(Closed) I think my friend is a pathological liar…

posted 5 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
647 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: November 2013

I have a friend that is like this only…different.

They’ve told stories like “I’ve got cancer in my abdomen” but then it dissappears. They’re a freshman in college but already accepted to the nursing program, studying cadavers the first semester then the next year they’re doing music. We were so suspicious that we actually looked this person up in the student directory and SURPRISE they weren’t there. There have been other things like imaginary crushes that are all of a sudden whisked back to their country of origin yet they have photos of them as well as high-paying jobs that never come about and big trips to foreign countries that never happen even though they’re paid “in full.” Fiance and I have learned to ignore it to an extent, they’re doing it for attention and so long as we’re not giving them the reaction they want they’ll eventually stop. Fiance read somewhere that you’re not supposed to confront a compulsive liar in the sense that you say “I know you’re lying” but to let them know in other ways such as asking a lot of questions and if they change stories act confused, etc because it’s a mental illness. We’re still friends with this person because they have few friends (probably because no one will put up with the lying) and so long as they don’t hurt us in anyway we don’t see a problem with it. Most of the stories they tell try to build them up someway and we suspect come from low self-esteem (ie they always come off as more successful, braver, smarter etc). All of these are signs of someone with the mental illness associated with being a compulsive liar, does your friend’s lying also do this or is it mostly excuses like the whole doctor thing?

Post # 5
87 posts
Worker bee
  • Wedding: October 2022

@chouette:  I had a friend that was almost exactly like yours, and somehow only a few of us could see it. As a psych major, I’m almost certain she had narcissitic personality disorder. She always had to be the center of attention and always had to “one up” everyone. Her stories were just illogical and ill-conceived most of the time. On top of that, she was always claiming that all of these men were falling in love with her, fawning over her, etc.. when in reality, I would talk to them about it and they hardly knew her/thought she was crazy.


A few examples of her craziness:


-Talking about getting my foot ran over by a vehicle, she responds with, “I had an emotionally abusive boyfriend too once. He ran over my head and chest with a car. I have a huge scar going from my chest to my belly button from the surgery.” Ummm.. okay. First of all, I think she would most likely be dead or at least severely injured from this accident. Second, no one else has ever heard of this happening, even friends that have known her for years. I’ve seen her in next to nothing and you guessed it.. no scar.


-She claimed for 2 years while she was living in the same city as us that she had a boyfriend she had been dating for several years and was extremely serious with. His facebook profile looked suspiciously fake and her calls and texts supposedly from him seemed off. We found out that he was in fact a real person when one of our mutual friends ran into him in another town. However, he had only met her a few times and they never dated. The facebook profile was not his, and he had never called or texted her, but he did say that she was obsessed with him.


-A year after the first boyfriend incident, she moved to another town and came back for a visit. She claimed to have a new boyfriend that was a firefighter from Canada and was even in a Canadian magazine that had firemen for each month. She showed us a picture of him and claimed that they had been together a few months and he was going to propose in a few months. So we asked how they met, and she said that he was in town (in North Dakota) on business…….. isn’t a fireman’s business to, ya know, stay in the town he works in and fight fires? I’ve never heard of an international fireman convention in the great state of ND, but if there is one.. hell, I’m in!


 -These are just a few examples, there are many more. They just never add up. Anytime someone tells a story, she has a bigger and better one. If one of our friends caught a tournament-winning fish, she caught a world record-setting marlin off the coast of Montana… if you get what I’m saying (yes, I know there is no coast in Montana.. that’s the point!).


Post # 6
4659 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: August 2013

I know a guy who consistently claims he has an allergy to mint that causes him to forget how to speak English as soon as he smells it. He’ll speak French or Hebrew for like half an hour. I’m no stranger to weird allergies (I’m allergic to the sun) but come onnnn there’s no way that’s possible.

Post # 7
845 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: February 2014

@Bebealways:  Ohhhhh dear – that’s hilarious! But yeah, probably complete codswallop.

Post # 8
1041 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

I briefly dated someone in my teens who told strange stories like that.

He also heavily embellished retellings of events that I WAS PRESENT FOR. If it was in a group, he’d tell it in front of me, expecting me to back him up.

I asked him about it, and he reacted bizarrely.I think he actually convinced himself that his version of events was accurate.

Either way, I couldn’t roll with punches like those, and ended the relationship.

Post # 9
7198 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2013

I think with her lies I would be able to keep up a friendship.

I had a friend who told horrendous lies such as: being raped, mom has cancer, kids she babysits dying. Ridiculous stuff that I found out want true. I ended up cutting off our relationship because I just couldn’t handle that much made up drama.

I have another friend like yours. She tells me things that don’t make a lot of sense. When I compare notes with other friends we can usually put the story together. However, these lies are not dramatic and don’t affect my life the way my other friend did. She is also a great listener and gives honest opinions (which is weird because she lies about other things) so I will definitely not be cutting off our relationship. If her lies don’t stress you out and cause drama I honestly wouldn’t even say anything.

Post # 11
2610 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I also have a friend like this too. She usually does it to cover up someone’s actions or to try and not hurt feelings.

Like your friend saying she was going to the doctor and instead went to a concert. My friend would do similar things because she didn’t want the awkwardness of saying she was going to something when I wasn’t invited – even if it honestly would not have been awkward to me.

Now she often does it to make her husband look better. For example they got in a huge fight and he threw his wedding ring out of a moving vehicle. She told me this when it happened since she was understandably upset. Later though she said he lost it cutting the grass and needed a new one. She likely forgot she told me the real story so just repeated her new cover story.

It’s unfortunate but I have just learned to deal with it.

Post # 12
201 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: September 2012


My good friend in high school was like that. She would lie about the most random stuff, like where she was and who she was with. Lying about things her very serious boyfriend said and did. It seemed like telling the truth would just be easier. She’d lie about bigger stuff too, like her parents divorcing (although that one did eventually happen), what colleges she got into, having tickets to an NSYNC concert (still bummed that one was a lie Smile), etc. It makes me so sad because she is such a cool person! If she would just be herself and stop lying I’d probably still be friends with her.

Post # 13
1729 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: June 2013

@Diamondgurl:  I work with a girl like this and it’s very annoying. No one trusts her for s**t anymore and she’s really brought in on herself. Typically it’s mundane things like you, but sometimes it’s work-related to cover her own ass. I read some articles on line that say that white liars (like these two peeps)typically start lying at a very young age to avoid punishment from overly strict (or even abusive) parents/caregivers and some never grow out of it because it becomes second nature and it feels weird to them not to lie or embelish. They need professional help to find out why they do it and learn to stop.

Post # 15
2638 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: November 2006

I think this is called compulsive lying, not pathological lying, as it doesn’t seem that she lies to manipulate anyone or because she stands to gain anything from it.

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