- 4 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I posted awhile ago about how thankful I was for one of my good friends who is one of my BMs.
I was bragging about how she was going above and beyond and helping me out with SO many aspects of the wedding because she’s a graphic designer and pretty good seamstress.
She offered to custom make our invitations (shower and wedding), thank yous, table numbers.
She is making custom “movie” posters of me and my fiance since we’re getting married in a theater.
She offered to do alterations on the other BM dresses.
All of this extra effort is saving me SO much money and SO many headaches. And in the beginning, I kept offering her dinner, wine, etc. but she kept refusing and laughing and saying that she loved helping and doing this kind of stuff.
(And I did – and still do- plan to get her an extra special “something” after the wedding to say thank you).
But my shower was this past weekend and she seemed really distant and annoyed the entire time. Like she couldn’t wait for it to be over and she just wanted to get out of there. She kept talking about all the stuff she needed to do AFTER the shower. And leading up to the shower, she kept posting things on FB about being so stressed out and “extra” busy, etc.
(she sews custom costumes, dresses, etc on the side and makes a TON of money doing it. But she said she had to “take a break” from that and I have a feeling it was because of my shower/wedding. And I have a feeling she’s pissed about having to put that stuff aside for my stuff).
The thing is …. I never ASKED or EXPECTED her to do this stuff for me. She OFFERED. And my expectations haven’t changed. I haven’t asked for anything new at all – I’ve kept everything simple.
But I stumbled across a comment she left on a friend’s FB the other day about how busy/stressed out she was and how she “couldn’t wait until certain obligations were over with.” She even went so far as to reference Greenday’s Wake Me Up When September Ends (my wedding is in September.)
Like …. way to be subtle.
I don’t know what to do. I know being a BM can be stressful but… again, she offered. And I don’t feel like I’m being demanding or anything. If I call/text her, I tell her “whenever she has a chance” and I’ve told her that if she feels like she CAN’T do something to tell me.
But she just keeps smiling and nodding even though deep down I feel like she’s checked out.
Should I say/do something???