Post # 1
So I saw the poll about whether or not bees regret getting their dogs and I hate to say I am one of them. As much as I love my girl, I was more excited about the idea of a pet than the reality of caring for one. I don’t have the patience for training and she’s developed some really bad habits I have no idea how to take care of. For example: she has some pretty bad separation anxiety, howling for hours until me or FI come home, and our neighbors have complained. Thankfully they have been gracious but now that we’re moving I’m terrified we’ll get kicked out of our next place because of it. She’s also really bad on a leash and has twisted my ankle because of her pulling. Of course she’s also chewed many of our things to pieces and had several accidents in the apartment. Some days I get so frustrated all I can do is put her in her kennel and try not to scream.
Since we’re moving, I tossed around the idea of finding a new home for her until we were ready for a pet (because as much love as we give I can acknowledge that we’re not the best pet parents), and FI actually cried at the thought of it. I’m so mad at myself for begging to get a dog against his insistence that we weren’t ready. Now we both love her so much and it’s hard to imagine a life without her. But I can’t help but feel like finding her a family who has the time, patience, and lifestyle for her would be better for all parties involved in the long run.
Post # 3
@chickspartan: The dog can only be as good as it’s trainer. If you don’t have the time and/or patience to properly train, love and care for it, please find someone who does. Puppies are like having children, and it’s good that you are realizing it now and can hopefully find a good home for it.
Post # 4
This post makes me sad.. my dog has extremely bad anxiety, he’s been known to poop/pee on the carpet if he is left alone for too long but I would never consider giving him away because of it.. would you give a child away because he/she was scared of the dark? Animals are a huge responsibility, I hope that if you do giver her away you are 100% ready for an animal the next time you get one..
Post # 5
@chickspartan: It sounds like you have thought this through (Although that isn’t to say that you need to make up your mind right now) and it also sounds like a very responsible, mature decision. I have seen way too many people who keep an animal that they cant take care of or really don’t want to (but are unalbe to recognize that). I think with many pets (especially dogs), we tend to have this warm fuzzy idea of how it will be – and reality isn’t always as fun. Do I love my two dogs? More than I could easily explain. Do they sometimes really try my patience and make me yell, omg I am not ready for kids???!?? YES.
Do you think if you worked with a trainer it might be any easier? My old dog definitely needed a lot of hands on work, so I worked with her and a trainer one on one (And then later in a small group) and she was AMAZING.
Post # 6
@smv22114: I agree that a dog is only as good as its trainer. And I’m a crappy one. I just don’t know what to do now that everyone involved is so attached. If my dog has separation anxiety already, how will she react if we give her away to complete strangers and never come back? It breaks my heart thinking about it.
Obviously there’s no easy way to go about this. Does anyone know how a dog deals with losing her family?
Post # 7
@Brickette: It made me sad to type it. I’m not thinking of giving her away because of her accidents. I know those mistakes are just as much my fault because I didn’t take the time to correct it. I’m just wondering if a family who is more ready for her might be better than me and FI. It’s a very difficult decision I’m not making lightly.
Post # 8
@chickspartan: She will be much happier in the long run, in an active and loving environment where she will get constant attention. Trust me, she will take to a good owner/family really quickly if they love on her right away. Puppies just want a lot of constant attention… As long as they are getting that, that’s when their loyalties begin to grow.
Post # 9
@MsLobizon: That’s some really great advice actually. I guess we always assumed training wasn’t something we could afford though. We could maaaybe do about $80/month max. Planning for a wedding, saving for a house, paying off student debt, etc. makes it difficult for these types of things. Does that sound like a reasonable dollar amount?
Again, I know I’m a horrible pet parent because I got her before I could afford her. I just really had no idea. I saw pictures of puppies and stupidly decided I was ready for such a huge responsibility.
Post # 10
@chickspartan: im upset that you didnt know all these things before getting a dog. But thats as much negative as I will say.
To help you with the seperation anxiety there are a few things you can try
1- Bark collar – there are a few bark collars you can look into. There is the one that shocks them, it sounds mean but the shock doesnt hurt. It feels like static. Yu know when the friction of the carpet zaps you kinda thing or there is the bark collar that sprays water.
