Post # 1
So I get a text message last night from my FI’s step mom’s sister (yeah, I know) lol. We felt obligated to invite her and her husband to our reception. On the invitation, it just had her and her husband’s name on it. We were told by FI’s step Mom that we did not have to invite their two teenage daughters, they probably would not come anyways.
I didn’t really feel bad becuase in the 6 years FI and I have been together, I have seen these girls twice.
So the text message says that daughter #1 is coming and that daughter #2 might come and can she bring a date.
I told FI about it and we both decided that we would gently and respectfully explain that we just do not have the room for more people (which is true). The girls weren’t even invited so that alone is kind of frustrating.
I texted her back to say, “sorry, we are just maxed out as it is with the guest list, I hope she doesn’t mind. Let me know if she can come”
She never replied and now I kinda feel bad.
Should I have just said yes? I am sure not everyone who is invited will be going but I just feel like if I say yes to everyone who asks we will be way over our limit.
Post # 3
no, i truly do not think that you did the wrong thing. These situations are unbelievable awkward and honestly a part of the planning process that I am dreading.
I think that you were kind enough to let the daughter come even though she was clearly not invited. Honestly I would not worry about it, you did nothing wrong!
Post # 4
No, you shouldn’t have said yes. There is no problem saying no in this case. We have a lot of “obligated to invite” friends of the family. Even though I know some of their kids from growing up, none of their kids are invited.
They were wrong for not paying attention to the invites as to who was invited.
Post # 5
- Wedding: April 2013 - A court...
Nope. They weren’t invited & your still letting them go, so I thought that was fair.
Post # 6
No you should have just said “I’m sorry, we are not able to accomodae daughter #1 and daughter #2 at our wedding. I will mark you and your husband as attending.”
Post # 7
@CarterLove: You were more than nice – I would have told the woman that sorry, the invitation was only for her and her husband. You should absolutely not feel guily about telling the daughter that she can’t bring a date!
Post # 8
@CarterLove: that was extremely rude of step mom’s sister. You addressed their invitation to her and her husband and now she’s saying she is bringing plus THREE? You were nice enough to even let the daughters come after they weren’t invited. Don’t feel bad, she is the rude one. You have a max guest list and weddings arent cheap. That frustrates me. I am acouple months away from invites, I worry about these types of situations. You should not have said yes.
Post # 9
- Wedding: July 2012 - Baltimore Museum of Industry
No, the girls weren’t invited to begin with. Allowing two univited guests is generous enough, let alone some randon teenage boy.
Post # 10
@CarterLove: No you shouldn’t have said yes. Nor should you allow anyone else to make you feel bad about decisions you make regarding your wedding. Its perfectly reasonable to not allow someone you barely know to bring a date you know even less.
If anything, she should feel bad for inviting uninvited guests to someone elses wedding. Terribly rude.
Post # 11
I agree that it’s nice of you to allow the daughters to attend. I understand that you’re frustrated even by that! I also don’t think they need to bring dates. You have to draw the line somewhere, and as they’ll be attending with family, it’s not like they won’t know anyone at the wedding.
Post # 12
No, but you shouldn’t have allowed the daughter to attend either. I love how this woman thinks nothing of inviting 2 extra guests to your wedding, but then thinks she’s being polite by confirming whether they can bring dates. SMH.
Post # 13
No, you didn’t do anything wrong. And personally, I wouldn’t have let the daughters come at all. A budget is a budget! How presumptuous could people be to invite themselves?
Post # 14
@Hausfrau: +1….or wait, should I say +2 or maybe +3. So rude
Post # 15
@Misswhowedding: Thank you. I know. There are a few others we felt we HAD to invite and it is the worst.
@CakeyP: I know! I was so close to saying that. I should have.
@Sea_Ashley: Thank you… I think so too.
@blushpink10: I think it was rude too! I had a feeling there would be a few cases like this. It is hard as you don’t want to upset anyone. I hope you don’t have to deal with people like this!
@rebwana: I am glad you agree! Thanks.
@KC-2722: I know. I knew there would be situations like this and I always thought I would be stronger and be able to just say no. It is so hard though lol
@Gemstone: That’s what I said too! They will be going with their parents, they do not need to bring dates.
@Hausfrau: I know 🙁 I was tempted to just tell her that her daughters were not invited. FI and I both decided that would be a way to maybe meet in the middle with her.
@Seashells7: Yeah, it is not a fun situation 🙁 I think we were reasonable, almost too nice.
@atreyu547: I think we’re being fair, too!
Thanks everyone! I feel better now. Although I still wish I would have drawn the line at her and her husband, I am glad we stood our ground. If she is upset that she can’t bring a date, then she doesn’t have to come.
Post # 16
@CarterLove: You did absolutely nothing wrong! Infact it was super rude of this women to text you at all. It was nice of you to allow her to bring her daughters (even though you totally did not have to).
It’s over now and don’t let it bother you! This women was rude and honestly if she is so offended and decides not to come it probobly won’t be a big loss.
Also, we are getting married on the same day!! It’s getting sooooo close!!