i swear my fiance makes up in his head that im "miserable"

posted 2 years ago in Relationships
Post # 2
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee

Yes.

Post # 3
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

courtneymarie318: How strange. Have you asked him what gives him the impression that you’re upset? And why he retreats to the garage to drink alone instead of spend time with you? Sounds like something is going on and he’s projecting.

Post # 4
Member
5207 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: February 2013

courtneymarie318:  Mine does the same thing and yes. Grouchy grouches and they ask why you’re so unhappy, pissy, sour, etc… All you can do is smile and laugh about it.

Post # 6
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

So, he sits in the garage for two hours and comes back in to scream at you and then your response is to laugh? That seems a bit….weird. Do you two normally communicate that way?

Post # 7
Member
1745 posts
Bumble bee

Yes, it sounds like he’s unhappy or there’s something else going on. 

I suggest trying to have a discussion about this with him. If the discussion doesn’t go well, or things get better and then go back to how they were, I think you should, at the very least, postpone the wedding and put off planning. The reasons for his behavior really need to be sussed out.

This issue needs to be resolved before the wedding. Don’t ignore it. If this happens all the time now, before you’re even married to him, it will most likely continue to happen after the wedding.

Post # 10
Member
1244 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

courtneymarie318:  It’s not bitching to want to spend time with your FI and question why he doesn’t. He’s totally turning it around on you when he’s clearly the one with the problem. And you’re supposed to marry this guy? His behavior is really suspect and I wouldn’t just let it go. You should be with someone who acts like he wants to be with you too.

Post # 11
Member
4794 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

courtneymarie318:  Yes. That’s the first thing I thought of. Why would he sit in the garage to be on his phone??

Post # 14
Member
137 posts
Blushing bee

If you are saying five out of seven with the two cool days being the weekend. I would have to say it is not you, it is job. based on what you are saying the arguments or accusations come during weeknights or workdays. 

Post # 15
Member
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

Based on your info, I have no idea if this is what’s happening, but it could fit the description….

This could be one of those Men and from Mars, Women are from Venus things.

You said you were your normal chatty self and that you were in a great mood. But were you perhaps talking about things that he might consider “problems”? Were you dishing about a crazy coworker, or maybe the coffee maker broke at work, or maybe you were talking through an issue that you don’t yet have a solution for – like you’re not sure if you want blue BM dresses or purple because you aren’t sure which fits your vision better.

To most women – these are all happy, good natured conversations. We love to talk through things. But to some men, these are infuriatingly conclusionless babbling that makes you seem like someone who’s never just content with how things are. You always find something that’s not quite right and you have to point it out and talk about it.

So maybe take a minute to think about the content of your chit-chat and see if that could possibly be the problem. If so, it’s something the two of you have to work on together, since no one is right or wrong. But of course – this could be totally off base and it may be something else entirely. Good luck!!

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