I think I'm an Instagram stalker? lead to jealousy

posted 2 years ago in The Lounge
Post # 2
Member
904 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: January 1975

FuturemrsMits:  Comparing yourself is not good OP, looks what it’s doing to you. Plus, you don’t know what her life is REALLY like. Sometimes social media is just an outlet and it only gives an appearance that someone may have “the good life.” If needed, block her or take yourself off IG so you don’t feel compelled to compare. Focus on what you have, be thankful and enjoy the real life.

Post # 3
Member
784 posts
Busy bee

I’ll get looking at some old friends from high school or college that I haven’t talked to in years, just to check in on how life is, but I don’t usually look at people I don’t know too much. If it’s a new SO to a friend I check them out really quick sometimes but then I usually never go back. I don’t know if this is weird – curiosity is natural. But if her life is in anyway making you feel sad about yours, or its stressing you out that is a problem. Maybe you need to block her to stop yourself? I would hate for you to be stressed about the life of someone you don’t know! The social media generation is so awful with this- remember if you feel bad that nobody is as perfect as what they post. Obviously nobody posts the bad stuff. I’d stick to pinterest to look at rings and baby announcements,too. The separation from reality may help a lot!!

Post # 4
Member
2493 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: October 2010

There are two types of people in this world: people who stalk other people on social media and liars. 

EVERYONE does this–comparison is a natural inclination with social media. 

That doesn’t mean it’s always healthy, though. For one, most people don’t “share” their lives on social media; they advertise their lives. Most people are only showing you the highlights (which you should be thankful for, because you don’t want the actual reality), usually filtered and framed and cleverly captioned. Which is fine for people to do, but it does create an unrealistic picture of life and happiness. Your own life probably would look pretty sweet on Instagram–you’re young, in love, and engaged, for starters–but you know that your life also (probably) involves boring bits and difficulties and insecurities that most of us also have ourselves. 

Social media is really never about the person you’re stalking; it’s about some fantasy they are representing that is attractive to you for some reason. I mean, I’ve stalked people I knew in HS that I don’t care about at all, but for some reason, something about their life triggered me. Sometimes that fantasy reminds you of things you don’t have yourself (in your case, a baby), which can make it hard to appreciate what you DO have.

So if I were you, I’d remind myself that whatever you’re looking at on Instagram probably isn’t the whole story–and that’s not intended in a mean way of trashing someone to make yourself feel better–it’s just a basic reality. I have a baby and plenty of lovely Instagram pictures that captured moments that really WERE fantastic and magical and all that–but they were moments. I also remember the exhaustion, the weight gain, the breast infections, the stress, the messy house, the loss of spotaneity etc. etc. that also go along with a baby. The other half of it is to also do some self-reflection and figure out how you can be more present in the life you’re living NOW, as opposed to things you want in the future. 

Post # 5
Member
2428 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

There could very well be someone feeling this way about you! The point is, be thankful for what you have. Comparison is the thief of joy!

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