Post # 1
and I really really don’t want to. Neither does FH.
We were pushing it already, the ceremony was supposed to be at 5:30, now it has to be 6:00 (caterer and officiant issues – I was willing to push the caterer, I can’t make the officiant drive faster).
Sunset is listed as being 8:08 the day of the wedding, so even with our 20 minute ceremony I don’t think we’re going to have enough time to get pictures after the ceremony.
Now, I do have my photographer scheduled to arrive at 3:30 – the plan had been for her to get pictures of the separate bridal parties before the wedding and do the rest after. Can anyone come up with a way the we can getour pictures without needing a first look?
Post # 3
@MsGinkgo: looking forward to see how other people respond..I was planning on having a mid-day ceremony/reception because I’m not an evening person, but our venue (which we love!) had 5:30 as the earliest start date. I’m okay with it, but it definitely messes with my timeline plans! I totally understand where you’re coming from.
This is what I’m thinking– do all pictures except bride/groom before the ceremony. After the ceremony do pictures of me and my SO and the whole group together. Maybe a few whole group (family, etc) after the wedding and before the reception as well.
I think you’ll have plenty of time if your ceremony is only going to be 20 minutes– it will all work out! 🙂
Post # 4
I am doing a first look, but I wanted a few moments along with my FI after our first look. This will cut into our picture time. On top of that, we have a FG and a RB that will need to be put down for a nap sometime durring picture time. I also need to compensate for some FILs who I love that are going to be late no mater what I do. This is causing our pictures to be somewhat crazy.
To compensate, I’m making a list of picture order. There will be our first look pictures, and then I’m going to put in some pictures that we want that we don’t need to be in. This includes the RB and FG with their parents and grandparents, pictures of our parents, people in the wedding party who are couples, and a picture of wedding party members without us. I have a very specific order of pictures, I know where I want the pictures, and I’m giving a list to either my MOH or a birdal attendent to keep people moving. I really plan on this going like picture day in grade school where the next person knows they are up, and it’s “pose, picture, picture, done, on to the next.”
Post # 5
I was happy to do a first look. My husband and I had a few moments alone to ourselves before being surrounded by everyone. We took pictures with our bridal party before the ceremony, so all we had to do after our ceremony was a few family shots. This left us lots of time to mingle with our guests, enjoy our reception and not feel rushed. I also didn’t want to take pictures in the dark, so this worked out well for us.
Post # 6
How long is your ceremony? Pre-sunset pictures are usually the best I think, so unless your ceremony is super long you should still have time! You could split up and do some pictures separately before the ceremony as well.
Post # 7
I am doing a first look, and these are the reasons why I chose to do it:
The whole day will be hectic. I want us to see each other and have a few moments to ourselves before the ceremony to reconnect, get emotional (so I don’t get all teary during the cermeony) and just have it be a more private moment. Aside from that, I really don’t want to take an hour or two out from the reception to go take photos. This way, we will only have to do post-ceremony photos for a few minutes and we can get back to the party.
I know it goes against tradition, but I really think there are some positives to a first look.
Post # 8
@MsGinkgo: I was very hesitant to do a first look but I swear it was the best thing we did that day. It was so intimate and romantic i LOVED it. It was such a personal time during a hectic day to have documented with your husband or wife. It also didn’t take ANYTHING away from walking down the aisle…the emotions were definitely still there 🙂
Post # 9
I’d say the person to discuss this with is your photographer. 🙂
Post # 10
@MsGinkgo: I’m doing a first look, BUT your photographer can get creative! There are ways to do photos together before hand without actually seeing eachother. 🙂
Post # 11
@MsGinkgo: If you don’t want to do it, don’t do it. Just make sure everyone is on board with your decision (not agreeing, but informed). What we did was take all family shots and bridal party shots ahead of time– pretty much any photo that did not need SO and me in it. We then had a 30 minute window where we took a few family shots with everyone. We then spent 5-10 minutes doing bridal party shots, then it was just us. We got everything done in under 30 minutes and had a full album of beautiful pictures. We could have had more pictures with a first look, but how many great pictures do you really need? You are only going to have one or two displayed.
I am so happy we made the day about us, not about pictures. We had a minimal gap between the cermony and reception and were at part of our cocktail hour. We got good photos and I loved our photographer, but the day was about us, not pictures. The pictures reflected that we had an amazing time.
Post # 12
- Wedding: September 2014 - Waldorf Astoria, Chicago
This is the worst, I was having the same issue. We both decided to do a first look b/c our original time line was first look and photos with the bridal party before the ceremony, Ceremony at 5pm, cocktail hour from 5:30-6:30, we would spend 30 minutes doing family portraits in the ceremony space (we are getting married at the hotel so everything is in the same location) then join the last half of the cocktail hour then head to dinner.
But now my FI doesn’t want to do a first look and I’m kinda likeing the idea of keeping it traditional.
So we are doing bridal party photos with the guys and girls seperate before the ceremony. Doing our ceremony at 5pm-5:30pm. Having the guests wait outside in the ballroom halway for 30 minutes while we do family portraits, then walking out to a ribbon “exit” just as we would if we were getting married at a church, then guests will go to the cocktail hour from 6-7:30pm, while we walk to a park next door to the hotel to do photos wtih the intire bridal party for one hour then join the last 30 minutes of the cocktail hour. We are basically extending the cocktail hour to give us a full hour of photos before joining the party. It will be rushed, but I think we can get what we need in an hour, and yes the guests might hate waiting in the hallway for 30 minutes but too bad! Our coordinators will be handing out the ribbon wands during that time so that should eat up at 10 minutes of the 30!!
Post # 13
@Jbbee: I emailed my photographer right away and she’s great. She told me not to stress, we’d make it work. Dinner might have to be later (but the ceremony is late because of the caterer).
It sounds like I’m going to have a fight with the caterer – he wants a very ridgid timeline, which I understand, but I need more than an hour between end of ceremony and start of dinner (which he doesn’t think I should).
We’ll work it out!
Post # 14
Take pictures at and around the Church. Pair down the must-have pics and do those first while you have daylight. Speak with your photog about how they can get some nice evening shots at your venue.
Post # 15
@MsGinkgo: I was really against doing a first look. Call me traditional but I really wanted me walking down the aisle to be the first time he saw me in my head to toe look. However, there are so many more arguments for a first look that the practical side of me took over and we gave in to the first look. Easing the nerves, private time with him before the chaos begins, no time stress on photos, being able to attend our cocktail hour, and not making photos more important than our guests who came to see us. Plus, I’ve heard that the ceremony is still very emotional and that moment is still poignant even if he’s already seen you. So, in short, don’t stress too much if you can’t get the caterer to budge. There are many benefits to it.
Post # 16
@MsGinkgo: You can do it without a first look but photos will be rushed and you might not get everything you want so weigh your options and choose. Is it more important to skip the first look or have more time for photos and ensure you get everything you want?
My sister and I had the same timeline as you and we each went a different way. One had a first look and the other didn’t. I’m not married yet so I can’t tell you how they compared but I have never heard of anyone regretting a first look. I have heard people regret not having the photos they want.