Weddingbee boards

As many of us not yet engaged ladies are, I was very anxious to get my ring after almost a year and a half of dating and 8 months spent living together. My boyfriend and I made a few different trips to look at rings, and I had studied them online in search of the perfect one. We had narrowed the results down to 2 different rings at Jared: One was Scott Kay that I really loved and one was Neil Lane (my 2nd choice). The setting from Scott Kay was a halo style and I told my boyfriend I wanted a .75 center stone. That "final two" choice was made about 2 weeks ago.

Soo... My birthday was two days ago! I thought that I might be getting the ring then. Got a great Coach clutch, candles, and this big mirror for our dining room I had been wanting for months. I knew my boyfriend spent a lot, so I knew the ring wasn't coming that day. Without my boyfriend knowing, I had a little cry session on the phone with my mom about how I was disappointed bc I thought the ring might have been coming. (Keep in mind I cry easily..coming off BC bc I think it makes me even worse, but just recently went off..anyhow!) I then took a shower, got dressed and my boyfriend didn't know I was upset.

Later that night, we had dinner at our place since we had a big wkend out the wkend before to celebrate my birthday. I guess I was kind of quiet all night although I tried not to be. Finally my eyes started to get a little moist and my boyfriend saw. He insisted I tell him what was wrong. After a few mins of probing I said "I just thought that maybe my gift was a ring." This created an arguement that is probably not that uncommon with girls who are ready and guys who haven't proposed yet.

After a little bit I calmed down, my grandparents called to wish me a happy birthday from 3 states away and I was fine! Right after that phone call my boyfriend pulls me into our bedroom and has me just cuddle on the bed. He looks into my eyes and says "I love you very much and know that I want to be with you forever" and gets out THE RING. Beautiful Scott Kay setting I wanted only with a .9 carat diamond. I was in shock. BUT... I could tell right after he did it, he felt so awkward. It was like 9:45 at night, we were in our pjs, my hair was a mess, face puffy from crying. I called my mom and texted her a picture, but he didn't call anyone. I could tell something wasn't right. We went to bed that night and he layed there saying "I just always pictured it so much better". That broke my heart.

You have to know my boyfriend, he's a successful 25 year old in business, a perfectionist. I knew he had such bigger plans in mind for our engagement. He let himself down.

We went to bed and I woke up at 4am and couldn't go back to sleep. I woke him too. The whole thing just didn't feel right (NOT bc we didn't want to be together..but bc I knew the proposal was done on a whim bc I was upset.) We talked about it and I said I cannot live with the guilt of you not getting to do your proposal and looking back on this night as it. He admitted he was so embarassed and ashamed that he asked me that way and said it was impulsive and that he didn't know what he was thinking. I'll tell u..I know what he was thinking...That he was trying to make ME happy!

I said lets just redo this some other time, we haven't told anyone but my parents and they know that I was crying bc I didn't get my ring and they'd understand that he wanted to do it right. My boyfriend was so worried that they'd judge him and thought there was no option of a redo bc it's a once in a lifetime thing (a proposal). Well after awhile I finally convinced him that I couldn't take the ring under theese circumstances and I was so so sooo sorry I ruined his proposal (He always said i would ruin it if I kept nagging).

I took the ring off. The next morning he left for work and I got a text message about how sorry he was and how ashamed he was bc it was nothing special. He said in his wildest dreams he never thought he'd be such a failure at the proposal. I told him how it was my fault and he loved me so much he was just trying to make me happy.

I think now he feels the pressure to something exceptional. And he and I both feel dumb bc who gets engaged to the same person twice ? But that's us.. unconventional. And that's me: what can go wrong will. I ruined the proposal he wanted to do bc I was crying and wanting the ring so bad. I'm such a jerk!

So needless to say we have the ring locked away in our filing cabinet. I explained to my parents the situation and they seemed to understand, but my boyfriend is still MAJORLY beating himself up about it. He feels like what he hoped for all his life is ruined and that a proposal can only be done once. He said the next time won't be special. I disagree, I say it will.

