(Closed) I thought I was going to avoid family drama but I guess not….rant

posted 5 years ago in Family
  • poll: Should they be part of my wedding?
    Yes. It's right to be equal with sides of family : (2 votes)
    7 %
    I wouldn't make them bridesmaids maybe you can make them.... (Explain) : (3 votes)
    11 %
    No. They aren' : (23 votes)
    82 %
  • Post # 3
    4755 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: May 2012

    I straight up wouldn’t give a shit and a half. I’d say I’m sorry my bridal party my choice. Then tell my mom to think of something for them to do like hand out programs before ceremony (similar to ushers)

    Post # 4
    2287 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: Central Park

    Maybe they can do readings or be ushers instead?

    Post # 5
    273 posts
    Helper bee
    • Wedding: November 2012

    Do what YOU want!! I learned the hard way! A year of tears and arguments happened then MrN & I decided to just say screw it and plan a small wedding and tell ppl afterwards!

    We had only a Bridesmaid or Best Man & MoH stand up for us, I had 2 guests attend our wedding who were originally in our wedding party (MrN’s sister & my oldest friend) and neither of them were upset.

    I say tell your mom & aunts to back off, its NOT their wedding.

    Post # 6
    705 posts
    Busy bee
    • Wedding: June 2013

    I feel for you! I am having a similar problem with Future Mother-In-Law and her daughter. She is guilting me because i had not included her in the bridal party, and is upset/mad that i did not include her (a little background, she is a person with special needs. The main reason i did not ask her was because i know that she will have a hard time sitting still or quiet for the duration of the ceremony, and i know that she would be more comfortable sitting with her mom then up at the front with all eyes on her. I tried to explain that to Future Mother-In-Law with no results) She cries and brings it up as horrible moments to try and continue to guilt me or my Fiance into giving in, but i am sticking to my guns. That is what i suggest you do to. It is hard i know, but if they will not listen to reason then there is not much else that you can do!

    Good luck!

    Post # 7
    1902 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: July 2012

    @MrsN2Be:  I totally agree. I tried to make my wedding the way the rest of the family wanted it, and I just ended up in tears every other day. Don’t do it. It really, truly, does suck. Technically, the bridesmaids should be women you are close to. If you’re closer to the cousins on your dad’s side, then they can be your bridesmaids – no one else gets to pick who you’re closer to

    Post # 9
    2299 posts
    Buzzing bee
    • Wedding: June 2015

    @Klein2bReidy:  you don’t haven’t spoken to them in 2 years. case closed, they’re not bridesmaids! repeat ‘we haven’t spoken in two years, we are not close’ as many times as it takes for it to sink in.


    Post # 10
    3771 posts
    Honey bee
    • Wedding: August 2013 - Brookfield Zoo

    Don’t give in the the pressure.  I would just explain to your cousins or to your aunts the reasons you gave us — your cousins seem either really busy or long distance, and being a bridesmaid can take up a lot of time, requires some commitment in dress fittings, events, etc, and you’re simply not as close to them, unfortunately.  Don’t give in!!  You will be much happier and stress free if you don’t!

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