I think our friendship of 15 years just ended…

posted 3 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1835 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: March 2013

@petalpetal:  It doesn’t sound like it was very much of a friendship to begin with, sometimes it’s best to walk away from relationships if there’s nothing coming out of them. I’ve had to walk away from a friendship that started in 8th grade when I realized she didn’t put any effort if it didnt involve her

Post # 4
Member
6812 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: June 2014

Oh good lordy, if I stopped talking to friends everytime we fought, I think I’d have none left. When you spend a lot of time with people and people have different personalities and some people have strong ones (me – I’ll admit it), people end up fighting and sometimes they say hurtful things. If you care enough to save the friendship, I would say that you give it some time to cool off and then you reach out to her and say that you don’t want the friendship to end or be ruined by one fight. Although, ask yourself if you want to – I’ve definitely gotten rid of friends when they’ve been one sided, selfish, negative, etc. I think friends should bring positive things into your life and if they don’t, then it’s time to ditch them.

Post # 5
Member
573 posts
Busy bee

It’s hard but sometimes you comes to find a friend is no longer a friend. I have a friend who had a boy friend and I was single.  For 5 years we were “BFF” and we supported each other.  Until one day I finally found SO, and 1 day….ONE DAY of being in a relationship she accused me of “cancelling her out” in favour of SO….ONE DAY.  No saying how pleased she was for me to have found someone, no questioning about how he is, who is is, what he does, how we met.  And then she gave me the silent treatment.  And this went on for some time.  I realised then how one-sided the friendship was all along.  I was fulfilling her need for a BFF but as soon as she thought I was unavailable to her (though I would have given her the same amount of attention and support as before being in a relationship with SO) she effectively (to use her word) “cancelled” our friendship by accusing me of doing so.  SHe didn’t even give me a chance to defend myself and call her out on it.  I realised it wasn’t worth it; she was needy and patheric that she could just forget all the support I’d given her over the years.  Why she was like this, I don’t know, because she had her SO all along too.

Lesson learned; people will just drop you like a hot rock.  The thing to remember is to vlaue your own convictions or lifestyle, and realise you can build new friendships with other people.

Post # 7
Member
1749 posts
Bumble bee

She’s not the person you were friends with anymore. Maybe she will be one day, but until then I think it’s best that you’re not friends. It’s not doing you any good. It probably isn’t doing her any good either.

Sometimes friendships just have to end or go on an indefinite hiatus, especially ones that start during childhood. I’m sure that even though your friendship may have ended, her family will feel the same about you. 

Post # 8
Member
2355 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: September 2014

If you have seen her once in the last three years, then this friendship has actually been over for while. It happens. You just have to accept it and move on, and you both probably need to grow up as well. Real, grown women do not get into yelling matches or get drunk at a family event like a baptism. It was the right thing for you to walk away.

Post # 9
Member
1987 posts
Buzzing bee

Don’t look at the quantity of the relationship (15 years), but the quality. This is not someone you need in your life. True friends raise each other up, not put each other down. I would cut her loose and never look back. 

 

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