2-Leave a radio on for the puppy
3- Walking- try a harness instead of a regular collar leash. If the harness doesnt worn try a Gentle Leader. The gentle leader works best for me bc my dog Daisy is terrible on a leash as well. The gentle leader gives you the control. Bc you have control of their snout they are less likely to pull
4-Accidents in the house- train her to use a weewee pad. Pick a designated place in the apartment and leave the wee wee pad there. They sell weewee pads that have a scent that will help them pee there and when she does praise her so she knows she did good.
5-Chewing things shes not supposed too- well, theres not much i can say here except baby proof the house. And if you catch her chewing something shes not supposed to chew you reprimand her. Pms dont hit the dog but use an authorative tone NO! Dogs learn good and bad by your tones
I hope this has been helpful. Training a dog is not hard you really just have to have patience.
Post # 11
Not attacking, but it is a little confusing to me that you would buy a pet without knowing the work it would take. Did you do any research before you bought your dog? Did you research specific breeds? Did you find a breed that suits your lifestyle? Some breeds are better for apartment living and some breeds are more independent and do not require their humans to be around 100% of the time. Did you take into consideration that you and your FI would be gone for long periods of time? And did you even consider buying an older dog from a rescue that wouldn’t require all the training that a puppy does?
It does sound like you jumped before you really thought about the consequences, but what’s done is done and now you have a puppy that NEEDS some training. It really is as simple as doing your research online and following through! There is so much out there that you can try. Don’t give up yet, it is not fair to the dog.
Post # 12
Im sorry if I came across as rude, it’s just a touchy subject for me.. My dog is a rescue who was abandoned so the thought of giving away a dog just makes me sad!
Could you perhaps try a try a trainer first to see if things can improve and you don’t have to give her away!? I would say that if she gets anxiety from being away from you givin her to a new home may stress her our more!
Good luck x
Post # 13
@chickspartan: I have two dogs and one of them has bad separation anxiety also. It took a lot of time and patience to help him over it.. He also chewed a lot and pooped in the house in an effort to get more attention. I’ve had him for two years now and he’s still not entirely there.
I would say that you seem like a caring person, who is genuinely worried for the dog. Please don’t take it to a kennel or rescue place. Try to find an owner. These ‘rescue’ places have high kill rates and chances are high that the dogs will be put down within 48 hours of being dropped off.. especially if they have issues like anxiety. Sad fact, but I know someone who works for one and it’s the ugly truth.
What kind of dog is it if I may ask?
Post # 14
IMO, it takes a more responsible person to admit when they have made a mistake and to remedy it than to continue to keep a pet they cannot give their all to. You have admitted that you weren’t ready for a dog, and it is likely you cannot give this dog what it needs. I think it is better for the dog in the long run to be placed with a family who has the time and the patience to train her and keep her than for you to keep her out of guilt.
Is the situation ideal? Of course not. But everyone makes mistakes. As long as you relocate her to a good home or a no-kill shelter, I think it will be okay. And just take your time in the future before diving into pet ownership again.
Post # 15
I had a hard time coping with giving my foster dog to his adoption family, but what put me at ease was someone told me that dogs live in the moment, they dont dwell on the past like people do. Thats why so many grown, adult dogs are able to be successfully rehomed. If someone tried to rehome me with a strange family, it probably wouldnt be quite as easy… Lol the dog will overcome the rehoming. He will (even if it takes a little time) adjust, and fit right in to a new family.
Best of luck. I know its not easy. I got my foster dog knowing full and well the day would come when id have to give him up, and i was still a basket case for nearly a week afterwards…
Post # 16
Wow, this is so sad. Those are all problems that have an easy solution. If you loved her enough, you would want to spend the time to take care of her properly.
The best advice I can give is to go to your local petsmart and sign up for those $100 puppy classes. They’re meant for puppies, but will work on your dog no matter what age she is. They will teach you everything you need to know on how to calm her down. I would also seriously consider taking her to a doggy daycare a few times a week. Maybe start off with 1 or 2 days a week and take it from there. She will get the exercise and socialization she needs. My dog LOVES it. She never jumps out of the car and pulls on me the way she does to get into doggy daycare. It’s the only time she pulls so hard, I can’t hold her leash anymore. Any other time, though she’s a perfect angel (95% of the time, of course..). We just went through an issue with separation anxiety and we put her bed and blanket and a bunch of toys and a treat in her crate and she is perfectly fine in there.
And if you can’t do a few little things and wait it out for her to get over the bad habits (which you created, btw), then please don’t ever get a dog again. It’s never going to be any easier.