Post # 1
My boyfriend and I have been together for over 5 years. The last year I have been extremely antsy waiting for a proposal. We always talked about wanting a spring 2015 wedding, and buying a house that summer. But he never proposed and was adamant we needed to wait until an official proposal/engagement to do anything. A few weeks ago (like late January early Febraruy) he finally asked my father if he could have my late mothers center stone (as per my wishes). This morning we were talking about my BFF’s wedding and mostly about trivial stuff like how he’s going to get there. And I just became suddenly upset. I started crying (period any day now) and let it all pour out that I was upset that we were a year from when we wanted to get married, I know he has a ring, but he still had not proposed, nor had we done anything special or romantic as a couple in literally MONTHS.
So on my lunch he texts me and says we have dinner reservations at a fancy restaurant in our area. I’m assuming hes going to propose tonight now. I’m freaking out because A if he does it will not have been a surprise and basically only because I cried this morning. And B if he doesnt and I’m expecting it I’m worried i will get mad about it later.
Am I being ridiculous? Any thoughts/advice? I feel like such a brat because I cried for not getting a proposal, and now that it might happen I’m thinking ‘nooooo!’
This topic was modified 2 years, 9 months ago by LAX03.
Post # 2
My best advice is don’t get your hopes up, and stop thinking about it. Just go with the flow (easier said than done) go and plan to enjoy the night. If he already has a ring it’s not like you forced him to go out and buy one and do it today.
Post # 3
I think I’m just over thinking and being over emotional. I’m supposed to get my period tomorrow or Sunday so that probably explains my angst and ridiculous thought pattern.
Post # 4
I agree do NOT get your hopes up!! Maybe he’s just addressing the going out part you were venting about. I do of course really really hope he does for your sake. It’s an exciting time waiting and knowing it’s coming. Yes, it can be very frustrating as well. Just enjoy having time out with the man you love. Make every moment a happy one and not stress him out and that is when he will do it.
I kinda had the same situation. His time frame we talked about came and went. I knew he had the ring. He had it sitting on the dresser for over a month then one day it wasn’t there. Only to find out he put it in his drawer. Ugh. He started planning trips to the beach, dinners out..still nothing. One day I checked the box when he wasn’t home just to make sure it was in there and it was and so were directions to somewhere which i looked up and it was a nearby secluded waterfall. So I thought it was going to be there. Um..nope. He ended up doing it at home when I least expected it. I almost thought it was real at first. lol. Men! What cha gonna do?
Post # 5
LAX03: He already asked for the stone before this morning, so he wont be doing it just because you cried!
And you don’t know for sure it is tonight, maybe he just really heard you when you said you hadn’t done anything romantic in months – so it COULD be a surprise still.
Post # 6
LAX03: I knew FI had the ring for a few months before he proposed and I was losing my mind every time we made a plan to go somewhere due to nerves and excitement. We had several romantic dinners before the one where he did get down on one knee. Let yourself revel in the excitement of the possibility of it happening, but do not get noticeably down or pouty if it does not happen. He may be taking initiative to bring back a little “romance” before he proposes so he may not propose tonight, and if you get upset at his attempt at romance then it’s going to be disheartening for him.
When he does ask you absolutely need to enjoy it! Really take notice of how happy and overwhelming it is in that moment, and of course do not leave him hanging…remember to say YES! A friend of mine got so worked up and excited she snatched the ring up and immediately started calling/texting people without actually saying yes first! Also I would recommend not grabbing your phone immediately when it does happen…it’s obviously something you want to share because its exciting, but its a very special few minutes to spend with your man, I can’t explain the feeling exactly, but I am really glad we took that time for ourselves right after the proposal. FI and I just reveled in our meal, almost too excited to order/eat (he proposed on the walkway in front of the restaurant before we went in) and we just enjoyed this great news secret that we had before we shared it with everyone.
Congratulations on the pending engagement! Be sure to let us know how it goes
Post # 7
LAX03: Breathe! Definitely try (it’s hard) to not expect anything. Maybe he wants to take you to a fancy dinner to make you feel better (since you were upset) and do something romantic. If that’s the only reason he’s taking you to a nice dinner – that’s ok!! Enjoy it. If it happens, great but you don’t want to be upset or disappointed if it doesn’t. It’s easier said than done but these last few months before a proposal should be happy – you already know he wants to marry you, so try to be as patient as possible (it’s hard, I know!!) and just enjoy your great relationship!!
Post # 8
LAX03: Just enjoy urselves. U haven’t done anything romantic in months so just enjoy the night 🙂
Post # 9
LAX03: yes you are being ridiculous 🙂
In terms of tips, get all dolled up and be all long hair don’t care. If he knows how good he’s got it, he’ll lock it down. And if he doesn’t, you’ll look amazing and you can move forward from there.
I’m sure you’re smart and have a great personality and all that.
Post # 10
LAX03: It is ridiculous. Seriously if he wants to propose to you, then he will. You can’t force him to do it by crying like a child.
Post # 12
Congrats on your upcoming engagement! Enjoy this wonderful, exciting time in your life!!
Post # 13
Hi all. Thank you for the wonderful and kind words 🙂
He did propose last night! Im actually very upset about it because he was not in a good mood, it felt rushed, and was not romantic. He pulled out the box at dinner and just handed it to me over the table during dessert. Didn’t even say anything so I gave it back and said ‘I’m sorry there’s so many people here I don’t want to start crying in front of them.’
So he took it back and the second he walked in our apt he did the one knee thing and said ‘will you marry me?’ Obvi I said yes. And then he fell asleep less than 10 minutes later. He literally for up and went right to bed.
i realize that I sound absolutely insane. But you know you wait for that romantic loving moment for so long, and I feel like he did not out of love but just to placate me and because I was upset.
The he ring is beautiful though. He did a flawless job 🙂
thanks for all the advice everyone!
Post # 15
Congratulations!!! Please try to go forward from here. If all you do is “expect” you’re bound to be disappointed most of the time. If you can find the man you fell in love with and start to build again on that, I think you’ll be much happier. I’ve been married almost 32 years, it is going to have ups and downs. He did what you wanted, maybe not the WAY you wanted, but he did ask. Thank him, tell him you love him and can’t wait to be his wife. He’ll probably respond more to a positive, smiling fiance than one who he thinks he disappointed.
and your ring is beautiful!! again, congratulations!