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Gulf of Mexico

I really wish I could move past this feeling

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
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    1.
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    545 posts
    Busy bee
    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    I need some advice ladies - especially those of you who are wedding graduates. It's 4 days until my wedding and I am not excited about it all.

    There has been so much drama with my guest list. People are dropping out, people are still trying to add guests, etc. I just feel like this wedding has nothing to do with love, happiness or me or my fiance.

    I need to get past this feeling. I am full of hate, not love. I've already talked with my fiance, and he's given me lots of advice and positive thoughts. I just think it's difficult for him to truly understand because he's not a bride. I feel so alone. I've cried twice already this week and I'm conerned that the stress of it all will swallow me up.

     
    2.
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    Bumble bee
    bvig    September 2009   wedding in NJ

    Just focus on your FI, it's the reason you're going through this, and forget the rest, all that matters in the end is you get to marry your FI

     
    3.
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    Buzzing bee
    snmcdowell    9-13-08   Chicago

    Don't worry, on the big day all that will disappear and you will truly feel like a bride! Focus on getting enough sleep and let go of all the details. At this point you are getting married and all the rest is just extra.

     
    4.
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    Buzzing bee
    caitlanc    September 12, 2009   Western Slope of Colorado

    I second letting go of everything.  I definitely stressed about the guest list a lot and in the end there were extra people but they were balanced out by others who couldn't come at the last minute.  This IS your and your about-to-be-husband's day.  I definitely felt lost at times during the planning period but in the end it all came together in a perfectly imperfect way.  Take some time to be by yourself if that's what recharges you.  If that means some details don't get done then so be it.  They're just details and no one will miss them. 

    Take deep breaths and focus on WHY you're doing this whole crazy thing.  The rest can just fall by the wayside.

     
    5.
    Bee
    2,061 posts
    Buzzing bee
    star    October 11, 2009   New York, NY!

    We're four days out, too, and I think the best advice I have for you at this point is that how you're feeling about everything will change soooo quickly, that you'll likely be over this yucky stage soon!

    I have been on such a rollercoaster of emotions for the past two weeks -- feeling overwhelmed, then overjoyed; anxious, then peaceful. Hopefully you'll be super excited about everything once you've had a good night's sleep on it. I'm doing my best to not sweat the small stuff at this point, too, but it can be hard! 

    Good luck and have fun. Don't worry, the stress will fade away!

     
    6.
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    Buzzing bee
    IA_Snowflake    August 29, 2009   Missouri Valley, IA

    In the end, all that matters is that you're marrying the man you love.  If people are driving you nuts with questions, etc, can you delagate a go to person?  Give up the calls and emails and have this person deal with everything so you can focus on relaxing and enjoying these last few days.  Good luck and congratulations!

     
    7.
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    Busy bee
    PandasWifey    September 26, 2009   Denver, Colorado

    hang in there, you will feel different on the day, I promise :)

     
    8.
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    Helper bee
    liztwinz    10/17/2009   SW Georgia

    I went there, last week-I was like "I don't give a rip about anyone or anything to do with the wedding and I certainly don't want to clean my room"-yeah, a tantrum. I stomped about the house for an hour or so-pouted for a couple of days, and it passed. I just had this major catharsis (prompted by FI) who said "I'll be there, you'll be there, the twins will be there, my parents and your parents will be there-that is ALL that matters". And I just accepted it. Worrying and stewing about it was making me very sleepy and very angry. I'm a much happier bride now. :)

     
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    Bee Keeper
    KMSull    August 7, 2010   Lexington, KY (via Atlanta, GA)

    *hugs* you are SO CLOSE to your wedding and you know what? You have put so much time and effort into it that of course you're feeling the stress. Take a deep breath with me, okay? Aaaaaaaaaaaand exhale! You are marrying your guy and that is the reason for the WHOLE day! THAT is what matters, nothing else! So exciting!

     
    10.
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    3,805 posts
    Honey bee
    mrspaetz    July 4 2009   Singapore / California

    girl, you've done so much and worked so hard to make this wedding happen, and have a beautiful, promising marriage ahead of you.

    i had to deal with a lot of unfortunate drama 36hrs before our wedding too, and it boiled down to making a conscious choice to not let anyone rob me of what could be a gloriously happy day.

    i hope you manage to do the same too.
    Guests dropping out? Too bad, it's THEIR loss, not yours.

    Enjoy your day. You deserve every minute of it!

     
    11.
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    545 posts
    Busy bee
    poli2b    October 11, 2009   Aliso Viejo

    Thank you Bees!

    I feel soooo much better today. I took your advice and just focused on my FI. I took a break from wedding drama and projects and just spent the evening hanging out with my FI. And I made sure to get a good nights rest. What a difference! I even pulled my dress out of the closet, just to look at it. That made me feel more excited about the big day.

     
    12.
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    Honey bee
    hotchildinthecity    June 12, 2010   New York, NY

    I have not had my wedding yet, but I've become awfully stressed about wedding things lately.  i've adopted two sayings, "Not my problem" and "Nothing I can do about it."

    These have helped me enormously ;o)

     
    13.
    14,581 posts
    Honey
    Beekeeper
    ejs4y8    June 20, 2009  

    I know this is late, but i was going to tell you to have a meeting/date with FI and talk about why you're getting married. REafirm it. It'll give you warm fuzzies to have him tell you why he loves you and why Sunday will be so important to you. Decide together to just stop caring about everyone else =].

    This is pretty common. Every one of my friends has had drama. On the day of, they're like "i don't give a damn. it's not about them". Something about the dress is very empowering to them =]

     

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