I still carry a torch for an old flame

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
3570 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

You only live once!  If you never try to contact him, you will always wonder.  If you do contact him and get a response that you don’t like, you will never have to see him again, and at least you got closure.

Post # 4
2136 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

How long has it been? Sometimes you can have feelings for who a person used to be, but over the course of a couple of years they can be completely different. He may be a stranger now, or maybe if it’s in the cards he’ll be the same. Can you start a friendship with him? I would NOT look for anything romantic from this guy because you could be painting a picture of him in your mind/memories that isn’t the real him. You could end up powerfully disappointed. If I were you, I’d just try to get in touch again.

Post # 5
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

I think you should take the chance and contact him. Realistically, you have nothing left to lose, right?

If you don’t contact him, there’s practically no chance of you ever getting back together with him. If he rejects you, at least you will have closure and you won’t regret not contacting him.

You were very young.. I don’t think you did anything wrong per se. Most people aren’t ready to settle down in college. He probably wasn’t either.

I guess now you just have to decide how to do it. Do you play it cool (but it might be tough to play it cool if he lives in a different town now.. not like you can say “hey, let’s go for coffee!”), or do you spill it all out and hope he’s not like wtf?


Post # 6
1007 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

I don’t know you and don’t know him, but is it possible that you’re putting him on a pedestal in your head?  He may have been better than your other relationships, but that doesn’t mean he’s the only right person out there and your regret at ending the relationship may be making you remember him as a much better person than he was.  

Post # 7
1158 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2014

@SouthernBelAir:  don’t avoid contacting him just because you feel that he has his life “put together” and you are not on par. If you regretted it back in 2010, and still aren’t over it, definitely contact him and give it another shot!!! If it doesn’t work this time, then you can can have peace of mind knowing that you guys are meant to be. Good luck!!!

Post # 9
279 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2013

@kgirl91:  +1

Also, OP, you said that you dumped him. Before you contact him think back and remember why you did this. If it was for a stupid reason then why not at least strike up a conversation with him and try to become friends again.

I don’t advise contacting him looking for love from the start.

Post # 12
1773 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Contact him!!!!! That’s the only way your questions will be answered!

Post # 13
339 posts
Helper bee

I think you should go for it and contact him. You only live once and I’m a firm believer in having no regrets in life. 

You never know, this may be what fate had in mind for you 😉

Post # 14
11668 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

Go for it! You have nothing t lose!

Post # 15
1778 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I’d contact him. Like others have said, if he’s not interested then you can at least have the closure of knowing you gave it a shot. You won’t be wondering “what if?”

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