Post # 1
My Fiance and I finally went to mass today and I think we’ve found our church!
However, I’m a little worried, as their website says you must contact the priest at least 6 months before you plan to get married (I don’t have a date, but want to get married by this fall) – but on their printed out bulletin that was handed out at mass, it says you must contact the priest 1 YEAR in advance!
My mother seems to think we might be able to get by with less than a year, because we have already been toghether a very long time. But I dont’ know. For those of you that have gotten married…if you communicate to the priest that you’ve been toghether for a while, would they be more lenient on the amount of time you must wait???
Post # 3
At my church the bulletin always says you must have the first meeting 6 months before. I think that all you can do is be very kind and let them know that you realize it is past six months but that you are very interested in getting married there on your date. May as well ask.
Have you taken your marriage prep course? At my church they were insistent that we had that done before our first meeting.
Post # 4
no, we have not taken marriage prep yet. I thought there was an order to this, and that your priest would let you know, after you meet, when you should take it.
Post # 5
The norm is to inform the priest 6 months ahead of time. They may be stating a year either because they book a lot of weddings or because they’re trying to solve the problem of brides booking their reception site only to find that the church isn’t available on the date they wish to marry.
I would contact them and mention the that their website and bulliten say two different things and ask them which one is the most accurate and what would be required for you to arrange your marriage at their parish or if its even an option. If you are a member of a different Catholic parish in the area, be aware that Catholics are required to get married in their own parishes. As such, you’ll need to get permission from your pastor unless you decide to switch your membership. If you’re not registered anywhere, they will want you to register at their parish, as they are not a venue. Getting married is simply another sacrament and it can be rather looked down upon to decide you want to get married at a church simply because its beautiful and then never intend on setting foot inside the place ever again.
Post # 6
It depends on the size of the parish. Some parishes have wedding coordinators who handle the details in the beginning before you meet with the priest.
Post # 7
It all depends on the parish.
We joined the parish 8 months out, and he gave us a small list of things we will have to do before the wedding: marriage prep, paperwork, baptismal certificates and … go to church.
the only thing in this list that had a timeline was the baptismal certificate and it has to be signed and dated within 6 months of the wedding.
we just did our marriage prep this weekend! it was a one day retreat. I’m blogging about the experience here: http://crosscountrywed.blogspot.com
Post # 8
“if you communicate to the priest that you’ve been toghether for a while, would they be more lenient on the amount of time you must wait???”
– I don’t think it necessairly had anything to do with how long you’ve been together. The reason the Church asks that you do so well in advanced is for the following reason(s).
1) You have enough time to plan properly
2) You have enough time to schedule the pre-cana courses (plays into #1)
3) The priest has an opportunity to get to know you, provide counsel, and some words of wisdom. This does not happen overbight.
4) Church wants to get to know you well enough to see if you are marrying with the right intentions, that you are open to the fundamentals of the Sacrament (i.e. raising your child Catholic, avoiding the use of Birth Control, understand that in GOD’s eyes there is no such thing as divorce)
These are some of the reasons. The time of courting has nothing to do with it, because people could have been dating for years upon years, but that does not make for a happy/successful marriage. A person could be in a happy, loving relationship of 6 months, or on the flip side, be in an abusive relationship of 10 years. Surely the latter is not conducive for a healthy marraige.
Post # 9
I would contact the church ASAP if you are really interested. That way you will get the information you need from there to carry on with your plans.
Post # 10
@meganrose: we’ve contacted the church, and the priest we spoke to said he already has like 7 or 8 weddings this year, so we should try to get in touch with the other priest. Ugh 🙁 I really hope this works out!
Post # 11
I’ll keep my fingers crossed. We faced similar difficulties because we are trying to do a wedding from afar.
Hopefully another priest is available for you!