I think I want to breakup, but I'm afraid to regret it

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
737 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@TheLastDance:  Unless you are prepared to deal with those controlling issues and more for your whole life you should leave him.

Post # 5
1246 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Your SO needs some serious counselling. You should not out up with these unhealthy dramatics. 

Post # 6
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@TheLastDance:  There are plenty of good men out in the world, ones that dont try to manipulate or control you. From reading your post it really doesnt seem like you need to add any more details.. your mind is made up and you seem fed up. Honestly, I would be too. 

Its so important to spend time with yourself and become your own person before you dive into a relationship. You said you want your freedom. That’s a strong statement to make, and it sounds like you’re ready to go. 

Post # 7
3 posts

[content moderated for sock puppeting]

Post # 8
2052 posts
Buzzing bee

@TheLastDance:  You really need to listen to your gut on this one.

Your guy may love you, but he is not in a healthy mind set.  You are right-It’s not realistic to NOT go to bars and clubs without the other.  And he should feel very odd about wanting to tag along on girls night or girls time.

He should feel odd about accusing you of sleeping with his best friend or moving the shower head.  Is he on drugs?  Why the heck is he so paranoid?

Post # 9
1465 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: January 2015

DO NOT go back. He’s trying to emotionally manipulate you into putting up with his psychotic behavior. I told my FI about the shower head thing and he said “that is insane.” And then not letting you go dancing? He realizes he’s being ridiculous and now he’s grasping at straws so you don’t leave. Do not put up with this!!

Oh and PS: about not wanting to lose a “good man”? This is not a good man. This is a controlling asshole who knows how (some of the time) to impress you.  Good men do not do even 1/100th of the shit that guy has done to you.

Post # 10
11772 posts
Sugar Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2013

@TheLastDance:  He is a controlling psycho. And while he isn’t using physical violence yet, I wouldn’t be surprised if that were to change if you get married.

You deserve someone who trusts you. Get out, run away, and you will NOT regret it!

Post # 11
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

@sugar_biscuit:  +1000

This is the question you need to ask yourself, OP. Because it’s very doubtful this type of behavior will ever fully go away, regardless of counseling. 

Post # 12
3635 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

I dated a controlling jackass like that for a long time.  His world was over when I dumped him, he called my mother crying.  My mother.  Except he was perfectly fine and married to some other poor girl before I was even seriously dating anyone.

Post # 14
69 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: May 2015

@TheLastDance:  Wow. Just another horribly controlling and manipulative thing for him to say. “You’ll never find a man as good as me?” That’s the same thing as “No one else will ever love you like I do.” What a grade-A prick. 

Post # 15
2419 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2015

Believe me when I tell you that this is not healthy. I was in a very similiar relationship when I was younger and I am so thankful that I got out of it when I did. I wasn’t allowed to have guy friends at all and the world would end if I hung out with my girlfriends. The only person he wanted me to spend anytime with was him, so he could control me.

Now, I’m engaged to a wonderful man who doesn’t care who I am friends with. Believe me, you will find someone who treats you wonderfully and allows you to be you.

Post # 16
6525 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: September 2013

@TheLastDance:  you love him, but you’re not in love with him.

He has good qualities, but his bad qualities outweigh the good in my eyes. And if he doesn’t see how he is being controlling, then your relationship is not going to work. Its only going to get worse when if you were to get married.

And you already said, he wants to make it work but you are not sure if you want too. That right there tells me, you have made up your mind

Also, I couldn’t be with someone who disrespected my friend that way.


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