Any advice for us or similar stories. We cannot believe this happened.

And lesson ladies, be patient for your man and don't push him and ruin things like I did.

I can understand where you're coming from as I was also "gently nudging" as I like to call it.  I can remember several times I was upset as I thought it would have happened already and he always knew.  Mine was the same way and wanted everything to be perfect and the place he took me to was closing earlier so he didn't have as much time as he wanted.  In the end though it doesn't matter.  I know it feels like it does (and likely will for a little), but you'll soon feel only happiness.  You'll obviously remember what happened still, but the feelings you are both feeling now will fade over time.

Very happy to hear you'll soon be engaged (again) and wishing you all the best!

I think that second proposal can be special. As long as it will make both of you happy- go for it!

This is the answer to "He said the next time won't be special"

:) 

I completely know how you feel! My FI and dated for three years and had always talked about getting engaged the summer before our last year of college so we could get married once we graduate. My birthday is at the end of April and he said he had a suprise planned for me (he never plans suprises). I thought that could be when he proposed since it was earlier than I would have expected and in effect be a suprise. It ended up just being a nice dinner and a day trip but I had gotten my hopes up so much that I ended up telling him on our way home and ruined the day. For the rest of the summer I tried not to think about it so it could be a true suprise. We went to the beach with his family at the end of July and I was prepared that it wouldprobably be there. On the second evening we were there he started acting very strange and was in a HORRIBLE mood. He was so mad at his grandma and aunt that were there because they scheduled family portraits the following evening. I was excited about them and couldn't understand why he was so angry about it. We got into a huge argument and ended up leaving dinner with everyone early and fought in our condo. He basically let it slip that he had a special reason why he was upset and I should know during his emotional outburst. I decided to go out and take a walk on the beach by myself (it was nightime at this point). About ten minutes into my walk he called me and asked if he could meet me on the beach. We found each other and he gave me a kiss then said that the reason he was upset is because he wanted to have engagement photos taken. At the same time he reached in his pocket and got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I knew whencalmer me out on the beach that he was going to propose then, I just knew it. My first response to him was......"are you kidding?" Then I said yeh. I had the weirdest feeling after that. I wasn't happy but I wasn't upset either, it was just weird. Not at all what I thought it would be like. He next day he told me about the plans he wanted to do (hide the ring in a seashell and reach down to get it while we walk or have lights that say WYMM at the park he works at). I just had this feeling he did it to get it over with or spur of the moment. I guess what I longed for was something thought out and a true suprise. It wasn't a suprise at all. His attitude was also not want i would have wanted. He was in such a horrible mood and still blames his grandma and aunt for screwing it up even though i dont think that it made a dofference at all to his original plans. He said he thought we would go out to eat that evening to celebrate the engagment but they scheduled pics at the same time. We still had pics taken and went to dinner but he was in a bad mood for both of those (even thoigh he knows i was excited for both). Does he not get that the proposal is so much more important to me than how we celebrate it?!?!?! We have now been engaged for six months and ate getting married in the fall. I'm ecstatic to marry him and have no doubt about that, yet there is still a feeling inside me that longs for that dream proposal or at least that "feeling." 

I have a "real" proposal and... we story a both tell everyone! My FI was planning to propose in a paddleboat in the middle of the Tidal Basin during the Cherry Blosson festival in Washington, DC. BUT... the morning we were supposed to go, the weather was looking like it might rain. Cloudy, cold- not an ideal paddle boat day. So, FI came over to my apartment that morning while I was getting ready and let himself in. He proposed while I was getting out of the shower! I sort of tackled him, SOAKING WET, and said Yes!

We went to the paddle boats anyway and took some pictures while re-enacting, which we now use to support the story we both tell everyone about our proposal- that he did it exactly the way he was originally planning. The true story is too racy for some circles and we sort of treat it as a little inside joke between us ;) (and now, all of you. haha) Both stories are special to me, just in different ways. I'm sure both of yours will be just as special to you.