i sorta feel bad to change my last name…anyone else?

posted 3 years ago in Traditions
Post # 3
Member
11002 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2009

@BeeG35:  Did your mother change her name when she married your dad?  If so, I think your parents will completely understand.

Also, depending upon what state you live in, you may want to consider making your maiden name your new middle name so that you can continue to use it.  I became “First Maiden Hislast,” and I really love my new name.

Post # 4
Member
133 posts
Blushing bee

I am going through the same thing! Our wedding is two weeks from today! I am positive I want to take his name, but since I have no brothers or male cousins to continue the name I feel guilty like I’m abandoning it. His family is also super large and close and I feel weird just changing my name to theirs. Idk what’s wrong with me?! I’ve tried calling myself by my new name and it feels so crazy to say!!

Post # 5
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

I feel the same way. It’s been my name for 25 years! It will be a weird adjustment, especially since I’ll be getting a very Asian last name when I’m extremely white. I think I’ll be confusing a lot of people over email soon at work haha. 

Post # 6
Member
5295 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: April 2013

@Pinkmoon:  LOL! I know how you feel!! I now have an extremely brown last name but I’m very white. I have yet to change my name fully though cause frankly I’m just lazy lol I have only just did my drivers license and health card

Post # 7
Member
473 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@Pinkmoon:  Donna Chang?

 

 

(Please watch Seinfeld…. please watch Seinfeld)

Post # 8
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

@MeghN:  Nooo sorry, I’ve never watched it! 

Post # 9
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@Pinkmoon:  get ready for a lot of, “oh…YOU’RE Pink Moon? Uhhh sorry, I imagined you differently.”

My old coworker was white with an asian last name, and she experienced this constantly. She’d sometimes retort, “Oh yeah? How did you imagine me?” or even better, “Yeah, I imagined you differently too. I thought you would be _______” She once told one client that she imagined him taller and huskier, LOL. 

Post # 10
Member
10748 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: February 2014

@letigre:  Hahaha that reminds me… I have a friend at work with a very Asian first and last name, but she actually grew up in Quebec and speaks fluent French and English. She gets people on the phone all the time who assume she can barely speak English, so she messes with them sometimes and puts on a real thick Asian accent. Her boyfriend is white so if they get married and she takes his name, that’ll probably cut down. 

Post # 11
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

I am changing my last name. I do feel a little bit weird about it all, seeming it has been my identity for so long. And, my current last name is super awesome for the work related field I am in. As for my family, I, unfortunately am not that attached to them. And in some ways I welcome the detachment from them. But I will miss my last name. I know though, that it will make my FI proud to have me take on his name. And that makes me happy. For me, it signifies a step I am taking in my life. And that is important to me. I wouldn’t worry about appologizing to your family. They already understand!

Post # 12
Member
1311 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 1994

@MeghN:  I’ve seen that episode!

Post # 13
Member
8282 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: July 2012

Nope. Not at all. Mrs. My-maiden-name is my mother, not me in my opinion. I hated my last name so it didn’t bother me. 

Post # 14
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@BeeG35:  I did! I was SO excited to get married and change my (AWFUL) maiden name!

Then I actually changed it, and I’m a little sad! People ask me what my name is, and I have to stop and think about it!

Post # 15
Member
3442 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: July 2013

Yes, it was a very difficult adjustment for me. I grew up with just my single dad who has always been my best friend, & getting rid of my last name made me shed quite a few tears. It didn’t help that my maiden name was really beautiful sounding with my first name, & my married name is now a really hilarious word lol.

Oh well, I took his last name & now I’mg glad I did. Really, isn’t sharing a family name what distinguishes you as married to the public eye (aside from the title of husband & wife)?

My new name is sort of funny but I’ve mostly gotten over it & now just kind of laugh it off.

Post # 16
Member
974 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@BeeG35:  Me too! 

My mom loves to stir up shit and she brought it up to me one day then purposely repeated herself to my dad when he came around. The pain on his face is breaking my heart! He says he thinks I should hyphenate but having a hyphenated name would annoy me. My Mom changed her name for him, so he knows it’s logical he’s just cliiinnnggging on. 

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