I showed my fiance my wedding dress :o\ uh oh..
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I showed my Fiancé my wedding dress :o\ uh oh..

posted 3 years ago in Dress
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    annmpoi    August 28, 2010  

    I'm getting married in August of 2010. I bought my wedding dress about a month ago, on the first time out looking - my mom cried when she saw me in it ^_^. I absolutely love the dress because it's not one of those traditional dresses with a huge skirt that would probably get very hot in August weather. It also has an empire waist with 'off the shoulder' straps embellished with detail.

    Well, I was having some second thoughts about the dress since I bought it the first time looking. My finace was really excited about it and wanted to see, so I agreed to show him a few (I really wanted to see what he thought!) with mine in the mix so I could see if he liked it or not.

    In order to throw him off, I went through a good... 50 ish dressed before we got to mine (not a good idea). He was almost positive that the dress was in the collection before the collection mine was in (and mine was the first dress in that collection) so when it came to mine, he wanted to talk about the previous collection because he thought we had already passed mine... offhandedly saying that my dress (not knowing it was mine of course) looked like a nightgown.

    Obviously I couldn't hide my disappointment, and he knows which one mine is now. Of course he says that he loves it and can't wait to see me in it on our wedding day. I can't help feeling bad about the whole thing. I contacted the designer to see if there was any way I could possibly return it and order a different style, but it might be too late.

    What should I do? Try and sell it or return it and get a different one? I know I shouldn't have showed him to begin with, I have a feeling it would be very difficult to sell it even though it hasn't been altered.. it hasn't even come in yet!

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    1. I showed my Fiancé my wedding dress :o\ uh oh.. :  wedding showing the dress fiance saw the dress wedding dress selling the dress Img dress_3.jpg (72.9 KB, 150 downloads) 3 years old
    2. I showed my Fiancé my wedding dress :o\ uh oh.. :  wedding showing the dress fiance saw the dress wedding dress selling the dress Img dress2.jpg (77.1 KB, 129 downloads) 3 years old
    3. I showed my Fiancé my wedding dress :o\ uh oh.. :  wedding showing the dress fiance saw the dress wedding dress selling the dress Img dress.jpg (95.9 KB, 135 downloads) 3 years old
     
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    jhphi    January 1, 2008  

    My fiance's seen a quick flash of mine, too.  No big deal!

     
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    jhphi    January 1, 2008  

    oops, sorry, posted before I saw your other fleshed out post.  :)

     
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    caitlanc    September 12, 2009   Western Slope of Colorado

    Do YOU still want to wear the dress?  I think it gorgeous.  I say that if you feel amazing and love the dress then you should wear it.  The bride makes the dress, not the other way around.  As long as you feel like you look amazing in it you will and you fiance/husband won't even notice what you're wearing. 

     
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    Miss Burgundy    May 28, 2010   Southern California

    I think that boys are dumb and the dress is beautiful. Wear it!

     
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    NovaScotiaBride    2010   Nova Scotia, Canada

    My FI saw my dress too, so I wouldn't worry about it. He can be very picky at times so I wanted his opinion.....if you asked him today what it looked like I don't think he could tell you because he would have forgotten.

     
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    Miss Sapphire    December 2009   Seattle

    Mine the other day actually wanted to know if I wanted to show him it!  He knows I hate secrets and can't keep them :)

     

    I wouldn't worry about it.  Not like he's seen you in it.

     
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    mrsleopard    November 22, 2008   Los Angeles

    I LOVE that dress - it reminds me of my mother's gown which I would have totally worn if I were a size 4.  So chic and elegant :)

    But, if you feel that uncomfortable, I would see if the designer would let you switch out for another style.

     

     
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    MissMelissaB    8/8/09   Temecula, CA

    Any dress on the model doesn't look anything like you're going to look with the dress, hair, makeup, jewelry, etc.  I'm sure you'll look lovely on your wedding day, and he'll definitely think so. 

     
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    LatteLove    June 19, 2009   Chicago/San Diego

    I think because of the circumstances, if I were you--I'd go for a new dress that you could feel confident and beautiful in. 

    If you're going to spend your wedding day wondering if he thinks you look like you're wearing a night gown (and you will likely spend some time before the wedding benig worried about that because of his reaction), than I think you should find a new dress--no peaking, and before you do that get an idea for what he likes so you can compromise! 

     
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    mrsbear    7/22/07   New York

    honestly, rarely can a man visualize what a piece of clothing is going to look like on you. he may have been tricked by the staging of the model photos. he's not picturing it on you, with your hair/makeup/shoes/beautiful face, etc. he sees it like it is - a model that looks like an 18-year-old jennifer lopez, laying back on some victorian cushions and standing in front of a french-bedroom-like damask wallpaper. that's not to say that the model photos aren't lovely - but can you see how that setting might influence how he feels about the dress? do you think it would be different if, say, the photos of the model were in a meadow with wildflowers?

    i think YOU need to feel beautiful about what you are wearing. if his comments make you feel less beautiful in the dress, then consider getting another. but if you put it on and still feel like the gem that you are (and that your FI is lucky to have), then this dress is still the one for you.

