(Closed) I suck at making friends

posted 5 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
14784 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

There are a few bees that live up there, have you tried hooking up with any of them?

Where are you at in ND, I know the state pretty well as I worked up there for a while.

Post # 4
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

Well for me it’s hit and miss. I can be really open sometimes and I am great at it. But then other times I suck! Your not the only one trust me. If I was close by I would go with u lol plus I love pancakes

Post # 6
Member
2135 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2012

You’re not alone. I know exactly how you feel. I just have kuje 2 close friends (1 of which is 8 hours away!). Its frusterating, I suck at making friends too.

Post # 7
Member
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

I start to play in my phone once I get like that lol. But what I have started to do is talk about T.V everyone look at it and I will start a convo off about my shows and let it go from that

Post # 8
Member
14784 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@cirk:  Yup been there, Spent more time in Bismark though.  Have you thought about starting a meetup?  It could be something easy like just a dinner club or something like that. I am sure that if you started one there would find that there are a lot of others in your area that feel the exact same way.

I know how you feel, once in a while I think that everyone feels that way.  I think that you are hysterical, only wish you lived closer.

Post # 9
Member
6895 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: March 2012

Yep, I feel ya. My job doesn’t involve a lot of interaction with others to be able to make friends that way either, so it’s kind of hit or miss. My one best friend is probably moving an hour away next year after we *just* reunited in the same city for the first time in 4 years. 🙁 Sad.

Post # 11
Member
14784 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

@cirk:  Bee meet up and a meetup.com.  I recently went to a meet up that was all about developing cell phone apps, that was cool, and I went to another that was just a bunch of ladies doing “wine tasting” at different restaurants around town.  Really, they were not wine tasting, it was an excuse to go out and get blitz on wine and different places but I did have a blast and am going again later this month.

You could start a meetup on meetup.com, maybe you could do something similar with cocktails or something else that you are interested in.  People RSVP via the site so you would know if there are people coming.

Post # 13
Member
2193 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

Seems like working with children is our demise!  I taught dance for 15 years and now nanny.  The checker at the grocery would hear my life’s story because I was so grateful just to have some ADULT interaction in my day.

I get sad thinking about my lack of friends too. 🙁  My daughter was born when I was young so I lost most of my HS friends and did not go away to school and working with children limits the friend circle.  I have friends, just not gads of them the way DH does.

We just moved so I have started volunteering with a political campaign, the animal sheltar and am thinking of joining a book club.  I really am forcing myself to make an effort and try.

Post # 15
Member
286 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2012

You aren’t alone!!  I live 200 miles from my hometown, so I know practically no one.  Thought joining a gym would help… nope.  I am a very kind, outgoing person over all, but I have a hard time initiating the first conversation!! 

 

I pretty much spend all my time with my FI, which is fine until I want to go shopping lol. 

Post # 16
Member
3093 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

I can relate.  I have moved a ton in my life.  I always had a couple close friends in high school, even fewer in college, and none after.  Several more moves later and it got pretty dang lonely.

here’s what changed.

 

i joined a meetup group in my area.  it wasn’t very active…it was movie related.  So each time FI and were going to a movie I’d post it up.  For months no one showed but we kept doing it.  Then the group really got going.  The lead stepped down and by that point I had established myself with the group so much that they collectively asked me to lead.  So I did.  It’s almost been a year and we have a solid group of almost 10 people who come on and off regular and about 300 members, so we meet new people all the time.

Also, through the group we met a guy we thought was cool.  He always came alone because his wife wasnt into movies.  we all hung out and eventually we realized me and his wife would be a good match.  We’re both kind of loners, like crafting, like being with people but don’t love or need the constant attention,  we often hang out listening to music and crafting, quietly, and sometimes we’re loud.  

So now FI can hang out with the guy, i can hang out with the wife, and we can double, we also hang out with the guy in the group too.

so now that i have friends i don’t feel so lonely in those places where it is harder for me like grad school and work.  People like me but i keep to myself.  And it feels just fine.  

 

hope this helps in some way.

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