Post # 1
here’s a little back story so i dont have to make this post suuuper long.
basically… i know wedding manners as this is my second wedding… but I really want to put my cousin on the spot and ask her if i’m going to be in her wedding or not.
I knew i would never be her MOH because she has a sister.. but she said she only wants 5 attendants total.. and Im really nervous she’s going to fill the wedding with her moms side or with what i like to call “temporary friends” (people who you are close to now but they’ve held no longstanding connection to you or the groom and these are always the people who you lose touch with first after the wedding) or people who are wedding illiterate. She has told me several times that she’s going to be coming to me for advice or opinions…. and i would think thats what you’d want a bridesmaid to do.. i know i definitely lacked it while planning my wedding and would have killed for a BM who offered to help with ANYTHING.
Post # 3
I’m confused. Am I understanding from your linked post that you and your cousin are both getting married on the same day and yet you don’t think you’ll be her BM?
Post # 4
I’m confused, too.
Previously, you were worried that GUESTS would have to choose which wedding to attend, because there would be no way to attend both, but now you’re upset that you might not be a BM in her wedding on your wedding day?
If a guest couldn’t make it to both ceremonies, how could the you?
Post # 5
@KBsquared: I know you don’t want to go into a long drawn out explanation but, as written, your post is confusing. Unless you linked to the wrong thread. By your date, I see that you were married on August 7th of last year, and according to the thread you linked to, your cousin was as well. In that thread, you mentioned your cousin’s cousin who was to be your BM, but dropped out when she was asked to be in her cousins wedding. So did your cousin not get married on August 7th after all, or is this the cousin’s cousin we are speaking of?
Post # 6
ahhh.. i can see how thats confusing. Weddings are both done. Cousin H had been asked to be in two weddings in one day, and her mother told her she had to drop out of my wedding…. does it make sense now?
Cousin H from previous post is now engaged.
Cousin H is being verrrry vague about wedding party details but wants my opinion on everything else. I’m not sure if its because i’m not going to be chosen as a BM or if its really because she just hasnt decided yet.
I -as a married lady- know that the second you get engaged your head gets filled with pictures of your wedding day and how you want everything to go down… i knew who my matron of honor was 15 seconds after I said yes!
Post # 7
I wouldn’t push it yet. A lot of brides wait until the date is closer to ask their wedding party. I had 2 friends point blank ask me if they were going to in my wedding party and it was really awkward. Please don’t put her on the spot like that.
Post # 8
So this is the cousin who ditched you to be a BM in another wedding? Why would you even want to be in her wedding? Also how did everything turn out for you and the date stealing cousin?
Post # 9
@KBsquared: OK…I kind of figured it had to be cousin H but I wasn’t sure. Having said that, it’s possible that she just hasn’t thought about it. I know picking my BMs wasn’t really a top priority of mine b/c I knew I only had a small pool of “contenders” since my wedding is family and very close friends only. It could also be that she thinks you may say no since she dropped out of your wedding. Could you maybe get another family member to feel her out and see what she is thinking?
Post # 10
I wouldn’t put her on the spot. If she wants you to be a BM she will ask you.
Post # 11
It would be totally inappropriate for you to ask her if you are going to be in the wedding party. It is none of your business who she asks- family, or “temporary” friends.
Just be flattered that she is asking for your opinion.