    Attachments

    1. I showed my Fiancé my wedding dress :o\ uh oh.. :  wedding showing the dress fiance saw the dress wedding dress selling the dress Img 81509_priscilla22.jpg (83.1 KB, 33 downloads) 1 year old
    2. I showed my Fiancé my wedding dress :o\ uh oh.. :  wedding showing the dress fiance saw the dress wedding dress selling the dress Img 81509_priscilla.jpg (45.1 KB, 21 downloads) 1 year old
     
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    Newport Nuptials    Fall 2010   Rhode Island / Massachusetts

    I agree with Mrsbear, my future brother in law has seen my sisters dress, but he says he doesnt even rememebr what it looked like, and it will look different on you than the model. If you and your mother love it. Stick with it, I bet he'll love it to, because you'll be wearing it, not the model!

     also, I am absolutely in love with your dress, who is the designer?

     
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    Ferris Wheel    10/24/09   New Orleans, LA

    He will feel differently when he sees YOU in the dress!

     
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    ZoeKat    July 2010  

    If YOU still love it, maybe you should still wear it.  August 2010 is a long time away and he might not even remember it anymore.  I know my FI wouldn't.  I showed him pictures of myself wearing my top 2 dresses.  I'm confident that most dresses look the same to him and he won't remember it.

     
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    chicagobride092010    January 2010   Canada

    My fiance went dress shopping with me, so he's seen me in everything.  Dresses that looked good on the page didn't look good on me, and ones that looked eh on the models looked great on me.  It won't look the same on you as it does on the model.  And "eh, been there, seen that" won't be on his mind when he sees you in the dress.  Most men can't tell lace from beading in a picture in a magazine.  Just remember that not seeing the bride is an antiquated piggish tradition that used to prevent the groom from running away.

     
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    misswright    August 15, 2009   Los Angeles

    Aug 2010 is a long time away, so my bigger concern would be you getting antsy about the dress. Most brides I know go through some second-guessing. But I wouldn't worry at all about your fiance's reaction. I think sometimes guys think they want a strapless so when they see straps they're thrown off ... mine has straps too ... it's amazing and he'll love YOU in it. That's a fact. Since you already ordered it, trying to cancel might be more stressful. I'd just move according to plan!

     
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    teamzeewagen    10/10/2009   Chicago

    I second Miss Burgundy and third Mrs. Bear.  Men, bless their poor stupid souls, just don't know better.  My Darling betrothed made the comment how boring strapless dresses are and how almost no one looks good in them.  Needless to say, I have a strapless dress.  One look at my face and he started backpedaling like he was riding the Tour de France in reverse,  "Um, no, but I meant plain women, not like you, cause well you're gorgeous and, um, see the thing is, um...I'm sorry?" 

    Come wedding day, he will inevitably think I'm perfect, just as your fiance will. The dress is gorgeous, you will be gorgeous in it and he will grin and/or blubber like an idiot.  Go with your dress! 

     
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    ravenleigh23    08/21/10   Port Deposit, MD

    I say you try on some new dresses.  If you still can't find any dress that compares to the original one you picked out then I say you wear that one.  If you find something new that you like better then cancel the other one.  In the end you need to be in the dress that makes you feel gorgeous and I'm sure whatever dress that is you new husband will love.

     
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    nathalietanya      

    First of all, I don't think your dress looks like a nightgown. It's very pretty.

    Secondly, my fiance has seen my dress too, with me in it. It's no big deal. If yours is anything like mine, he won't even really remember the details.

    Attachments

    1. I showed my Fiancé my wedding dress :o\ uh oh.. :  wedding showing the dress fiance saw the dress wedding dress selling the dress Img Shoe.jpg (8.8 KB, 31 downloads) 1 year old
     
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    mvp_bride    July 18, 2009   Austin

    This is why we don't ask for their opinion! When they see it as a purchase, they see it as a regular item with a cost and features, like a car. When they see you in it, suddenly you're HIS BRIDE in THE DRESS and everything changes! He'll feel differently when the day comes, especially with a year to go.

     
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    Futuremrsnash    9-28-09  

    I kind of know how you feel.  I showed my fiance my dress too and he started saying little things that kind of hurt my feelings.  SOME men just don't understand any of womens clothing. I think it is breathtaking! I think on that day by the time you get it on, and are all done up you will be the most gorgeus woman he's ever seen! Just don't show him anymore pictures, not even when it comes in, I bet even if you asked him now he couldn't tell you any detail about it.  I think you should not fret about it, definately keep the dress, you know it's the one! When it comes in and you try it on again your feelings will be re confirmed, I promise!  Everything will work out for you. Congratulations!!

