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You're definitely not the only one! We had tons of 'when we get married' and similar talks... with no ring!
Is your "wedding" folder on your desktop? Or is it tucked away in a subfolder... :-)
Erica - we did too! I promise, it will come when you least expect it!! :)
and mrbee ... mine was wide open for all (specifically one person) to see 
Sounds like me about a month ago...! I joined the boards a couple weeks before I got engaged and now i'm planning and blogging away! I KNOW its hard, but your time will come :)
I think it was almost 2 years of us talking about getting married before he actually proposed. It's been a full year of me looking at wedding stuff online and emailing them to myself. I didn't keep a folder... just emails.
That was me! We had even picked a date and had started planning, but he didn't want to call us "officially" engaged until he had given me the ring.
I knew it was coming, but I had this weird superstition that if I talked about it, looked at wedding related materials, or even so much thought about it that I'd jinx the whole operation.
Looking back on it, I realize those thoughts were silly, and that I could have probably benefitted from some understanding of what to look for in vendors etc. I became much better at negotiating etc half-way through the process.
So I say research away now. You are only helping yourself in the long run! (And right now it's all fun, no pressure, so enjoy!)
I'm not waiting but I do/did have all my wedding stuff on my computer and well I didn't back it up somewhere and LOST it all. So make sure to Back your stuff up or you might be kicking yourself if you don't
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I'm sure you're not the only one. There is a pretty large number of people who find themselves pre-planning their wedding before even getting engaged. It's such a big industry that you can't help but oooh and ahhh over the details and tailor it to what you want. I actually think it's a good thing - you'll be super prepared and hopefully it'll be a breeze for you !!! :D
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You're definitely not alone! I have a wedding folder as well!
My boyfriend talks about marrying me constantly, but just won't buy the dang ring!! In all honesty it's extremely frustrating. I wish he'd either do something or completely stop talking about it. It messes with your head, you know?
I had some many links saved in my favorites and my fi would see me looking at stuff and he would be like what are you looking at so I would show him and he would just say oh. Oh what the hell. He was just trying to mess with me and of course it worked.
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you're definitely not alone! i have a folder on my computer [in my documents folder - not hidden, mr. bee. LOL] AND a binder AND more links and stuff on my google notebook, which is so freaking handy, btw. the boy is welcomed to look through them but he's waiting until we're officially engaged.
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Good to know I'm not the only crazy with a wedding folder on her computer. My boyfriend would give me a 'deer-in-the-headlights' look if he knew. We've been together for over 2 and a half years but I probably won't be seeing any shinies for another 3 years. x( The fact that one of my friends is getting married is not helping. LoL
I was in the same situation before I got married. We talked and talked but he never asked the question... while waiting, I did the same thing, browsed online for ideas (that's how I have found WB) also made a folder in my computer.. then next thing I know, we are setting the meeting of our parents, told them of our plans, no engagement ring, no crazy preparations and 2 weeks after, we got married.
Just take it easy and enjoy every minute you spend with your partner... your day will come!
Take care!
Um, yeah. I'm totally there with you. My guy and I are quickly approaching the four year mark. Last March we went and picked out rings. A year ago! I certainly thought it would have come by now. However, I'm in no hurry as I am finishing up my degree (school full time until July) and I work full time! So I'm just enjoying gathering inspirations *much of it from the bees* !
I am with you ladies! When I saw this topic I just had to look as me and the fiance didn't get engaged til we were together 5.5 years!! Way too long for me...but he is the type who just has to do things on his time. We were "hanging out" no kisses no nothing for 6 months before we really ended up together! It was maddening! This month makes 6 years for us..and luckily I'm getting married in Sept! If not he'd be in huge trouble by now! It was a tough wait, but soo worth it!
I do wish I had checked at least a few things prior to being engaged- dresses maybe, boards like this..I was too afraid of kharma and jinxing to do anything prior!~
Hang in there!! My fiance and I were together for 6 years before becoming engaged and there were (many) times when I thought nothing was ever going to happen. The wait only will make the time when you're actually engaged that much sweeter in the end :)
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oh my gosh that was me about 3 months ago.. we talked about "when we get married", or "our wedding will be...." and so forth. we had been together for so long that it literally was just a waiting game for me... i even knew where he was hiding the ring!!! but when he finally decided to propose, it was perfect timing, you'll see!
This is so weird, I didn't even know that there was a waiting board! I'm definitely waiting, my boyfriend makes fun of me for checking WB so much, even though I don't have a folder or any real plans.
He keeps saying we're waiting until the economy gets better :(
Dont worry you are not the only one, I had it on my computer too.
And it helped me a lot, when he proposed, because I had it all written down, on what to do.
I don't have a folder anywhere, just some saved pictures here an there. And an account on some websites to get ideas of vendors and pricing etc. While i've been with my beau for about 2.5 years and I'm still waiting... I figure I should be planning and saving so I don't have to worry so much about money!
We had the date set, the deposit on the place, the save the dates bought, and my dress bought--all before the ring! The ring was secondary to the commitment for which we were planning.
Don't give up hope! We both knew we were going to get married eventually, but I had been bugging him that I needed enough time to plan before we got married (we knew when we wanted to). He kept telling me that it wasn't going to happen for a while, but it turns out that he just wanted it to be a surprise. Finally I stopped bugging him and about a month later it happened! And he had been so convincing telling me it wasn't going to happen that I was totally surprised!
