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We went on a cruise and there was a hotel and outdoor glass room right near the ocean. When we arrived, a wedding was about to begin. The site was really pretty, since it was right on the water. The bride came out of the hotel (which was quite a distance, but we could clearly see it). WEll, long story short, it took her longer to get to the ceremony than the ceremony lasted. I think if I had to guess, the ceremony was about 7 minutes. I cannot believe I am killing myself planning for something that lasts such a short time! Is this what people expect when they go to a wedding?
Also, the bride had on a short ivory/beige dress and bright white FLIP FLOPS. Wow. Either I am old-fashioned, or that was tacky. Her hair was very formally done in an updo with sparkles in it. Ah, well, to each her own. But, the brief cerremony is what is really just totally freaking me out. I've only been to a handful of weddings, but I don't remember any being this brief!
Mine was only about 10 minutes long. You can make it as long or as short as you want - its your wedding. I was more concerned with partying with my friends and family and enjoying the fact that we were finally husband and wife for real!
It really depends on the ceremony. In my experience, secular weddings tend to have shorter ceremonies than religious weddings. My ceremony was an hour, but that's because I had a full Catholic Mass. One of my friends got married and her's was 15 minutes. It's your ceremony so it's your choice on how long it lasts.
I would LOVE for my ceremony to be 7 minutes long. I'm really not at all looking forward to standing up for an extended period of time with all eyes on me and my FI. It makes me want to barf just thinking about it. I have anxiety issues when it comes to stuff like that so for brides like me, short and sweet is the way to go with the ceremony.
I think ours will only be about 10 minutes. I'm really nervous about standing in front of a bunch of people and pouring my heart out. We're just sticking the basics, saying our own vows, kissing and we're out!
Totally feeling you on the beige dress/white flip flops and the sparkly hair though. Not my cup of tea at all.
I've seen plenty of brides in flip flops. I personally wouldn't do it, but I have no problem with it. Why not be comfortable? And it's on a cruise ship, not a the Four Seasons.
My ceremony will be quite short. Luckily someone who is close to both my FH and I is an ordained minister or else we would have just hired a JP and it probably would have been around 10 minutes long. We're only hoping to have the ceremony last about a half hour though.
But, white flip flops are definitely tacky!
I wish mine had been shorter. I think we clocked in between 15 and 20 minutes, and it was just a bit too long for my tastes. Yes, people want to witness your marriage, but they are really there to CELEBRATE with you, which doesn't really happen until the reception.
My ceremony was about 10-15 minutes tops and I think that's more the norm for outdoor/cruise/otherwise secular weddings.
Most weddings that I've been to have been short. There's really not much to do other than walk down the aisle, officiant talks, you repeat, exchange the rings, say vows, its over. Really, most aren't very long. You can make it longer if you want by getting married in a church and doing the whole mass (for catholic churches anyway) that would add about 30 min. You can also have a unity candle and have both sets of parents light a candle then you and FH each take a candle and light another candle.. you can add poems or songs.. you can add releasing of butterflies or doves. If you're jewish you can add some readings or breaking of the cup (I'm not sure what the correct term is for this...) but overall, I think usually the ceremony is usually short unless you have a religious ceremony. Maybe it was just because you were watching from afar and weren't "there" in the moment that it seemed weird??
I've been to weddings that were 2 hours long! I'm hoping mine just lasts an hour and that's if I'm lucky because we're having an Orthodox Chrisitan ceremony :P
@DutchBride21: 2 hours?! Was that a religious ceremony? The longest ceremonies I have been to were either Catholic or Greek Orthodox, and both clocked in at about an hour.
@Edina LOL Yes. I grew up in Chrisitian Pentacostal church and weddings there are not what anyone I know would be used to. First of all EVERYONE in the church is invited. No such thing as invitations. And that goes with the reception as well. THen all the different choirs have to sing and there is the sermon and don't get me started on the procession...lol Things have toned down a bit, but some of those rules are still in place. I don't attend this church anymore and my wedding will be invite only...lol My fiance is half Armenian so we'll do the Chrisitian Orthodox ceremony.
