(Closed) I ruined his bachelor party! :S

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
3771 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

I would have done the same thing you did :/  You both agreed no strip clubs, what’s the point of agreeing if you just let it slide?  I’m glad your FI talked to his friends and straightened them out!

Post # 4
Member
209 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I would be upset too. The thought of my fiance at a strip club makes me cringe…. However, I realized that if I can’t trust him at a strip club, then I shouldn’t be marrying the guy. You know? 

When he returns home I would just apologize for the angry text, but you don’t have to apologize for how you feel about the situation. Then I would just drop it. Its not worth any more discussion about the issue. 

Post # 5
Member
9826 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

Well if my husband to be had a history of cheating on me, I’d expect him to not put himself into a situation like that whether he knew it was planned or not. So I guess I’m not really sure what it is you feel bad about.

Post # 6
Member
1360 posts
Bumble bee

I would’ve done the same thing you did. If you both agreed on it, it isn’t fair for his friends to plan on going there anyway (especially if he talked to them beforehand; if not, a phone call will clear things up- and it looks like it did!) 🙂

Post # 7
Member
7293 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011

Considering you’re set to be married and you guys have had some issues regarding infidelity in the past, I in no way see it as you ruined anything! You guys are adults working together in a partnership that values communication and trust. Its better that you share your feelings and work things out ( you already agreed no stripclubs etc), then slip them under the rug.

Post # 8
Member
1766 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

I don’t blame you for being upset.. I would have been too! It doesn’t sound to me like you ruined anything either, since you both had an agreement. I would just apologize for the angry text and say that your emotions got the better of you. But you shouldn’t need to apologize for your feelings! And who cares what the other guys think! 🙂

Post # 9
Member
1128 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 2011

Since he has had issues with cheating in the past, I think its fine that you said something. I would be worried too. Had he not had these issues then I would have let it slide.

Post # 10
Member
9484 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2012

I don’t care for strip clubs myself, but I would have probably asked him what his thoughts were on it because FI doesn’t really care about strip clubs.  He was even thrown out of one because he was being such a smart ass.  I would want him to stand his ground moreso in general since it is HIS night and not theirs.  

ETA: I just woke up and didn’t see the cheating part until I read other comments.  I think you did the right thing.  

Post # 11
Member
2282 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

All you did was text him? 

Even if the text you sent him was angry, that shouldn’t ruin an entire bachelor party. If he wanted  to go to strip clubs, he’d go. Sounds to me like he was able to use your message as a useful pretext to get out of going. Guys need that sometimes – it’s very difficult for them to get out of something like that when all the other guys are insisting on going. 

And I’d say your trust issues can probably be over now. He clearly cares more about making you happy than anything else 🙂

Post # 12
Member
11760 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I think you are completely validated in your feelings and reaction.  He needs to earn your trust back and you both agreed on no strippers. You do not need to give him a break because it’s a bachelor party.  Good luck hun and feel confident in your decision to stand your ground!

If I had any history of cheating/distrust with my fiance he wouldn’t even be having a bachelor party! 

Post # 15
Member
3627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

Oh HELL NO you didn’t overreact! Your FI is lucky he’s even allowed out of the house! Jk a little… Anyway, good luck figuring out the trust issues before the wedding!

Post # 16
Member
996 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

“Yesterday was my 30th birthday (ew!), but it also happens to be the day that FI’s buddies decided to kidnap him for the his bachelor party”

Am I the only one wondering why this had to be on your birthday? And a milestone birthday at that? Sounds like some pretty inconsiderate friends.


I see nothing wrong with you texting him and asking him about it, you agreed about what you were and weren’t comfortable with, and it appeared that he was going to disregard that agreement. And you were alone and tipsy on your birthday. I would have been waaaaay worse lol

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