I seriously need advice… Please help

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
1719 posts
Bumble bee

When people try to get you to start looking, just say that you’re not going to be doing that for a while; that while you’re engaged, school comes first. Don’t let people pressure you into it, just be direct and decline. That’s all you have to do. “No, we’re not planning the wedding yet” is all you need to say. Your friends are just excited for you, and want to make sure that you get what you want. Have you told them your situation at all? If you do, they might understand and stop making suggestions. You don’t have to tell them if you don’t want to, though. 


 When it comes to figuring out what kind of wedding you want, just take it easy. You don’t have to choose now, you don’t have to know right now. Browsing is your friend. Look at wedding pictures for elopements, private ceremonies, and destination weddings through this website or a search engine like Google. Search for wedding pictures in cities and settings that interest you. Just browse and see what catches your eye. 



I hope this helps. Take it easy. Good luck! 




Post # 4
534 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: March 2014

How are you going to figure out what kind of wedding you want if you don’t start looking at venues?

I don’t mean to be snarky.  It’s just that your friends have a point, especially if you live in (and plan to marry in) NYC.

Also, your parents have a RULE about when you can get engaged?  Yikes.

Post # 5
1719 posts
Bumble bee

@sailor_girl:  The rule about not marrying until having graduated may seem harsh, but really they are just making sure that she doesn’t get derailed. They want to make sure that she has one chapter finished before the next, which is a good. They also likely want to make sure that she doesn’t have the stress of finishing school and wedding planning at the same time. 


At least that’s what it sounds like to me. 


Post # 6
42166 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@FutureMrsHEA:  If you are mature enough to get married, you are mature enough to have the wedding you want.

Just tell people that you are enjoying being engaged and that you are putting weding planning on the back burner for now until you are finished your schooling. You don’t owe anyone any explanations. Just keep repeating your own “mantra”. We will marry in our own time, in our own way.

Post # 7
11379 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: April 2012

@FutureMrsHEA:  have the wedding when you want to.  if you want to wait, wait.  just tell people that you will not be thinking about planning until next year.  i was engaged for over 2 years before we even set a date and started planning.  there were things we wanted to accomplish.

Post # 8
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

Finish school like you had planned to, and stop stressing!! : )

People will back off, just tell them “we’re enjoying being engaged right now.” End of story. You need some time to figure out what you want & there’s nothing wrong with that. Don’t let anyone rush you.


Post # 9
1102 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@FutureMrsHEA:  Hey you are being so smart about it, finish school 


if you want a destination my cousin got married here (after 11 year of dating and a 6 year engament he and his wife wanted to have their school there  jobs and own a home 1st) 


but this place is amazing omg it was the best week of my life and i was not even the bride 




it is one of the most beautiful places it’s amazing and don’t let being in mexico scare you if you stay in the resort you are perfectly safe and there is so much to do 


you are near one of the most amazing reefs you can go swim with sea turtles climb ruins or just relax on the beach in the clear bright blue water 


they also plan everything for you it was wonderful … so stick to your gut and do a destination and let the planners plan and you just study and finish and do what feels right for you…. you are a busy women and don’t need to stress over a wedding have the people you love fly there enjoy an amazing week in heaven and see you say your vows to the man you love 

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