I think a guy is being competitive with me over my SO's family?

posted 4 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
Member
2487 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: November 2014

I wouldn’t take it personally. There are always people who try to turn conversations around to talk about themselves. Just have to ignore it. 

Post # 4
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

@lampshade:  That would rub me the wrong way too. Who does he think he is? You’ve earned your place. He hasn’t.

Post # 5
Member
3584 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2011

Yup.  And any guy who would move in with a woman before she files for divorce… i dont know… it’s a little odd.  Men don’t usually try to rush into a committment.  I would be super annoyed and probably would have been rude to him.  As a parent, I would be concerned by someone so eager. 

Post # 8
Member
104 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: September 2013

how young is young?

That’s a little rude to try to steal your spotlight, IMO.

 

Post # 10
Member
7730 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: August 2012

Maybe he realizes the situation isn’t ideal and is just trying to make himself look good.

Post # 11
Member
918 posts
Busy bee

@lampshade:  I’m guessing you aren’t the only one that probably noticed her new boyfriend’s odd behaviour too. Did you speak to your SO about it at all? I’d be annoyed at it too, but honestly just ignore him. Just speak about the wedding to SO’s parents and not around his sister and her new bf. 

Post # 12
Member
2861 posts
Sugar bee

When I had been dating DH for around three years, one of my fickle best friends started dating this guy who made a lot of money but had a stressful career (successful indie video game designer). They were “so in love” because he spent a ton of money on her. Within two months she was asking me if it would be okay if they got married before DH and me  (likeI care). She also went on and on about how their two month relationship was stronger than ours and they moved in together within three months of dating. Yes, it bothered me a great deal but she’s just competitive that way. Anyway, 3.5 months after they started dating and two weeks after they moved in together, they had a terrible break up where he actually paid her off. He writes about what a mistake she was and what a horrible and controlling girl she is online. He even went so far as to say that she was the worst girlfriend he has ever had and he’s had girls cheat on him.

Well my point is that people like this are annoying but just wait and see. These things have a tendancy not to work out.

Post # 13
Member
336 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@lampshade:  I would say, this is perfect outlet to vent concerns and to try not to take it too personally or bring it up with FI or family.  But I will say, listen to your little inklings, and if you’re feeling even a little of that competitiveness on some level, it probably does exist in one way or another.  I don’t think it’s all in your head!  Unless he becomes rude or condescending or disrespectful in any way, I wouldn’t make it an issue.  Just come on here and vent!

 

Post # 14
Member
2529 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

It wouldn’t bother me. I would probably just laugh at it quietly to myself.

Post # 15
Member
491 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Maybe he’s not trying to compete and he genuinly interested in marrying your SIL or he is trying to show her parents that he genuinely cares about her and is serious. Try to be happy for them, even if they do get engaged, it won’t take away from your wedding and marriage. 

 

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