- Blog
- Bios
- Boards
- Classifieds
- DIY
- Gallery
- Vendor Reviews
- Shop Weddingbee
Weddingbee boards
You were an absolutely BEAUTIFUL bride!! I love the sash on your dress! I read your original post and was absolutely shocked about your dad's behavior! I'm SOOO SORRY! In time, the pain will subside, but it is not fair that what was supposed to be one of your happiest days was such a sad one for you! It would be wonderful if on your year anniversary, you could have some kind of big party/celebration, which could maybe help you get over some of your sadness/disappontment. I'm so glad your family and friends were there for you! (HUGS)
You did look beautiful, and you can't tell the anguish you feel in the pics. Hopefully, you will be able to let the anger aside and hopefully then you will be able to remember more of the wedding. At least you will have the pics to remember, and years down the road hopefully they will bring you the happiness you didn't have on your wedding day
I'm so sorry. Honestly, I'm all for the 'the worse the wedding, the better the marriage' like Charlotte from Sex and the City says. It being the happiest day of your live just seems like bunk to me, so that's the happiest day and the rest of your life is all downhill? That's just depressing.
I'm so glad that your family and friends pulled together to support you during the difficult time. Now things can only get better!
I'm SO SO SORRY. Maybe you and your husband can go somewhere special, just the two of you, and repeat your vows to e/o? It might help it seem more real and give you a memory everything you promised e/o on your wedding day. Hang in there.
@ bridesmomma & Amani, I think I am going to talk to my husband about redoing our vows. I don't know how he'll feel about it, but maybe it's something to consider. One of the first things I said to him after the wedding was that we should have done it smaller, but I think it was because I was so not into the day.
I keep talking to my husband about it, he doesn't really know what to do, he's being as supportive as he can, but when I start thinking about it all, my mood is destroyed. I kinda feel like I just don't know what to do!
Funny thing is- I am starting my masters in marriage and family counseling in one month. Ha.
I agree with Amani. Get a few of your very closest friends (the people you can really really count on) and a meaningful officiant (priest, friend, brother, etc), find a quiet outdoor site with no one around, and repeat your vows. Make sure you have something wonderful to remember.
When my mom talks about her own wedding day there are several things that didn't go well. It's not always the happiest day of someone's life like everyone says it should be. I am a firm believer that a wedding is just a day... that the marriage is what you're celebrating and that has just begun. You have a lifetime of good memories to make with your husband, so get started! :)
On the bright side, the pictures you posted here are really beautiful. Most weddings don't go as planned and there is always family drama. I am sorry that you are disappointed. However, you are married to the man of your dreams (presumably). You have to let this bitterness go and focus on the positive!
I am so sorry that your wedding day went awry, but you look gorgeous in your pictures. Congratulations on what I hope will be a very happy marriage!
I just want to say thank you for posting how you really feel. Sometimes things aren't a fairy tale and that's okay. Those things should be shared too. You look beautiful though. I'm sorry for what you went through. Try to look ahead.
Your wedding isn't the happiest day of your life. Too much pressure is put on it! I spent my wedding day MENDING my gown after picking it up from the cleaners and getting sick I was so nervous and almost passing out while twisting around to do my hair. DH and I were running around the room in our underwear when the photographer showed up- she was early, we were late- and he ended up helping me into my dress! (He wasn't suposed to see me until he helped me out of the car at the Chapel). It was insane!
At least you had family and friends there, you are so lucky. Don't worry if things didn't go exactly right- this is life, after all! Think of all you survived with your father and everything, and don't worry. Your groom looks awesome, and life is about a constant adaptation, not "one great day" and then you feel happy forever- that would be impossible.
I think you should give it some time. DH and I actually made a list of all the things that went "wrong" on our wedding day. I don't know what happened to that list, and I've forgotten most of what was on it. By not constantly dwelling on it, all those details have faded and I only remember the big stuff now. Give yourself time to "grieve" over what was done/not done and then move on. In a year reconsider how you feel, it'll be less new then and won't sting as much.
From a fellow bride with a less than "best-day-of-my-life" HUGS!!
I'm sorry it was so bad and there isn't much that can change it. You really do need to come to terms though with your wedding. No wedding is perfect and while your wedding sounds like it was farther from perfect than most, you still got married to your husband that loves you and supports you. Try to like MS said, make a list and forget about it.
Just today, my friend said, "the three biggest days in your life are your birth, your wedding and your death, and you only remember one of them."
I didn't know what to say to her! I'd like there to be other great days in my life, and to remember those!
Chin up, darling. Everyone else being horrible/stupid is not your fault, and while your day was not what you expected/wanted, it did what it said on the tin.
You got your fella!
Did you get a honeymoon to escape the asylum that followed?
Oh darling, you were so beautiful :)
It may sound cliche but the most important thing is that you married your guy. The flowers, your father, the money...in the end none of it matters. The fact is, you looked beautiful, your FI handsome as can be and you made it through.
I know this isn't what you want to hear but you married your man and that's the most important part!
Please try not to think about all the things that went wrong...I've been guilty of it too but beyond your father and step father fighting try not to worry about it.
If you DH and you still want to resay your vows again in 6 months then plan a small ceremony/re-saying of your vows for your 1 year anniversary
I just read the post about your Father and am so sad. How DARE he be so selfish! It doesn't matter if you sent a text that upset him, or forgot to tell him the plan... he should have A) Put down the whiskey for a day and B) had his daughter's best interests at heart.