The first time I went to a non-Catholic wedding I was pretty surprised at how short it was!! It was about 10 minutes as well. Since then I've been to secular ceremonies that are up to 45 min long and religious ones less than 15 min, just depends on the couple.
But the length (or lack thereof) doesn't take away from the beauty of the ceremony! One of the most beautiful ones I attended was even less than 10 minutes and very informal.
Wow Menobride...thats pretty ballsy to get up on here and trash someones wedding. Not all weddings have to be an hour ceremony and a 4 hour reception.
I don't think flip flops are "tacky"...i'm planning on wearing flip flop because like this bride I am having an outdoor wedding. I had also entertained the idea of having it on a cruise ship . Besides the flip flops are probably more attractive looking than some of the other shoes that have been posted on here but I don't go here and say other bee's shoes are tacky.
As long as the bride and groom are happy who cares about everything else..they weren't putting on a wedding to impress you!
How would you feel if you came on here and someone trashed your wedding?
Ours will be on a beach and about 10 minutes long. I don't think it'll make it any less special, plus we have TONS of fun post-ceremony activities planned.
PS - i'll be in bare feet for my wedding.
@Ms Sassy: I totally agree with you and I'm surprised it took so long for someone to say that.
It's one thing to somewhat critique other things you have seen, but don't trash a wedding on a wedding board. Who knows, the bride may very well be one of our fellow bees.
@Ms Sassy: I totally agree with you and I'm surprised it took so long for someone to say that.
It's one thing to somewhat critique other things you have seen, but don't trash a wedding on a wedding board. Who knows, the bride may very well be one of our fellow bees.
I've shot weddings that were under 5... Mine will be about 1.5 hrs (Nuptial Mass). The biggest downside to a short wedding, is that there isn't much time for variety to your pics... :-)
@Ms Sassy: I'm wearing flip flops at my reception. I took her flip flop comment as the bride didnt match (ivory with bright white) and it looked tacky. which i think that it probably would look really funny not matching. But I'm not EXACTLY sure what she meant by it.
My ceremony will probably be about 30 minutes and i think thats a bit long! because i know my daughter and all the rest of the kids will be squirmy atfter about 10 minutes lol
@Mrs. Louboutin: People are allowed to have a negative opinion and think things are tacky. If a bride is wearing mismatched colors and a hairstyle that they don't like, it's ok to say that. It's OK to have an opinion that isn't sugarcoated. It really bothers me that people in these forums are so set on everything doing the "girl" thing and not speaking up if you have an unpopular opinion, or trying not to hurt anyone's feelings, ever. Women are allowed to have an opinion, period, and I think that is sometimes forgotten here.
@Ms Sassy: Same to you. She has the right to her opinion. Just as you apparently have the right to be nasty to the OP.
@Ms Sassy: I agree. What if that bride is a lurker on the boards? I can't imagine how hurt I would be if someone came on here and said something about my wedding!
As someone else said, to each their own. Our ceremony was pretty quick - about 20 minutes.
ours will be about 30 mins - hopefully - we arent having any singing just the ave maria played via organ.
Geez, @menobride. Just because a wedding isn't to your taste and doesn't meet your standards of formality does NOT make it tacky. This is not the first bride in the history of the world to wear flipflops--I don't see the big deal. If she's happy, what's the problem? I'm not sure I understand why you're freaking out...the length of another bride's ceremony has not bearing on the length of yours--you can do whatever you want! That's the fun of wedding planning!
@crayfish: I think theres a difference between posting negative opinions when a bride is asking for feedback. Yes, on these boards people tend to try to sugarcoat their opinions BUT there is a difference between that and just writing a post about how cr*ppy someone else's wedding is. Its pointless and petty and I think thats what is offending people.
"As long as the bride and groom are happy who cares about everything else..they weren't putting on a wedding to impress you!
How would you feel if you came on here and someone trashed your wedding?"
Quoted for truth. I 100% agree, Ms Sassy.
@crayfish: i agree everyone has a right to their opinion.
However, its not very classy to come on here and rip someone else's wedding when they weren't even a guest there! It would also be one thing if this cruise bride or any bride came on here asking for opinions and asking if something is/was tacky...they do it all the time.
