Post # 1
Hi everyone, first of all thank you so much for reading my post! I really need all the advice I can get. Here is my dilemma: I don’t know if I care about a wedding. Let me explain.
So I got engaged 2 weeks ago to my fiance who is seriously my best friend. We met through a Ivy League institution which creates a stigma to begin with. After getting engaged with a 2 carat center stone people are assuming we are having a lavish huge wedding but I do not think I want that. Firstly I want to wait to 2015 to get married and everyone is like why wait? The answer is because I want to. Secondly, I am still in graudate school and my parent’s rule was that I could get engaged but I cannot get wedding planning distracting me from my studies so I do not want to plan until May (when I graduate). I feel that all my friends are trying to push me into looking. They tell me “things book quickly, i would hate to see the place you want sold out.” The thing is I do not care at this moment. My biggest problem is I do not know what type of wedding I want or if I should elope or have a destination wedding. While my parents will be paying for the majority of the wedding, I could not bare to let them pay around $250 a person. I think it is crazy and I rather them give us the money to start our future (it is an option) or have a destination wedding with a small party or to just elope and have a party.
So to all the Bees out there could you give me advice? I really can use some.
Post # 3
When people try to get you to start looking, just say that you’re not going to be doing that for a while; that while you’re engaged, school comes first. Don’t let people pressure you into it, just be direct and decline. That’s all you have to do. “No, we’re not planning the wedding yet” is all you need to say. Your friends are just excited for you, and want to make sure that you get what you want. Have you told them your situation at all? If you do, they might understand and stop making suggestions. You don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to, though.
When it comes to figuring out what kind of wedding you want, just take it easy. You don’t have to choose now, you don’t have to know right now. Browsing is your friend. Look at wedding pictures for elopements, private ceremonies, and destination weddings through this website or a search engine like Google. Search for wedding pictures in cities and settings that interest you. Just browse and see what catches your eye.
I hope this helps. Take it easy. Good luck!
Post # 4
How are you going to figure out what kind of wedding you want if you don’t start looking at venues?
I don’t mean to be snarky. It’s just that your friends have a point, especially if you live in (and plan to marry in) NYC.
Also, your parents have a RULE about when you can get engaged? Yikes.
Post # 5
@sailor_girl: The rule about not marrying until having graduated may seem harsh, but really they are just making sure that she doesn’t get derailed. They want to make sure that she has one chapter finished before the next, which is a good. They also likely want to make sure that she doesn’t have the stress of finishing school and wedding planning at the same time.
At least that’s what it sounds like to me.
Post # 6
@FutureMrsHEA: If you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to have the wedding you want.
Just tell people that you are enjoying being engaged and that you are putting weding planning on the back burner for now until you are finished your schooling. You don’t owe anyone any explanations. Just keep repeating your own “mantra”. We will marry in our own time, in our own way.
Post # 7
@FutureMrsHEA: have the wedding when you want to. if you want to wait, wait. just tell people that you will not be thinking about planning until next year. i was engaged for over 2 years before we even set a date and started planning. there were things we wanted to accomplish.
Post # 8
Finish school like you had planned to, and stop stressing!! : )
People will back off, just tell them “we’re enjoying being engaged right now.” End of story. You need some time to figure out what you want & there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t let anyone rush you.
Post # 9
@FutureMrsHEA: Hey you are being so smart about it, finish school
if you want a destination my cousin got married here (after 11 year of dating and a 6 year engament he and his wife wanted to have their school there jobs and own a home 1st)
but this place is amazing omg it was the best week of my life and i was not even the bride
it is one of the most beautiful places it’s amazing and don’t let being in mexico scare you if you stay in the resort you are perfectly safe and there is so much to do
you are near one of the most amazing reefs you can go swim with sea turtles climb ruins or just relax on the beach in the clear bright blue water
they also plan everything for you it was wonderful … so stick to your gut and do a destination and let the planners plan and you just study and finish and do what feels right for you…. you are a busy women and don’t need to stress over a wedding have the people you love fly there enjoy an amazing week in heaven and see you say your vows to the man you love