I soooo want to elope!! sorta long-ish and mostly a vent lol

posted 3 years ago in Elopement
Post # 3
Member
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I originally wanted to have a small intimate DW. DH wanted his family to be able to attend. It’s hilarious because when we did have our wedding, most of his family DID NOT show up and the family that did left within the first hour. If I could have done it all over again I would have had a nice DW (which would have included the honeymoon so that would have been nice because we have NEVER taken a trip together and we have been together 5 1/2 years), came back and had a nice restaurant reception with about 60 guests (which is all we had that showed up at the wedding anyway). I spent 7K on my wedding when I could have spent only 5K for the wedding, honeymoon and the restaurant reception I wanted 🙁 We still have yet to go on our honeymoon because guess what? We ran out of money paying for the stupid wedding.

 

Post # 4
Member
3960 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

Could you elope and have a reception or some sort of celebration of your marriage later?  There may be less expensive venues in your area – no matter which way you go – off season perhaps?  

Post # 5
Member
3249 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@JerNCher: 

VENUES: Buy out a restaurant.  You don’t get charged for the use of the space, you just have to spend a minimum amount on food and drinks – so you get STUFF for your money. Plus no rentals of tables/chairs/forks/etc.  Our minimum spend for an 80 seat restaurant is $3000 on a Saturday night.

Or just elope.

Post # 6
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

I’m totally with you. What does your FI want? My BF is insisting on having everything be as traditional as possible and he thinks I’m crazy for wanting to elope and not have every single member of our huge families present. I told him let’s just skip the engagement part and start planning to elope, he’s saving for what he thinks is my dream e ring. Whatever we end up doing will have to be sort of compromise, and I was honestly surprised as how much he wants a big fairytale wedding. Definitely find out what your FI wants since it’s his wedding too. If you’re both in agreement, just elope. Your families will get over it and you won’t have any regret 🙂

Post # 7
Member
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

I think men want a traditional wedding just because that is what they are used to seeing. But guests just want to show up, eat, drink and just support you and they can do that at a restaurant. You wont have to worry about silly things like favors, centerpieces or any decor if you find a nice enough restaurant.

Post # 8
Member
10 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I am completely with you and it is funny that what you are going through sounds exactly what i am too. When we originally got engaged, we had the traditionally, invite all the family, idea in our mind. my future husband comes from a large italian family and our guest list was up to 75, and this didnt even include our friends! after our $10k quote for our wedding, we determined we were settling and many of the things that were important to us to have for our wedding were not going to be possible due to the already high costs. I’m With you, the most important thing is being able to marry my best friend and starting our life on a positive note, not massive amounts of debt. We told our parents and siblings together and told them that we had changed our minds. My mom was thrilled with the idea that we were being responsible. His parents were not so happy at first but have now come around to the idea and want us to be happy because like they say ‘it is your day”. The only piece of advise i can give you is make sure you are both on the same page, and approach your families as a united front. i personally don’t recommend not telling your parents at least. Family is important, certainly your parents.i wish you all the best in your planning.

by the way, we are now able to have our destination wedding to charleston,sc with a guest count of 8, a nice restaurant reception, and the still have the honeymoon of our dreams. Please feel free to get in touch with me via PM if you need any help, advice or just need someone to talk to about the wedding planning 🙂 we have been engaged for 1 year and this decision we made 3 months ago was def. the best!

Post # 11
Member
2962 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@JerNCher:  its an abbreviation for fiance “DH” is an abbreviation for dear husband. “FFIL” is future father in law and “FIL” is father in law. MIL is mother in law and FMIL is future mother in law. You will get used to it the longer you’re on the Bee

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