     
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    Miss Tine       Albany, NY

    That dress is absolutely gorgeous! You should keep it. Dont worry, he will love you in it! Sometimes men judge the dress by the model wearing it, like how her hair is or something silly like that. When he sees the love of his life in that dress he will love it just as much as you do. Congratulations and best of luck with your marriage.

     
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    alundberg    February 13, 2010  

    LOVE your dress!!! It is absolutely beautiful and I agree with the above posts. Guys don't pick up on all the details, and often times have difficulty conceptualizing the dress, on you, with shoes, hair, makeup, etc. I say, stay with the dress, ignore his reaction (I know it can be tough!) and stick with your gut. You are going to make a beautiful bride!!!! :)

     
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    coralray24    09/26/2009   Tucson, AZ

    Seeing your dress on a model and seeing it on you, in full wedding day glory, is completely different. Since you love it, and you know what it looks good on you...stay with it...he will love it too!

     
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    dolphin    May 15, 2010   Gainesville, FL

    This dress is seriously Gorgeous! It is always hard for men to imagine something from a picture on you. I'm sure it looks fantastic on you, if you love it, then keep it...or when it comes in..try it on for him and then show him. If he still feels the same way then sell it and look for another dress. My Fiancee saw tons of pictures of wedding dresses and could never imagine me in one. THey just don't see the whole picture sometimes. Go with your guy. Your dress is amazing!

     
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    Soon2BeMrsC    March 20, 2010   Wine Country

    This is totally something that would happen to me. I also agree with PPs.  My FI would look at the weird hair or makeup of the girl in the photo and somehow that would translate to the dress being ugly.   I finally had to cover up the heads of the models when showing my FI dresses in magazines. 

    If you love it, wear it.  He will love it because you are in it.  Besides, dresses always look different in person anyway.

    And for what it is worth, I think it is gorgeous, too.

     
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    b2bcymbaline      

    I showed my fiance my dress...all the choices for my dress and he hated every single one of them. Can't say it didn't suck, but I don't care. I'm going to wear it anyway. You should wear what you want too He's still going to think you look stunning on your big day once he sees you, even if he hates the dress in the picture.  I found that what helped my fiance "accept it" is showing him a youtube of it on the runway.  Hope this helps!

     

    ------------------------------------

    We love watching Ulli Lommel's horror flicks together on our movie nights.

     

     

     
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    RoddyBride09    September 5, 2009   Bethlehem, PA

    If you still want the dress and love it on you then keep it. Clothing rarely looks the same on two different people because we have all different bodies and we just wear things differently. AND guys don't really understand that at all. It really is the same concept as the clothing doesn't look good on the hanger but can look amazing on. Think of it that way.

    Anyway, I showed my FI the dress that I was going to buy and showed a picture of a bride that was wearing it the way I would and he did not like it at all but when he saw the model wearing it, he liked the dress. When he expressed his dislike for the dress I was upset because it was what I wanted. Well I stayed with the dress. I love the way it looked and felt so it's all mine. I am sure you groom will be absolutely in awe when he sees you in the dress and may not even recognize it at all.

     
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    ariellebride    9/5/10   Boston MA

    What do guys know. If you love your dress and feel beautiful and confident in it, then he is going to think the same when you walk down the aisle. If you love your dress than don't worry about it! By the way it looks nothing like a nightgown.

     
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    alishaneva    May 2011   Lancaster, PA

    If you love your dress (your mom cried in it - so we know she does!) then don't worry about his poo-pooing ... the thing is - dresses look a whole lot different online on a model than they do when they're on the bride and usually - the bride looks more amazing - because she glows in that dress. And I'm willing to bet you glow in your dress!!

     
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    HugsKissesLadyBugsBride       Boston, MA

    The dress is gorgeous and he will forget he ever saw a picture of it whenever he sees you in it for the first time! He's a boy!! He wont really remember every detail from a picture, and he was probably just talking without thinking when he said it looked like a nightgown!!! :)

     
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    stluciabeachbride    3/19/10   Seattle, WA

    In my opinion, keep the dress.  You love it and its gorgeous.  But if you think you'll be thinking about how he thinks about it all day, then you may want to consider changing it.  Whatever makes you happiest. 

    I agree with others, often our men just don't know anything about what is fashionable or what looks good.  My fiance was adamant that he didnt like ruching and only wanted me to wear a simple dress that had straight-lines and was smooth, except for the all lace dress he said he liked (that didnt fit the mold either).  Well I brought him shopping with me to see them on, in the end he loved the ruching and hated the straight-lined smooth dresses.  Of course he was drawn to the ruching because how tiny it makes my waist look.  I think as long as I looked good in the dress he wouldnt have cared at all about what the details were or what material, etc.  They change their mines often.  He'll probably love your dress on you that day.   

     

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