I stuffed all my envelopes and forgot to put "adult reception"

posted 3 years ago in Paper
  • poll: Do I have to reprint?
    Yup! : (5 votes)
    9 %
    They'll get the hint with the envelopes : (37 votes)
    70 %
    Nope, (explain below please!) : (11 votes)
    21 %
  • Post # 3
    Member
    11740 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    I think it’s actually rude to write “no kids” on an invitation, because the point of the invitation is to express who is invited, not who is not.  If guests respond with acceptances from their children, you should simply call them and explain that the invitation was addressed only to the recepients and that, unfortunately, you cannot include their children at this time.

    Post # 4
    Member
    688 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: September 2013

    I agree that it’s rude to specifically say no kids on the invitation.  I would address it to specific adults only and on your wedding website I would include some info saying no kids.

    Post # 5
    Member
    42546 posts
    Honey Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @abbie017:  The pp has given you the correct response. You don’t send an invitation to say who is not invited.

    The only ones who are invited are the ones with their name on the envelope.

    Like most brides, you may have to make some phone calls to those who write in extra guests.

    Post # 6
    Member
    11668 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    The way the invitations addressed is enough. I think it’s rude to call out people who aren’t invited, and it’s also rude to assume your guests don’t know that who is on the envelope is who is invited.

     

    Post # 7
    Member
    10219 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: December 2012

    Etiquette Snob here.. lol

    As mentioned by @abbie017:  above it is considered RUDE to add a whole bunch of not required info to your Wedding Invitation (BTW… your pics above don’t show your Invite, just 2 pics of your Insert Card).

    So saying “No Kids” is truly inappropriate.

    The best you could do is to add a line “Adult Reception to follow” and even that is border-line

    This is precisely WHY Invites for a Wedding are usually more formal and double-enveloped… so the mailing address info and the actual Invitation addressed info can be seperate and clear to the Guests.

    Ie… Outside Envelope = Mr & Mrs John Doe & Family

    Inside Envelope = John, Jane & John Jr

    (Children Sally & Bob aren’t shown because they are under the age that the Couple wishes to invite… ie.  John Jr is 16, Sally is 12, and Bob is 7)

    Not sure how you are going to correct this issue now, with the Invites Printed, and the Envelopes completed.

    You may have no other choice than to field phone calls from inquiring Guests (the polite ones) and do follow ups with those who mark down their kids on the reply (the impolite ones)

    *sigh* at least you have RSVP Cards with a line for names.

    Sorry, I don’t have any better news for you… sadly you didn’t take enough time to do your research upfront and find out how to circumvent some of these issues by reading up on appropriate Wedding Invite Etiquette before hand.

    Lets just hope this doesn’t turn into a huge headache (( HUGS ))

     

    Post # 8
    Member
    5351 posts
    Bee Keeper
    • Wedding: October 2009

    The envelopes being addressed only to the adults is not a clear message to say “adults only,” (it may be to us, but to most guests they won’t interpet it that way,) however, you listed a wedding website, so I would write on your website that it is adults only. Also, you will still have some people who don’t see it, so be prepared to make personal phone calls to those who invite extra guests.  

     

    Post # 10
    Member
    2209 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: May 2014

    @smurphy0806:  Agree with PPs.  No need to call attention to who isn’t invited; the fact that the invites are only addressed to adults should be clue enough.

    If you’re making a seating chart, you’ll need to ask the name of your cousin’s guest.  If she gives you the kid’s name, then you can give her the DL on the no kids policy.

    Also, you guys have a bitchin’ outlet mall over in Pleasant Prairie.  The one time I’ve been to it was in between the ceremony and reception for someone’s wedding, but I picked up some good stuff.

    Post # 11
    Member
    6900 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I agree with the  pp that the words  “adult reception” do not belong on the invitation.  If someone has the nerve to RSVP for more than the number of invited guests, you can deal with them on a one to one basis.  You just say, I’m so sorry for any confusion, but we are not able to include children.  If you are able, suggest child care alternatives.

    However it is ALSO considered  rude to include registry information on the invitation itself, so I’d reprint for that reason.

    Post # 12
    Member
    10748 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: February 2014

    Hopefully the way they’re addresed is enough for most people. For any that you’re worried about, I’d pull the RSVP cards back out and write on your “number attending” line something like this… __/2

    Post # 13
    Member
    11740 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: November 1999

    @smurphy0806:  Then you call her up and say, “Hi, Cousin!  There must have been some miscommunication, but our wedding invitiation was only addressed to you and your guest/boyfriend.  We can’t accomodate a young child, and hope this doesn’t inconvenience you too much!”

    In all fairness, I doubt she’d try to bring a three year old in place of a date – “and Guest” clearly implies a date, not a child.

    Post # 14
    Member
    3813 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    @abbie017:  +1

    Also I think it’s perfectly fine to write “adults only reception” on your wedding website, although from my own experience, not everyone looks at the website.

    Post # 15
    Member
    11300 posts
    Sugar Beekeeper
    • Wedding: August 2013

    Unfortunately, not everyone “gets” that whole “the name(s) on the envelope is who is invited” thing. Nor the “___ of _x_ attending.” My uncle, whose invitation was addressed ONLY to him and specified that ONE person was invited, STILL RSVP’d via Facebook (because it was past the deadline and I messaged him about it) for him +1 (to be determined, even), and sent his card back with “Uncle’s Name + guest” and ignored that whole “___ of _1_ attending” thing. I immediately told him NO, and he was like, “I guess that’s fine.”

    Post # 16
    Member
    6900 posts
    Busy Beekeeper

    I also doubt the cousin would try to bring the 3 yo instead of the SO, however, this is just another good reason etiquette frowns on the expression “and guest.”  One is supposed to find out the name of the anticipated guest  and include it.

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