Post # 1
I am really feeling like I suck today. The honeymoon has been FI’s thing to plan and last night we started talking about it. We are going to Charleston, SC, which admittedly would not be my first choice but I’m very excited about it now. FI started asking me for suggestions about this and that, and I mentioned how great it would be to go to Hilton Head Island for a couple days. Thing is, Hilton Head is 90 miles away. I could tell from the tone in his voice that it didn’t fit into what he had planned, but he was like, “Go ahead and plan that part and we’ll work it in.” Since I knew he wasn’t into it, I said, “No, no, never mind,” but he could tell I was disappointed. I’ve just always imagined a tropical island getaway for my honeymoon and I thought this would be a way to incorporate it. We ended up arguing about it, because I felt like I couldn’t have something for me in this trip, and he felt like I was telling him what he was planning wasn’t good enough.
At the end of our argument, we made up, but he said, “I’m not mad at you anymore but I just don’t want to plan this anymore. I thought it would be fun but its not, and I just won’t be able to do it how you want, so forget about it.” And then he tells me how he had wished things had gone – that I would have just let him plan it and surprise me, and trust him to incorporate things he knows I want to do, like go to the beach and have a spa day.
Now I feel like a big idiot, because I have a great FI who wants to give me this special honeymoon that I don’t have to plan myself, and I tried to get my fingers all in it and I messed everything up! I don’t know how to make it better – I feel like I can’t bring it up now because we both still have a bad taste in our mouths about it.
Post # 3
*hugs hugs* I would let the situation cool off for a little while – like you said you both still have bad tastes in your mouth because of it. Then maybe ask him how he feels planning the honeymoon the way he wanted to do it … and promise not to peak or say anything because you know he will make it AMAZING for you because he’s doing things with you in mind!
Post # 4
Definately give him time to cool off, and let him know that you really didn’t mean anything by it. Even if your honeymoon wasn’t what you had envisioned, you have the rest of your lives together to go somewhere tropical. And isn’t that the whole point of it all? Maybe if you put it to him that way, he’ll be more open to planning again.
Post # 5
As the ladies said, I’d leave it alone for a lil bit. Then I’d bring it up at another time and apologize for making it seem that you didn’t trust him to make your honeymoon wonderful. In the end, he’ll plan something that you’ll both love. But I understand your saying something. The honeymoon is for both of you to enjoy so you should both be on the same page. That’s why we planned together, one less fight! :o)
Post # 6
aww, I totally know how you feel, this happens with us all the time. In fact, I acknolwedged that I like to get my hands into things when sometimes I just need to learn to let go. As such, FI is planning our honeymoon and I fear we will end up in a similar situation. In my experience, no matter how long you wait the situation will always be tainted. I would suggest picking a completely new honeymoon location and either planning togethere or giving him full trust.
Post # 7
oh my hugs. I know my fi is in charge of the honey moon as a suprize for me and has been very emotional about it. This is his part of the wedding to plain and boy does he ever want it to be good. If i make any suggestions he says thigs like fine do you want to do it with sad eyes lol and Im like no. Maybe you can beg him to go back to his plains I donlt know i just know this is a really big freakin deal to my man and it sounds like it was to yours and when we put are 10cents in we feel horrible and they feel like their horrible. I would just tell him that you want his honey moon he planned it and that is romantic and special to you you can do your plains as a seperate vacay later.
Post # 8
Whatever you were looking for in Hilton Head is definitely in Charleston! Whether it’s a beach resort, great restaurants, a five-star hotel, or a quiet inn, it’s all there. Send me a message and I can offer PLENTY of suggestions.