That said, I think after some time passes, all of the little things that didn't happen (and yes, they are all little compared to marrying the man of your dreams), will fade away and you will be left knowing that you are in a wonderful marriage.
I agree that your honestly is very refreshing! I truly wish you the best. It's a tough situation to be in. Ugh.
I am sorry-but you are very beautiful in your photos, you made it through it, and you are married!!! I wish you and your husband the longest and happiest of marriages!! You both deserve it!! Save up for a wonderful first anniversary trip-something great to look forward to and a happy occasion to remember for always!!
Thank you all for your support. I know it's really going to be like a grieving process, like MightySapphire said. Yesterday my brother told me he has not talked to our dad either (my brother took him to the ground to deter him from hitting my stepdad so my father probably thinks my brother "disrespected him too) and that "you'd think that because violence and alcohol feul the demise of his family. he'd have learned something." It makes me feel good to know so many people are supporting me, even you guys!
I think I got myself so worked up for the "wedding of my dreams" that it completely floored me when it didn't happen. I also think I got so worked up because of all the time I spent on wedding websites, which was HOURS every week.
I know the most important thing is that I am married to my husband, but I made the wedding into something it shouldn't have been maybe. In 30 years, I will still have my best friend and I am trying to think about how that is the most important part of the entire thing.
I am definitely considering a vow renewal, something very very private and special.
You must log in to post.
| Visit our sister sites | eHarmony Online Dating |
eHarmony Advice Dating Advice |
Project Wedding Wedding Songs |
JustMommies Pregnancy Calendar |
Create the honeymoon of your dreams.
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
| Lyndzo | 46 |
| Brielle | 26 |
| funkymunky85 | 26 |
| AshleyR83 | 24 |
| rebwana | 24 |
| mypinkshoes | 23 |
| his chippymunk | 23 |
| Ms. Salamander | 23 |
| beargoose | 22 |
| kat2014 | 22 |
| User | Posts Today |
|---|---|
 SpecialSundae |
6 |
| pengoala | 5 |
| Natalieh86 | 4 |
| kat2014 | 4 |
| Hippos | 3 |
| Ms. Salamander | 3 |
| Eva Peron | 2 |
| beargoose | 2 |
| les105 | 2 |
| mypinkshoes | 2 |
Sort of is an understatement.
1.) My father almost was arrested at the rehearsal, trying to jump my stepfather, causing a scene, almost ruining a nearby wedding. More info on that here:
http://boards.weddingbee.com/topic/my-father-was-almost-arrested-at-my-rehearsal-then-told-me-to-rot-in-hell
That was the worst of it. It was a very traumatizing thing for me, and then to be thrown into a celebration that's the-happiest-day-of-my-life (!!!) was just overwhelming. I sobbed all night. I sobbed all morning. I sobbed all the way through my hair appointment, I sobbed all the way back to the wedding. A BM gave me a Xanax, which helped. She came prepared for sure. I was just SO INCREDIBLY SAD on my wedding day. I got made up, got dressed and felt better though. Because I looked pretty.
2.) Since I was not paying attention to details, due to my mind wandering about the sitaution with ym father, several things did not get done. I went to my hair appointment and didn't give anyone any direction while I was gone so:
- favor cards (donation cards) were not placed on the tables (a great aunt passed these out during the reception and the DJ made an annoucenment about it, which no one paid attention to)
- Mad Libs were not placed on the tables (the same great aunt passed these out too)
- Kids favors were not placed on the tables
- My family cut up the tulle I bought and made pew bows (which I HATE), instead of draping it from teh shepherds hooks
- The archway didn't get decorated at all. I later saw the archway decorations hanging from a hook on the wall.
- Nobody had bout's or corsages on. We had a large WP (12 guys) and several sets of grandparents. I made the bouts months beforehand and had them in a (open) box on the gift table. Someone closed the box up without looking inside it and put it away before the wedding, so GM's, parents, officant, grandparents, NO ONE has bouts on.
- Due to those things not getting done, the photographer couldn't take all the pictures I wanted her to. Sidenote- I look very happy in the prof pics, which I plan on posting when I get the CD. They turned out so amazing that I can't believe I was able to fake it.
- A guest stole a centerpeice. I made sure to mention it in the thank you card though- "We hope you have a good summer and enjoy the vase and flowers!"
- A candle wasn't placed on our memorial table for our good friend who passed away last summer (he was supposed to be the Best Man)
There's more things that went wrong. I can't think of them all off the top of my head. I am just SO FED UP with weddings. I know it's because mine was all wrong. It was a horribly SAD day. I feel so abandoned by my father and he completely ruined everything. I didn't want to get married that day, I remember thinking all day "Ughh I just want to leave and wear sweats and watch TV." It was absoluetly not the best day ot my life, which I was pretty much banking on, like all of us are/were. I avoided the reception as much as possible so I didn't have to talk to many people. It was just a complete disaster in my eyes.
The best parts of it- Seeing my family and friends bind together to support me (AMAZING- I felt so loved by then, but it didn't negate the incident that happened), and marrying my husband. Although- It's like it isn't real. I feel like I was waiting for this amazing moment where I could feel like we were joined forever, and I barely remember the ceremony. I don't remember "the moment" of being married, I don't remember the kiss, I don't remember walking down the aisle with my new husband. So we're living together, and we have rings on our fingers, and apparently my last name is changed (so says the social security office) but it doesn't feel real.
I am so angry.
Attachments