I think i'm more scared to let him sleep in his own room than he is

posted 3 years ago in Parenting
Post # 3
Member
1305 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

DD started sleeping in her own room at 6 months and for the first few months I slept with a baby monitor and that helped me sleep.

A friend of mine had a problem with her son crawling into bed with her at night and she started giving him a treat/small present each morning he woke up in his own bed.

Post # 4
Member
1106 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2012

@Brimenon:  I would nip the habit as quickly as possible. I’ve seen what can happen thanks to my aunt and uncle. They allowed their son to stay in his own bed in their room and they are having a very very VERY difficult time getting him comfortable in his own room, and he is now almost 13 years old. (been in his own room for a couple of years, but still uneasy and sometimes requests his mom or dad sleep in the top bunk of his room)

Things have started to shift now due to puberty, but it was a long long long time coming!

I second what PP have said, how about one of the video monitors, or a treat/gift each morning waking up in their own bed?

Post # 6
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Brimenon:  My mom said she had similar problems with me. At about 3 this is how she broke it. 

Day one- put me to bed the “normal way” (teeth, kisses, book) and everytime I came to her room to climb into bed she would pick me up, didnt say anything to me to reward me with attention, and placed me in the bed again. She eventually just sat in the hallway waiting for me. She said she did this 56 times the first night

Day two- repeat of day one, but only 14 times

Day three- repeat of day one, but only 3 times

Day 4- Fell asleep right away and never had a problem again.

 

She loves telling this story of me for some reason. I have heard it sooo many times.

Post # 7
Member
928 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2015

@Brimenon:  SS’s mom was breastfeeding him until 2 and letting him sleep in her bed with him which made for some really difficult nights for FI and I when he was up in the middle of the night looking for something I just couldn’t give him. Just after his 2nd birthday, all of us made more of an effort to get him to sleep in his own bed. First we would lie there until he fell asleep. Then we would just sit on the bed and just hold his hand. Then we would sit on the bed and hold his hand for a few minutes. When he was about 3 1/2, we had one really rough week of sleep training. We put him to bed, read stories, told him we loved him and then explained that he needed to sleep in his own bed. We told him we expected him to stay in bed. He got up over and over and over and over again. Eventually, FI gave him a warning that the next time he got up, we would close the door. We ended up  having to hold the door close while he screamed and shouted at us. At first, it was really hard. I was in tears because he was screaming for me. But within minutes, his shouts weren’t scared screams, they were just plain angry. After 45 mins, he went to sleep. for the next 6 months or so, he would get up a couple of times but we never had to close the door to keep him in his room. 

He’s 4 now and we’re now at the point where he’ll get up once or twice after we say goodnight but usually just because he has something to tells us (his way of trying to stay up for a couple more minutes) or needs to pee. Then he gives a hug, says goodnight and tucks himself back into bed. He still comes into our bed during the night though. He can fall asleep by himself in his own room but he doesn’t always stay there. 

Post # 8
Member
5674 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: August 2010

I know he’s older but would you consider a video monitor. I slept with mine when we moved DD into her own room. It helped put me at ease and within a few weeks I only looked at it when I actually needed to. 

Post # 9
Member
3756 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2014

@ThreeMeers:  I’ve seen Super Nanny or Nanny 911 use that same technique over and over, it works!!

Post # 10
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

I started having my 2 year old sleep in his room the hard way. (I waited because I felt bad about him crying.) Now at 3 he always sleeps in there. I wish I had done it earlier though, with this baby I will start him/her off early so it’s not a hassle.

Honestly I just had to let him cry and spaz out at first. Then he stopped. I also had to tape down his light switch or he would turn on his light, and put those doorknob protectors to keep him from opening the door.

Now He gets 1 book, 1 poem, and 1 song. He gets one bathroom trip a night(if it’s needed). And he happily sleeps through the night.

Post # 11
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@jny1179:  now that you say that, so have I! I should watch more of that show to make notes of her techniques. hehe 

“No DH, you cant change the station. This is research”

Post # 13
Member
2627 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Brimenon:  No technique you use will be successful unless you are consistant.

It will be painful at first, but then much easier later.  If he has to get up early, then it should be your job to do the put back to bed routine and you can sit outside your kids room instead of returning to your bedroom to minimize the disturbance. Get him some earplugs for those nights and create a nice routine before bed so it signifys bedtime like @PixelMePretty: has with a book and ground rules for how many.  Your son will know what to expect if you explain it to him the new rules and then follow through.

Post # 15
Member
2189 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2017

@Brimenon:  I don’t, I don’t use nightlights either. I never wanted him to be afraid of the dark or to rely on them.

@ThreeMeers:  Oh yeah we have the rules down now. 🙂 He gets one song, one book and one poem.

Post # 16
Member
2690 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2012

We had to roomshare with our oldest when he was younger and I got him in the habit of sleeping in bed with us too.  When we finally moved and he got his own room at 3, he would not sleep in there.  He would get up at odd hours and climb in bed with us.  I can count on one hand the number of times he slept in his own room and bed when we first moved.  When we moved to our second apartment, he did much better about sleeping in his own room, but at this point he was 4 so I think he was becoming more independent and naturally wanted to sleep on his own.

With my dd and 2nd ds, getting them to sleep in their own rooms on their own was a challenge at first but I started early with advice from our former early stimulation teacher.  Beforethat, I was sleeping in the room with the kids in their bed until they fell alseep, which was not working for me or dh.  I finally did the CIO method.  I put them to bed with our normal routine.  The first night was the hardest but then by night 3, they were sleeping in their own beds in their room.  

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