I "taught your kid a lesson in manners"

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1184 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@vmec:  I have children and if someone called my child out on horrible manners, I wouldn’t say a darn thing about it.  It’d be a lot nicer than what I’d tell them later about how they acted.  I can’t stand snottiness or crappy manners.  Not from my kids or anyone else’s.

Post # 4
Member
3156 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: June 2012

@vmec:  I’m trying to picture myself in the same situation and I KNOW my responses would be very simliar.  I think I would avoid them at all costs.  I know this is so much easier said than done, but (eta) SOME people have legit RAGE issues when it comes to correcting their children.  I may speak to your cousins and just say “we were really uncomfortable with climbing all over husband, licking him, and causing him to knock over wine and she was seriously rude to me.  Could you speak to them about possibly distancing themselves?” or something along those lines.  The licking the couch is weird as ish but I suppose since it wasn’t doing harm to anyone you shouldn’t bring that up.

 

Post # 5
Member
828 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2013

in those situations I wouldn’t give a flip what the parents thought.

Post # 6
Member
3222 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

@vmec:  If I encountered such badly behaved children, I would simply get up and leave. If the parents see this sort of behaviour and do not fix it, I can see me scolding the child could permanently damage my relationship with the adult. If the parents think their kid is such a special snowflake, they will NOT be cool with you calling them out on their shitty behaviour.

What I WOULD do:

“You know, I don’t like it when you try to grab my hat. It’s my hat, and if you don’t stop your behaviour, I am going to leave” –> at this point, hopefully parent interjects. If they do not, then leave.

“Please do not touch my bum. It makes me feel uncomfortable, and I don’t think it’s appropriate for you to touch me in that way” –> hopefully parent realizes what a creepy perverted kid they have. If they don’t, then leave.

Post # 7
Member
167 posts
Blushing bee

I have kids and if they ever acted like that I would be completely fine with a family member correcting them. I would definitely set some boundaries and let them know it’s not ok to act like that or treat adults in that way…you guys are family, it’s not like they are strangers. Their behavior sounds awful. 

Post # 8
Member
6407 posts
Bee Keeper

The children were poorly behaved but I would respond a bit differently in the situations.

For example I would say, in a calm and measured tone. “[Name], you don’t grab things out of other people’s hands, that’s very rude. If you do that, people won’t want to play with you. Please give it back.” Let’s assume the child refuses. I’d say, “I see. You have taken the toy, and most children would now go to a teacher, and when they’re adults, they’ll go to the police. If you keep on doing this, you won’t be happy with the results. I suggest you think about changing your approach.” and I’d leave the room, and tell the parent what occurred.

The meat of the parenting is left to the parent, because, well, that’s their right. I certainly wouldn’t yell or lose my cool with them. At the same time, I wouldn’t tolerate them behaving to me in a way I don’t think they should behave with other children (I realize I’m not a child, but it’s other children that they have to learn to interact with, so we as non-parental figures are models for that interaction).

Post # 9
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@vmec:  what obnoxious brats! I would not hestitate to teach them a thing or two, I raised my siblings and my sister had these AWEFUL habits. Licking was one of them…I was always very stern with her and if I wasn’t then I didn’t mind someone else doing it. Heck if I am not present that I expect an adult to tell them no, slapping or pouring wine on them would not have been execptabe to me. A stern no or telling me to come handle it would be the most reasonable response. 

Post # 10
Member
6274 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: October 2013

i’d be spending less time with the person or tell the mother what their child was doing was inappropriate.

 

Post # 11
Member
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

Whose house were you at? It’s more or less impossible to descipline a kid in her own house.

But I think the only two things I would have said things about would be the toy snatching (“That was not very nice! I wouldn’t take a toy from you like that.”) and the licking (I would have gotten her in a bear hug and said “(Name), I love all the hugs but I don’t like when you try to lick me. You’re not a dog, right?”)

I can definitely understand being frusterated by wild kids, but I definitely never want to hit them or throw things at them!

Post # 12
Member
438 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Those kids need a good ol’ fashioned a$$ whooping! I have to admit if this happened at their house you would be limited but if it was at your house you have every right to speak up about their behavior. Good luck!

Post # 13
Member
2973 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@vmec:  You know that expression, “it takes a village”…well it really does. 

If those were my kids, I would have stomped over there and demanded that she apologized to the adult & then I would apologize to the adult for what my kid did. 

I think you could just avoid interacting with them at all costs. Don’t look at them, don’t play with them, don’t try to teach them a lesson because obviously no one else seems to. I’m really angry for you…

We do have kids like that in FH’s family. They;re good kids – but they get out of hand sometimes – the parents are usually there and say something to the effect of “stop. that’s not how a good girl behaves” and they stop. 

Post # 15
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

@letigre:  This.

I would firmly remonstrate with the child; though I would approach it differently to you. For example, I would never yank the car back: IMPO that is childish, and stooping to their level. I would simply have said ‘That was very rude. You should not take things off other people without asking’. If they mimicked me, I would say ‘You are being very rude and silly. I’m going to ignore you until you can be polite’.

If they continued, and the parents did nothing, I would get up and leave, telling the parents exactly why I was leaving (because I found their children’s behaviour disgusting, and was shocked that they were not even attempting to discipline them).

I DETEST bad behaviour; and I detest parents who do not deal with it properly even more.

Post # 16
Member
5421 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2014

Also just to add: the above is what I would do at someone else’s house. If it were at my own house, I would politely but firmly ask the parents to please leave with their children immediately, and inform them that they would not be welcome in my home again.

Leave a comment


Sent weekly. You may unsubscribe at any time.

Find Amazing Vendors