I think I'm actually on the verge of a bridal breakdown. =/

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
42135 posts
Honey Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Overwhelmed:  Don’t get overwhelmed by the details. They are just details. The Bees can be very helpful. If you have specific questions, send them our way.

And always remember, this too shall pass.


Post # 4
16 posts
  • Wedding: February 2014

It is just details, at the end of the day you will be MARRIED thats the important part 🙂 I would get a wedding planner or find someone else to be a bridesmaid and have them help you plan. I suggest finding a friend who was recently married.

Post # 5
171 posts
Blushing bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

*hugs* You need to try to relax. Everything will turn out well! And yes, focus on the most important thing of all, you are marrying your best friend! 🙂 

What decorations have you got? Post them up, and I am sure you will get lots of suggestions from the Bees! 

Sounds like you are on a budget here, so, prioritize! Pick the important elements to spend on, and DIY or make do with others. 

And just remember, God is with you! It will all be great! 🙂 

Post # 6
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: June 2014

@Overwhelmed:  you have so much going on.  Have you ever seen a counselor/psychologist?  It might really help you, even just to vent.  How are you taking care of yourself?  Make sure you are sleeping well, and getting enough to eat.  I’m sorry you feel poorly about your body right now but remember you are so much more than your body!  And only a size 10- you are not big at all.  It’s good to focus on your health but not to the point where you feel hungry all the time or deprived.  Do you exercise?  That might help with your self-image and with your stress.

You said your mom “offed herself”, do you mean suicide?  If so I am so sorry.  I cannot imagine.  Cut yourself some slack, you are doing the best you can.  So sorry you are going through all this while planning your wedding.  I hope your wedding is much better than expected and you have fun! 

Post # 7
1466 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2014

@Overwhelmed:  Wow, I would be overwhelmed too in that situation. It sounds like you have a lot going on. I think you should talk with someone about it. The internet is great and all but (no offense bees) I don’t know if it really cuts it to talk online. Is there someone you can talk to? Your dad? Someone in your community, like a leader at your church or place of religious and/or cultural gathering? A friend? Even a counselor? Sometimes it can help to just unload things and then think it through out loud. 

It sounds like you have a lot on your plate for the next few months. Give yourself a break- maybe now is not a good time for a diet like Atkins and maybe a better time to just nurture yourself with a balanced diet (I am so sorry that lady asked if you are pregnant- that is crazy!). Make some time to take care of yourself and be compassionate to yourself. 

You are right, no matter what, you and FI are getting married and as long as you get married, it’s a success! 

A book that really helped me and might help you – A Practical Wedding

It just puts all the hype in perspective and might help you take some of the pressure off. 

Post # 8
76 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

@Overwhelmed:  first off I’m sorry you are struggling so much. I just had a small breakdown over how expensive weddings, school, and a house cost so I feel ya there sister! I also am a size 10 and had a man actually put his hand on my stomach and ask if I was pregnant!?!? Who does that?!?!?  And like every one else has said, if you need any advice the Bees are always very supportive. 

Have you paid for a lot of stuff for the wedding already? Have you considered maybe forgetting about your deposits and elope? It might be worth your sanity to elope now and maybe do a vow renewal later on with a big party? 

Anywho best of luck to you! 

Post # 9
32 posts
  • Wedding: November 2014

I would consider cutting back on paying for the maids hair/make up- it would be more fun it you all just did it together, and much more budget friendly.  I also struggle with weight and am doing weight watchers (bread is included and so I dont feel like killing anyone eating a sandwich) As for decorations, maybe just go simple- mason jars with pretty candles, and small flowers with plane table cloths.  I hope some of this helps and just know after you are going to be so happy with your husband 🙂  Good luck, and good thoughts!

Post # 10
663 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

I’m so sorry you have so much going on. I wish I had something magical to say but yes you are mmarrying your best friend.

Post # 11
566 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: September 2015

I am really sorry that you are going through this. I’ve never experienced anything you are going through so I don’t have any personal experience advice to share. You didn’t mention who on  your FI family side is coming? Is it a large wedding? If you back out and just elope will you take a huge financial hit? Its really sad when this day is supposed to be a celebration and people are getting miffed because of your choices. I say do what one of the bees suggested and just elope. Have a dinner party when you get back. But whatever you decide to do – please remember to take care of yourself! Ditch the diet until you can get other things settled – i find the lack of bread/carbs a major factor in my moods. Pick up exercising. Nothing helps my sour moods and clears my head than a good sweat. Get LOTS of sleep and eat right. Just remember these are just details that at the end of day – won’t matter. Plus use this as a leaning curve – you are now realizing who your TRUE friends are, who you can trust and rely on. Good luck!

Post # 12
1491 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

@Overwhelmed:  So sorry to hear how crazy life is


1. Get some counseling. It sounds like a bunch of crazy stuff is happening and you should take care of your mind


2. Whatever you can’t do – let it go 

Buying a house – is it already at P&S? If not, talk to your FI more about making sure you guys can afford the house. You should never buy a house you can’t afford

Tell your maids that your MUA/Hair stylist backed out. Have them all pick a dress in a color that matches your wedding (or have them wear all little black dresses – SO cute!). Take the money you would have paid for the MUA/Hair stylist and use it towards a hotel room instead. Everyone will do their own hair and makeup

If you hate the cake, cancel the cake. Order a bunch of pies from Costco.

Find a caterer – your guests will need to eat.   

Stop buying decorations. let your venue speak for itself

If you can’t afford to have the beautiful wedding you’ve always wanted, focus instead on having happy people there. Focus on your friends, focus on your FI. It’s never worth it to stress out over money. A pretty wedding is not worth the money lost. Seriously.

Do you have to change your dress to a corset? If your dress already fits, then leave it alone. 

Good luck!


Post # 14
284 posts
Helper bee

@Overwhelmed:  My gosh. I am SO sorry that all this is going on. Especially about your mother, seriously, my condolences and prayers and tons of e-hugs. <3 Can you find another counselor to talk to? (Really crappy that the last one bailed on you; total fail.) Or if you’re religious, a pastor?

In the grand scheme of things…details don’t matter. A wedding is one day. Trust me, I totally get wanting it to be lovely and wonderful and memorable and tons of fun. But your marriage is more important. So is your sanity. Do what is best for you, and everything will fall into place. Hitting a point where you say “Screw expectations, I’m doing what I want” is not always a bad thing. Talk to your FI, remain really open to possibilities, and I know everything will come together just fine. Maybe take a break from planning for a few days and get away with him for a weekend to regroup and relax? I know your wedding is coming up fast, but it will likely be very worth it just to hit the reset button for a couple of days. Best of luck to you, and I know you don’t know me, but if you need an ear to vent to, PM me, I’m more than happy to listen 🙂

Post # 16
7997 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: December 2013

Aw *hugs* it’ll be ok. I was going to say you should scale it all down and possibly elope, but sounds like you’re already pretty invested. It will be over soon enough and then you can breathe again. Try not to worry so much about the details.. I know it’s tough, but no one notices if something isn’t totally perfect. You can’t please everyone.

Maybe you should talk to someone about all the family issues… I know counseling can be a good thing sometimes. It helps to have an unbiased person just listen to you.

It’ll be ok!!

Oh and I’d give up on the Atkins.. it’s just a temporary diet.. you don’t want to put all the weight back on when you go back to eating normally. Try to eat healthier and exercise more and make it more a lifestyle change so you’re not yo-yoing.

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