But it's very classless to come on here and bash someones wedding about being short or that her flip flops didn't match her dress and to describe it as "ick".
There's a difference between responding to a post where someone asks for your opinion and creating a post with the SOLE PURPOSE of saying something negative about someone else's wedding. If the bride in question came on WB and said, "Hey guys, I'm planning to wear this dress with these flip flops, and my ceremony is going to be 5 minutes long. What do you think?" Then it would be perfectly acceptable to say, "Ummm, not really my thing...I don't care for flip flops and I think the ceremony should be longer since it's the whole point of the wedding." No one could bash her for having an opinion and expressing it when asked. But it's just mean and petty to write a post with no other purpose than to crap all over the choices of a fellow bride.
I bet that bride felt beautiful.
Of all the weddings I've seen, I've never seen one that was as tacky as a person that actually uses the word tacky to describe another brides wedding.
Just a friendly reminder that menobride posts on here a lot, and I don't think we should all flame her for something said, likely in the heat of the moment. I doubt she meant to be offensive.
Every time one of these "tacky" posts pops up I get that theme song from Weeds "Little Boxes" (little boxes made of ticky-tacky...) in my head. So thanks for that. That song is mad annoying.
For the record, beige/ivory with bright white is not OK but flip flops and whatever else is fine. It's all about personal preference and personal style because weddings are about the people getting married. I suppose one could argue that wearing beige/ivory with bright white is also a personal preference, but if someone wants to make the personal choice to color clash, I can't get behind that.
Yes, the OP was critical of the other bride's style, but I think the point of the post was that seeing it from afar made her think "I'm spending how much time, effort and money on this and the most important part of the day is over that quickly?!"
The mismatched white and ivory would stand out from a distance and looking through weddingbee at all the posts about little details or brides obsessing over insignificant things makes it clear that Menobride isnt the only one worried about the details (especially if they may look cheap or tacky!) And that's fine if you want to wear flip-flops to your wedding, but you shouldnt be surprised that some people find them to be way too casual for special occasions (I can wear flip flops to work, but corporate rules wont allow foam flip-flops - and that's for a retail clothing store, not a semi-formal event!)
Most of the Catholic ceremonies I've been to have been about an hour to an hour and 15 minutes. Most of the other (Christian, but non-Catholic) ceremonies I've been to have been 25-30 minutes. I think it really depends on what type of ceremony you choose and what you include. Personally, I would not want a super-short ceremony, but I could understand why some people might.
@Laylabelle: No need to be snarky. I am just pointing out that she probably didn't mean it to be so offensive to people, so it isn't necessary to flame her this badly. That's all.
@crayfish: "Tacky" is something that is a no-no to say on the boards. Additionally, her post was about how she didn't like this random person's wedding. It wasn't seeking advice about her own or anything.
I'm also one who typically does give that other opinion that may not be the most popular, but its never to put others down. All I know is that if I came onto these boards and read a post about how awful a wedding was that was clearly my own, my feelings would really be hurt. There are a LOT of people who read wedding bee. If the bride is a poster, it would really hurt her feelings because I bet on her day she felt beautiful and thought it was the happiest day of her life.
"I bet that bride felt beautiful.
Of all the weddings I've seen, I've never seen one that was as tacky as a person that actually uses the word tacky to describe another brides wedding."
Amen sister.
What if she had some awesome shoes that got forgotten, and had to buy the best shoes she could find on board the ship? What if she cried about it before the wedding? Or what if, God forbid, she was just a laidback bride that said, "Eh, these will do, what's important is marrying my fiance and spending time with our friends and family?" I just fail to see how someone else's fashion choices can really be "tacky". I'm not saying that "tacky" is a bad word all the time, but to me it usually means doing something in poor taste, like not inviting all of your wedding guests to the reception, or making some stand while others get to sit, etc. How she dressed for HER wedding day was a matter of PERSONAL taste that didn't affect anyone but her.
@daniellemybelle: "I just fail to see how someone else's fashion choices can really be "tacky"
I agree with everything you said except for that quoted above. See attached.
bubbies.jpg (74.9 KB, 33 downloads) 1 year old You must log in to post.
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