I think he is cheating on me…

posted 3 months ago in Relationships
Post # 16
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

I’m not sure if he’s cheating on you or not….but it definitely feels like he doesn’t want to be around you. He’s dodging you left and right!

Post # 17
Member
2504 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: September 2017 - Earth

Please leave him. idk what was going on in those *five amazing years* but that ship has clearly sailed. He’s a serious a**hole and not to be trusted. Even if he’s not cheating (and I doubt it) some type of shady behavior is definitely going on here. Nothing you’ve described about this man provides any incentive to continue being with him.

Post # 18
Member
3603 posts
Sugar bee

clove22 :  have you ever talked to a professional about your self esteem issues? If not, I strongly recommend that you do. You need to learn to love yourself. When you love yourself, you don’t allow people to treat you the way that he treats you. Best of luck, bee 

Post # 19
Member
7743 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

I’m sorry to say that, more than once with people very close to me, “out with friends” was a way to say “out with an opposite sex friend” without technically lying. Add to that the secrecy and lying and it really looks like cheating to me. Even if not (which I doubt), he’s not treating you with respect or love. I’m really sorry. ((((Hugs)))).

Post # 20
Member
13678 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2011

Cheating or not, why would you want to be with someone that lies to you that easily and doesn’t even respect you and the relationship.  

Post # 21
Member
4087 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: October 2016 - Lola's Trailer Park

DO NOT BUY A HOUSE WITH THIS MAN.

He is cheating on you. You deserve better.

Post # 22
Member
1532 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2016

He’s cheating on you, is planning to cheat on you, or is otherwise checked out of this relationship. You deserve MUCH better than what he is offering you. IMO, there’s nothing to save. It doesn’t matter if he has actually cheated on you at this point. Please leave. Yeah, it will suck, but then you’ll find someone worthy of you. 

Post # 23
Member
1077 posts
Bumble bee

The best case scenario here is that he’s not cheating on and that instead he’s just suddenly become selfish, dishonest, and kind of mean. Even if my husband wasn’t cheating on me I wouldn’t tolerate this type of behavior, nor would he from me. I always keep him in the loop when I go out, I leave the number of someone I’ll be with, and I text him when I’m heading home. It’s just common courtesy, and he does the same for me without asking. It’s not like we bug each other when we’re out or that we’re checking up on each other, it’s just natural when you’re part of a serious couple to do things like that. When I had female roommates we would even let each other know where we were going, for safety. There’s no good reason to need to be so secretive. 

Post # 24
Member
3944 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: February 1997

Like the PP said, the best-case scenario here is that he isn’t cheating and instead is simply a giant as*hole with zero regard for your feelings. Either way, why would you want to be with (let alone buy a house with or marry) a guy like that?

Post # 25
Member
73 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: March 2016

clove22 :  Please…run… I am so sorry to read your post and I hate to be rude or be hurtful but we all need a reality check and 5 years is a long time and you would want to give him the benefit of the doubt. Please do not buy that home. Too costly and too painful. Please save it with another man who doesn’t mind opening everything up to you and who doesn’t mind even giving you password to everything. Trust is so important but it’s not given unlimited and it should never ever be taken for granted…Trust needs to be earned too, you know!! Yes, we should all trust our men but he needs to respect that trust and not take it for granted! He should be open and frank about things. He is not very respectful to you. He doesn’t need to tell you EVERYTHING or his every single movement of the day but he should at least be open about who he meets etc. You guy have been together for 5 years and you are even buying a house together!!

Do you think you can settle down with a guy who is so secretive? You have make a lot of life decisions together and fight all the shit that life throws at you. Once a cheater forever a cheater. You can never fight life with a cheater, let alone enjoy the best times together (like now when you are buying property together – amazing times).

It is not easy even if both parties are transparent with everything. You sound like a great girl, easy going and relaxed. You deserve better. 5 years..it’s really the turning point where you either fully commit or go separate ways. Please take care. 

Post # 26
Member
1720 posts
Bumble bee

He’s just not that into you… do not call or text him (or “surprise him”.. oof).  He doesn’t care.  Let him come calling.

Post # 27
Member
16 posts
Newbee
  • Wedding: August 2016

So sorry to hear you are going through this. Update us to let us know how you’re doing. 

 

You deserve someone who who treats you like a queen.

Post # 28
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

Every sign I got before getting cheated on… Sorry bee he isn’t worth it. You’ll find someone who treats you so much better and won’t lie or play games. It’ll take time to trust someone again but you will, I did. & I’m happier than ever… Btw he will most likely come up with a lie when you try to talk to him about it. Most liars do. Idk maybe there is some other explanation but regardless a liar is a liar. You deserve so much better 

Post # 29
Member
139 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: June 2017

elizkar23 :  I also wanna say that I have been here and I agree with both the comment saying you shouldn’t text or call him or do anything. That is probably the worst thing to do right now. Let him come to you and when he asks you why you have been so distant and different explain to him that he lied to you and you respect yourself far more than chasing someone who does that… He will get the point. & if you did end up working things out that will show him better than anything else that you won’t take his shit. 

Post # 30
Member
382 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2016 - Beach

I have found this to be true EVERY time one of my friends has said their SO was acting strange. 

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