- 7 years ago
This is my first post so please be gentle! Sorry it’s long and ventish, but I am just so frustrated with the whole situation that when it happened I immediately thought, “I am sooo gonna post this on the boards. Those girls will understand!”
A little back-story: I know my BF purchased the rings almost two months ago to the date. I know this because I was there, lol. I am so glad he wanted me to pick out what I like. In his words, “if you gotta wear it the rest of your life, you might as well like it, honey!” I’m particularly glad he wanted this because our styles, I found out, differed dramatically. At any rate, we found a set we both loved; actually, this was the 2nd set, but that’s a completely different story.
I started getting antsy about it about a month ago. Fast forward a few weeks and a couple, “Why are you waiting? You already have the freakin’ thing” talks, I think I finally got through to him. Our most recent “discussion” (read: nagging that ends up with me trying to hide my disappointment and going to bed early) happened yesterday and from all the hints, joking/teasing he’s been giving me, I really thought it was going to happen sometime this month.
Last night, we were having dinner at one of my new-favorite places (awesome baked potatoes) and he just blurts out, “So, I figured out how I’m gonna do it”. After some careful-to-not-cross-the-line-and-start-obsessing-again banter on the way home, I asked if there was any reason for me to be excited this month or if I just had false hope. Yeah, that was stupid… turns out, I had false hope. The rest of the car ride sucked, btw. Not only did I have false hope for this month… turns out, I shouldn’t even get my hopes up again for MONTHS. I really was so surprised, I had to turn my head the other way and bite my lip to stop from crying. After some conversation and reassuring him that I’m OK, we went to bed.
Today wasn’t any better… and I had to put on my happy face to go out to lunch with some of his friends. On the way home (I live about 2 hours away right now while he’s finishing school), I had time to go from sad to angry to “patient” again. I also came up with a gem of an idea: I was gonna put the agony of waiting into terms to which he could relate!
Here’s where I got through to him (sorry it took so long): After speaking tonight, I asked him how he’d feel if I made him wait 6 months to give him an answer after he asked. I told him I could bring it up occasionally and talk about our future and kids and buying a house and how sure I am of our relationship, and how I’d marry him tomorrow if I could (just like he does), but not actually give him an answer. Well, between the pause and a very soft, “Oh my gosh, honey… I never thought of it like that” and a few apologies later, I think he gets it. I am still incredibly disappointed (both families are thinking it would happen around Christmas and now I have to side-step it all) but now almost feel vindicated.
Have any of you brought up this point? I’m sure it’s been done before but it just hit me tonight. Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t set out to hurt his feelings, but I think he now realizes what it does to me when he thinks he’s being cute by dangling those carats in front of my face. I guess we’ll see if he takes it to heart…