Post # 1
A pretty good friend of mine’s mother is a justice of the peace. She frequently performs weddings in our town so I asked her to be the offiant for my wedding and she agreed. Her daughter will be attending my wedding as a guest.
I just sent out my wedding invitations and sent one to our officiant. I didn’t think until after the fact, but I did not include her spouse. I don’t really know him, but should I have included him? The only reason I invited my friend’s mother was out of courtesy for being our officiant.
Are you inviting your officiant or their spouse? How should I go about correcting this? Or is it okay?
Edited after posting: Also thought I should add that the ceremony and reception is all in one place. Does that make a difference?
Post # 3
You need not invite him unless you otherwise would have. We didn’t invite our officiant at all but if we had we wouldn’t have invited his wife.
Post # 4
I have to disagree with the PP, if you are treating your officiant as a guest at your reception (not a vendor) then they get the same courtesy as other guests, a +1 for the spouse.
Post # 5
We invited our officiant’s spouse, though we knew them both (our church pastor and his wife). But yeah if you invite anyone to the reception you should invite their spouse. The only exception would be someone working at the reception (like the DJ), but the officiant isn’t working at the reception, she’s there socially.
It’s no biggie though. Phone her, tell her you made a mistake and a second invitation will be in the mail shortly.
Post # 6
I’d be tempted to invite her spouse, only because no one wants to go to a wedding reception dateless! Especially if her daughter will be there with a date, it would be nice if she didnt have to go alone.
Post # 7
Where I live, standard is to invite officiant and his/her spouse. They are not treated as vendors.
Post # 8
I think if you have a personal relationship with the officiant it’s more likely you’d invite them both. If it is someone hired just to perform the ceremony, I can’t see why they would even accept an invitation to the reception. The one my daughter had was scheduled for several that day, and he said he’d be over 500 lbs. if he attended every wedding reception he was invited to after he officiated!
Post # 9
I would, more out of kindness than anything else. I don’t think you have to. But it would be nice for her.
Also, if you do want to invite him, just give her a quick call and apologise for the error, and don’t mention it was an after thought!
Post # 10
I never even thought about inviting our officiant (or his wife)… he is the pastor at my mom’s church; now I’ll ask her about it!
Post # 11
tThey are a social unit, and such must be invited together.
If you invite her she is a guest, not “only” a vendor.
Post # 12
- Wedding: June 2013 - Upstate NY
@andielovesj: agreed! I invited my officiant (dad’s bets friend, a judge) to the rehearsal dinner as well! He declined, saying it was only for the bridal party and family.
Post # 13
Yes, you should invite the spouse. We are inviting our officiant and his wife, but he is my pastor and both of them are actually friends of mine!
Post # 14
I tend to agree with pretty much everyone else here. You should invite the spouse in this case. My mind-set is along the lines of: She/he is the one that will be joining me to my husband in marriage that in and of itself in my minds eye deserves the plus one, and as they are married that would solidify it for me.
You can phone them and inform them of the mistake, and if you can send out a new invitation as well.
But thats just my two pennies.