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Hm. If she is sensitive about money issues, or if you are, I would say go with the gift. That way, yes, she knows you got her a gift when she said not to, but the actual price of the gift isn't quite as out there as it would be with cash or a gift card. Sure, if it's something her and her husband were looking at already, they probably already know the price, but it's not quite as obvious as the other options
I would go with getting them a gift, something she can look at and remember that you got it for them for their wedding.
I'd also go with a gift! You're sweet either way to be so concerned with what is best for them.
We said no gifts too.
The things we need are not thing that fall nicely into the registry range of costs, and we didn't want people wasting money on a bunch of stuff we can't even store when they already paid dearly to come to the wedding. Three couples bought us house stuff anyway, and 2 of the three gifts are going to get donated brand new since they are not our taste and we have nowhere to store them. A couple of others gave us books and cash, which eliminates the issue of having a large home item that is not our taste or that we can't store. I love both books. My gf's gave me a framed pic of us together at the last gf's to get married wedding. These smaller thoughtful gifts I'll have forever.
We didn't expect cash either, but we can always use it. The cash that we got seriously helped take the bite out of the wedding expense. Gift cards, while thoughtful, are a much bigger pain in the butt to use than cash. You always end up either needing to spend more than the card or just loose money off the card to make it work. And, I don't know how many times i've had cards get lost, stolen, or expire.
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and am still kind of iffy on the gift. The problem is I got married a year ago and this friend gave me a relatively inexpensive server dish. At the time they did not have much money and I told her that I did not want a gift because it was a destination wedding and her paying to get there was more then enough. So I leave for her destination wedding today... I was planning to give her $150 from me and my hubbie up until last night but not I am thinking it might make her feel awkward because she told me the same thing... no gifts. I know they need alot of stuff for their house too though... I was over to her house last week and we were looking through a catolgue of stuff and I know her husband and her were rather keen on those Keurig coffee machines and some other household items. Now I dont know if I should just go and buy a gift or stick to cash... or maybe a gift card? She doesnt have a registry either. I need to get it today because I was going to bring over her gift before our flight tonight. Thanks for any advice! :)