Post # 1
I can’t get my 4.5 year old to sleep in his room. He’s not the only one dreading it, but i know it’s something that needs to be done. The only time he will willing sleep alone in his room is if we leave the tv on and he ‘happens’ to fall asleep. I don’t feel like he should have to fall asleep with the TV on nightly. As of now, he has a small car bed in mine and my FI room. He doesn’t sleep in our bed, but he does sleep in the room. A few times we’ve laid with him in his room and got up after he fell asleep, however, he wakes up and comes and wants to sleep IN OUR BED. I, myself, have trouble sleeping the nights he sleeps in his room. I jump at every noise and wake up throughout the night. part of me doesn’t really want him to go in his room, but I know turning 5 soon, it’s definitly time. Any of you mom have this issue? Or had it before and can give some tips? What age did your child start to sleep in their own room?
Post # 3
DD started sleeping in her own room at 6 months and for the first few months I slept with a baby monitor and that helped me sleep.
A friend of mine had a problem with her son crawling into bed with her at night and she started giving him a treat/small present each morning he woke up in his own bed.
Post # 4
@Brimenon: I would nip the habit as quickly as possible. I’ve seen what can happen thanks to my aunt and uncle. They allowed their son to stay in his own bed in their room and they are having a very very VERY difficult time getting him comfortable in his own room, and he is now almost 13 years old. (been in his own room for a couple of years, but still uneasy and sometimes requests his mom or dad sleep in the top bunk of his room)
Things have started to shift now due to puberty, but it was a long long long time coming!
I second what PP have said, how about one of the video monitors, or a treat/gift each morning waking up in their own bed?
Post # 5
@blondie_bride: ahhh 13?! i guess you’re right. Better do it now, it’ll just keep getting harder.
@angela85: I might do that. I think I still have the one from when he was an infant. Lol
Post # 6
@Brimenon: My mom said she had similar problems with me. At about 3 this is how she broke it.
Day one- put me to bed the “normal way” (teeth, kisses, book) and everytime I came to her room to climb into bed she would pick me up, didnt say anything to me to reward me with attention, and placed me in the bed again. She eventually just sat in the hallway waiting for me. She said she did this 56 times the first night
Day two- repeat of day one, but only 14 times
Day three- repeat of day one, but only 3 times
Day 4- Fell asleep right away and never had a problem again.
She loves telling this story of me for some reason. I have heard it sooo many times.
Post # 7
@Brimenon: SS’s mom was breastfeeding him until 2 and letting him sleep in her bed with him which made for some really difficult nights for FI and I when he was up in the middle of the night looking for something I just couldn’t give him. Just after his 2nd birthday, all of us made more of an effort to get him to sleep in his own bed. First we would lie there until he fell asleep. Then we would just sit on the bed and just hold his hand. Then we would sit on the bed and hold his hand for a few minutes. When he was about 3 1/2, we had one really rough week of sleep training. We put him to bed, read stories, told him we loved him and then explained that he needed to sleep in his own bed. We told him we expected him to stay in bed. He got up over and over and over and over again. Eventually, FI gave him a warning that the next time he got up, we would close the door. We ended up having to hold the door close while he screamed and shouted at us. At first, it was really hard. I was in tears because he was screaming for me. But within minutes, his shouts weren’t scared screams, they were just plain angry. After 45 mins, he went to sleep. for the next 6 months or so, he would get up a couple of times but we never had to close the door to keep him in his room.
He’s 4 now and we’re now at the point where he’ll get up once or twice after we say goodnight but usually just because he has something to tells us (his way of trying to stay up for a couple more minutes) or needs to pee. Then he gives a hug, says goodnight and tucks himself back into bed. He still comes into our bed during the night though. He can fall asleep by himself in his own room but he doesn’t always stay there.
Post # 8
I know he’s older but would you consider a video monitor. I slept with mine when we moved DD into her own room. It helped put me at ease and within a few weeks I only looked at it when I actually needed to.
Post # 9
@ThreeMeers: I’ve seen Super Nanny or Nanny 911 use that same technique over and over, it works!!
Post # 10
I started having my 2 year old sleep in his room the hard way. (I waited because I felt bad about him crying.) Now at 3 he always sleeps in there. I wish I had done it earlier though, with this baby I will start him/her off early so it’s not a hassle.
Honestly I just had to let him cry and spaz out at first. Then he stopped. I also had to tape down his light switch or he would turn on his light, and put those doorknob protectors to keep him from opening the door.
Now He gets 1 book, 1 poem, and 1 song. He gets one bathroom trip a night(if it’s needed). And he happily sleeps through the night.
Post # 11
@jny1179: now that you say that, so have I! I should watch more of that show to make notes of her techniques. hehe
“No DH, you cant change the station. This is research”
Post # 12
@ThreeMeers: We actually started with that, but because FI wakes up for work around 230am, it was disturbing his sleep at night. We might just have to suck it up for a week or so and just get it over with
@Jellybones: Ohhhh that’s what i’m scared of. I’m the softy, the push over parent. Lol My FI is the tough love parent. haha So, it’s so hard for me to see him cry for me. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t let him get away with things that he shouldn’t be doing, like every day things. He’s very respectable and kind. But I need to learn be more stern.
@roxy821: I think a monitor would help me a bit. Our master bedroom is at the end of the hall, and his is closer to the front door/ back yard. Being able to hear/see him might give me some peace of mind.
@PixelMePretty: That’s great. My son will jump through hoops to get an extra story at bed time, I could probably use that to my advantage. Do you leave lights on for him? I noticed when we leave our hallway light on, he’ll sleep in his room a little longer than when we just have a night light.
Post # 13
@Brimenon: No technique you use will be successful unless you are consistant.
It will be painful at first, but then much easier later. If he has to get up early, then it should be your job to do the put back to bed routine and you can sit outside your kids room instead of returning to your bedroom to minimize the disturbance. Get him some earplugs for those nights and create a nice routine before bed so it signifys bedtime like @PixelMePretty: has with a book and ground rules for how many. Your son will know what to expect if you explain it to him the new rules and then follow through.
Post # 14
@ThreeMeers: ahhhh i know 🙁 lol Guess I was looking for someone to give me an excuse. Thanks for all the advice & tips. I’ll update you once we get back from our honeymoon next week (:
Post # 15
@Brimenon: I don’t, I don’t use nightlights either. I never wanted him to be afraid of the dark or to rely on them.
@ThreeMeers: Oh yeah we have the rules down now. 🙂 He gets one song, one book and one poem.
Post # 16
We had to roomshare with our oldest when he was younger and I got him in the habit of sleeping in bed with us too. When we finally moved and he got his own room at 3, he would not sleep in there. He would get up at odd hours and climb in bed with us. I can count on one hand the number of times he slept in his own room and bed when we first moved. When we moved to our second apartment, he did much better about sleeping in his own room, but at this point he was 4 so I think he was becoming more independent and naturally wanted to sleep on his own.
With my dd and 2nd ds, getting them to sleep in their own rooms on their own was a challenge at first but I started early with advice from our former early stimulation teacher. Beforethat, I was sleeping in the room with the kids in their bed until they fell alseep, which was not working for me or dh. I finally did the CIO method. I put them to bed with our normal routine. The first night was the hardest but then by night 3, they were sleeping in their own beds in their room.