
6998 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2011

@Mrs.Vowrenewal: I am so sorry that you are going through this – losing a loved one is never ever easy but im a little confused as to why that would make you not want to get married? One of the best things about marriage is having someone to lean on in hard times like this – someone to look forward to growing old with like your grandpa and grandma did – Celebrate his life, spend as much time as you can with him in the meantime but please do not shut out FI, he should be the person you are turning to right now – even if its just so he can hold you. He obviously loves you 🙂 chin up.

Post # 11
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs.Vowrenewal:

Oh no! You were already feeling so badly about the news, how did he find out on FB?

Post # 13
Member
6824 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Mrs.Vowrenewal: I do feel really bad you are going through this however, I think it is wrong you are saying you couldn’t/wouldn’t marry your FI if your grandfather passes. 

Believe me I never thought I would get married with out either set of grandparents at my wedding and its been 6 years now since I lost the last one. I miss them very much and think of them often.  I wish they could have been there to see me get married but they were not physically there but mentally and emotionally they were with me all the way. 

I think you need to sit down and talk to your FI about all this.  Your wedding should not be based on who and who is not going to be there. Either way your grandfather would want you to be happy and marry the man you love even if he can’t be there physically

Post # 14
Member
1909 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2011

@Mrs.Vowrenewal:

OMG, that’s so crazy! How are you holdin up? Is FI talking to you? I’m feeling for you, damage control is so hard, especially when you are already emotionally drained. * HUGS *

Post # 14
Member
843 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: June 2011

@Sassygrn:Completely agree with this.

I was super close to my grandmother and my FI and I had been together 3 years when she passed.  I am extremely sad that she will not be there to celebrate my day.  But I’m putting together some flowers in memory of her and I know she will be watching from heaven.

Her not being there would not affect how I felt about marrying FI.  I can understand the not wanting to celebrate, especially if he passes right around the time of the wedding, but I don’t think that was made clear to your FI.  Like you said, he found out on Facebook.  I’m sure there was no context.  All he heard was that you didn’t want to marry him.

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