I Suspect FMIL Stole Paperwork For His Name Change

posted 2 years ago in Emotional
Post # 2
Member
130 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Is his name change a matter of public record? There is usually a nominal fee, but you can get another official copy. 

Post # 3
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

He needs to handle this one and get the paper back. He is – or at least, should be – the gatekeeper of all things FMIL-related. (Also, he could probably do his own paperwork? Does he have a disability that prevents him from doing so, or does it just not matter to him the way it does to you?)

 

Post # 4
Member
1136 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: March 2015

WeddingBells2014:  Woah if she did steal it that is actually CRAZY! Eek!

I would go to the registry of births, deaths and marriages (or whatever it’s called in your area) and explain the situation and your time frame – there is pretty much always something they can do to hurry the process along if you’re really stuck. It will likely cost a bit more but probably worth it to not have to deal with crazy FMIL!

Post # 5
Member
13005 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

You can’t just change the name on the marriage licence?  I remember when we were filling that out, it had a field for ‘new last name’ for both people and he could have changed his right there if he wanted same way that most women get their name changed.

Post # 6
Member
7197 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

WeddingBells2014:  This is your fiance’s problem. If he won’t deal with his mother, then he doesn’t get to change his name (at least not this way).

I don’t know the laws where you live, but can’t he just pay a fee and change his name anytime, to whatever he wants to? That might be the path of least resistance, if FMIL is being uncooperative.

Post # 9
Member
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

pinkshoes:  I have read that a man changing his name is SIGNIFICANTLY more complicated than a woman changing her last name. 

Its kind of interesting and also very irritating

Post # 10
Member
290 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

I don’t know where you live at, but I was born under my mothers madien name, because my father wasn’t in the picture, and down the line my mom changed it to a different last name. I recently got married, we didn’t need to show the name change. But if you it is a single must have it or no name change, I’d have your FI request another certified copy. It’s availble to him, but it does cost a fee. 

Post # 12
Member
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

WeddingBells2014:  That is such a bummer 🙁

What country are you in? In the U.S. you can change your name to whatever you want after you get married (IF you’re a woman, thanks a lot sexism) so even if his isn’t changed you can still change your last name to the one you and your husband want. Or you can also wait however long you want (including years!) to do your marital name change and change it after he gets his name sorted out. Just thought that might save you some of your frustrations. 

Post # 13
Member
13005 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

WeddingBells2014:  boo, that stinks.  Sorry, must remember to hide things from crazy mil from now on haha.

a_day_at_the_fair:  I only remember this cause we thought it was weird that new last name field would be on both sides (maybe cause gay marriage is legal in ma?), and asked the lady at town hall why that would be there, and she said if he wanted to change his name, he could too and we joked about making up a new name.  And she said that if we wanted a new family name and to both change it, that was perfectly fine.

Post # 14
Member
1108 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

If you already have current (not expired) passports, you have to send in your current passport and they add an ammendment on one of the pages.  Then, on the inside front of your passport, they stamp that it’s ammended and to check the page number where they type in that your last name is changed.  It takes a shorter amount of time to get the passport back.  Until your passport expires, your maiden name will be on the passport and there will be an “ammended page” which states your married name.  You don’t get a new passport.  My SIL just went through this.   She was pissed to see that she didn’t get a new passport with her new name on it.  She went on a mini-tirade that it still had her maiden name and just a page stating that her name was changed and what an inconvenience to her and customs agents.   (First world problems)<br /><br />i would suggest that your FI go to City Hall in person to get his name change certificate.  It always takes longer via mail.  I know that it can take several weeks if ordered on-line or via mail but, in person, you can get birth/death/name change certificates same day.  But, your FI has to be the one who goes as he will need to provide ID. 

Post # 15
Member
1236 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2014 - San Francisco, CA

pinkshoes:  I actually know folks who have gone the “make up a new name” route – specifically, a gay couple who are friends of DH and I. I’m shocked that men can’t just change their names as easily as women in other places, but I do live in a progressive area …

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