I really need help, I am not okay!

posted 3 years ago in Wellness
Post # 3
Member
1582 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@anonliar:  Definitely see a counselor if it’s affecting you that much. I’m of the opinion that everybody tells little white lies now and again, but if it’s making you ill you should definitely try to get some insight into it, even if it just helps you understand why you do what you do.

Post # 4
Member
3016 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2014 - Prague

A therapist doesn’t “fix” you. They should help you understand why you do what you do, and hopefully find ways to change the behavior.

I would certainly look into it. You’re making yourself physically ill over it, after all. Talk to your doctor, too.

Post # 6
Member
5460 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

I think therapy really can help you.  Lies are your way of handling some kind of stress or situation.  At least, that’s how it started I’m sure.  Now, it’s so second nature to you that you can’t help it.

 

I had some anger issues after my deployment overseas.  I threw things.  I lost my temper a few times and if I happened to have something in my hand I would chuck it.  It’s immature, irrational, and unacceptable behavior.  But, by releasing the object I was able to release a little anger.

 

I went to therapy as part of my PTSD counselling, and I did a lot of work on anger management.  All I needed was more self-awareness and some tools to help me better handle those situations.

 

I learned to identify when I was starting to bubble up, and I had more tools available to use so I wouldn’t lash out.  I was able to catch myself before I lost my temper, and I learned how to deal with my demons.

 

I think you need to learn some tools to help you identify what is triggering you to lie, and you need to learn tools to use in place of the lies.

 

ETA- I just saw your update about fixing things yourself… well look at therapy as a type of hardware store where you go to ‘buy’ tools.  Right now, the only tool in your tool box is lies.  You just need to get more tools 🙂  Therapy won’t fix you, YOU can fix you, but you need the right tools.

Post # 7
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I think a therapist could help you work through why you’re doing this and putting yourself through the emotional turmoil. I’ve told some stupid lies like that before but I knew why…I have lied about eating lunch because I didn’t want the person asking to make a fuss over it while I explained why I was too busy at work to eat etc. – for me stupid lies were often me taking the path of least resistance. I didn’t want to have to explain myself and/or be fussed over. It’s stupid sure, but if you have no reasoning for these lies at all and they’re making you sick…then you should get to the root of the problem and start to heal.

Please try and see a therapist. It couldn’t hurt but it could help.

Post # 8
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

A therapist can help you. Sorry you’re having such a hard time.

Post # 9
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Even if you had a bad therapist before, that doesn’t mean every therapist is bad. I too had some really bad counselors. I think you should try again. What do you have to lose by trying? 

Post # 10
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@anonliar:  I struggled with pathological lying (lying when you don’t mean to) when I was younger!

It is NOT a fun fight. But a therapist may be able to tell you if it’s a side effect of a bigger problem!

Post # 13
Member
4215 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@anonliar:  It’s okay to feel anxious about it. I sure did when I tried again. I really wish you good luck. 🙂

Post # 14
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@anonliar:  It got way easier when I grew out of my conduct disorder (which is basically sociopathy for children), but it’s still something I actively work on.

That’s part of the reasons I love internet forums! I can say the whole truth without part of my brain FREAKING out about the potential consequences!

Post # 15
Member
2831 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

not all therapists are bad. it takes time and effort to find the one that’s right for you. i hope you get the help you need.

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