Post # 1
I found a gem of an article and wanted to share it with you:
The sentiment that really struck SO and I was that in the past, people got married and become a family even when times were hard. For example, my grandparents started out in a trailer, but eventually bulit their dream home together! They are still married and in love fifty years later.
Our generation today seems to place more value on achieving milestones (new car, new home, etc.) before committing to marriage…like marriage is a “capstone” to adulthood, not a foundation…but does it HAVE to be that way? We don’t think so. We think we can get married, be a family, and support each other through good times and bad. We won’t wait for every single thing to be 100% “set” in our lives. If we waited for that, there’s a chance we’d never get around to getting married!
Enjoy the article!
Post # 2
Thank you very much for the article, I really loved it and there were some really great takeaway sentences in it. But I also really love something you said too: like marriage is a “capstone” to adulthood, not a foundation.
This is often how I feel when other Bees suggest that a younger Bee wait to get married, wait until he is finished grad school, or until you have travelled more or, or, or – we should be going through these things together! Not as separate entities. What’s the point of being married if you waited until all the hard stuff was over? To my mind the best way to grow together is to tackle things as one and marriage is the best way to bind people together.
Post # 3
Great article! My fiance and I are both in grad school. He’s getting his phd in math and proposed a year after being together. we both have jobs and are looking forward to experiencing everything as husband and wife. Sometimes its more beautiful to grow together than to wait till we have the perfect job or perfect house 🙂
Post # 4
- Wedding: June 2015 - Backyard
Actually that’s a pretty sweet article, thanks for sharing.. 🙂
Post # 5
Everdeen: Totally agree! ‘Wait until you’re older, wait until you have experienced more, wait until you have finished your education, wait until you have $___ in savings…”
Thank you OP for sharing! I am studying my grad degree, but FI hasn’t gone to university or TAFE, while we are waiting until I finish my graduate degree before getting married, if FI decides to pursue studies in the next few years we certainly won’t be waiting until he finishes before getting married! Thank you for pointing out a couple can still do well facing these challenges together as a married couple, not just do well waiting until the challenges are past before getting married!
Post # 6
- Wedding: April 2016 - Gorse Hill, Surrey, UK
Thanks for sharing, I already agree with this but it’s nice to see it written down so well by someone else who gets it 🙂
Post # 7
Such a great article and theres heaps on that site too. Thanks for sharing and I’m glad it got you guys a step closer! 🙂
Post # 8
This was actually a great read.
But… We’re waiting for a point where we can actually live together. I’m in grad school, he has a job out of state, and once I get out of grad school we’ll move to the same town and get married. It’s a big “requirement” for us to be able to actually live together when we get married. Does that mean we’re going against the article? Because I’m not sure…
I guess my difference with that is yes, my grandparents were able to get married despite anything that could have held them back. But my grandparents also lived in the same town, whereas my FI and I live in different towns. Lots to think about.
Post # 9
Heya Starshollow, I’ve read this article before and it’s so true! Happy that your engagement is coming sooner than expected 🙂
Post # 10
Apple_Blossom: I don’t think that goes against the sentiment of the article – decide what’s important to you and go for it, don’t let arbitrary, unpredictable milestones get in the way.
Post # 11
As long as you are financially independent and can support yourselves, I see no point in waiting. My husband was unemployed even we got engaged and again when we got married…we could afford to do everything we wanted, including buying a ring we loved despite the fact he wasn’t working, so we decided not to wait. If we were living at home and bumming off our parents instead though we never would have considered getting engaged or married at that time.
Post # 12
Great article! SO and I met each other after we’d both already finished college, found financial independence and gained employment in our respective fields, but we are still a long way off from being ready for kids and buying our first house. I’m thrilled with the idea that we’ll get to figure everything out together from here on out, milestones and everyday adventures alike!