@avdillard0110 - you make me feel like i'm behind on planning with my own little wedding folder on my computer!! haha! living in nc, i know how the best venues in a-ville get booked up quickly, though, so good for you for getting on the ball!!
i'm right there with you ladies - i've been stuffing my wedding folder with ideas for about 8-12 months now and i might be getting a proposal in the next month - if all goes as planned!
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I also waited six years before my FI proposed. I was planning since the third year and waiting and waiting and waiting... then one day it finally happened. The moment was over so quickly and I hate to admit that I can't even remember the words he said. I was just so excited. When your time comes and I know it will, you must try very hard to remember all the words that he says, every single word, because it only happens once and it's over in a heartbeat.
Good luck and be patient. I am sure he has a good reason to wait.
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OMG this is killing me too. I know he will ask me. I know the ring is being made as we speak because the boy can't lie and told me he needed to "run an errand"---haha. I told him he needs to learn to lie about this one thing so I don't know when it's done, when he's checking on the creation process, etc. He just smiled and said he'll try. Now that we live together I think it'll be even harder.
I have websites saved in my favorites, I have pictures saved in a file on my desktop and I have stuff I save to a thumb drive while I'm at work. It's everywhere and I'm loving it. The only thing I'm hating, that ceremony spots to just use their grass are asking for $250 - 500 and that a venue is asking for $2000 or more and not including food. I'm not cheap but I also know my budget will not be in the five figures. *sigh*
My FI and I were together for 9..or maybe 8 (yes 8! I said 9 somewhere else-I don;t even know it was so long!) years before he proposed this past December. I maybe briefly thought about dresses once when my sister got married but planning a wedding seemed so stressful to me that i didn't even want to be bothered until it was time. You're probably way ahead of me!
Wow! There are so many of us in the same boat! It is really frustrating when you you live togther and have been together for awhile. Especially when other people ask..."Oh you guys aren't engaged yet?" I think I have perfected my glare now because of this! I have a folder in doc's and online... Hopefully by my birthday in August he will pop the question!
The ring is very soon to come with us..it's up to me as to when the day (marriage) will be. I want a minimum of five to six months with the official engagement thingie going on (everybody including our families and friends all know we're getting married already..so I'm the unofficial official FI!).
What will determine WHEN we get married is the date the ring actually goes on my hand..I want a certain timeframe to marry, and want certain months..I have to admit, I'm not going to be a winter bride, as I want an outdoor wedding and it will be either late this summer or fall (up until october is latest for 2009) or it will be this time next year in 2010 or a bit later. There's more than wedding planning going on, there are two households that will have to merge and alot of logistics along the way.
We're having a sit down discussion tomorrow evening on our "date night" (my son is visiting his grandparents for a few days right now for his spring break) and get alot of the timeline officially out of the way. He says we're getting married in 2009..for me, it will be dependent on when we're in MY opinion officially engaged. I refuse to put any money down and I don't want him to spend any monies either on a wedding unless we're 100 percent engaged..some of you know I had a cousin who was jilted at the 11th hour before her wedding and never had the "official" e ring..I will not ever do that.
I think being prepaired is a good thing. I have been planning my wedding since i was 18 when my first propsal came, no wedding though. Now I am planning weddings as a career, it goes to show its a great thing to do something you love
Much love
Serenity
I was a pre-planner as well. We had ideas about dates, and potential colors. But we started doing hard core planning since I got engaged. I mainly just saved ideas that I liked and thought would work for what we were discussing. I had a wedding folder, (that was in a sub folder).
Waiting is tough!
Last year, I was going NUTS because for the first 6 months of the year we started talking about "when we get married" / "what we want for the wedding" - and he hadn't asked me yet!!!! it was maddening! He even told me where he really wanted to have it at (and I agreed, and it's the place we are having it at next year).
But finally - when we went on vacation (camping / went to Cedar Point) he asked. This was June 30!!! seriously 6 months of "when" without the ring.
i was like that as well! i even had a potential date in mind, so waiting for the ring was getting painful! haha... but yeah, FI couldn't really afford a ring for a while, and when he got it, it was such a surprise! :)
Oh we had it all practically planned (or so we thought) for so long. then it happened and i changed a lot of things. hehe...
I was getting so impatient, haha. We had been together for over 4 years and it felt like forever when I felt like I could marry him after the first date. Your time will come and when it does, it will be perfect.
You're not the only one. I had a wedding folder of ideas in my laptop for two years before he proposed, lol. I called my folder "Dream folder".... meaning stuff that I didn't think would come true any time soon. Now it's a reality, lol. Just hang in there, your dream will turn reality in no time :)
My wedding is pretty much planned... w/ the exception of do we want it here and big or small and destination (Long story short-small destination would solve potential guest list issues). We're working on 5 years now and marriage/kids is definately a nearly every day topic... ha... even his parents refer to themselves as my future in-laws. We just can't afford the ring or the wedding really... ATM... probably will change in a month or two... but yes, it is hard to remain patient and wait when you know this is it! Especially as all those around you are getting engaged and married (my case). Its okay though... lol... my ring will be better! :p I can wait...
I am going crazy waiting! We have been together three years and we picked out a ring 3 weeks ago. I am trying so hard not to say anything but he is just the kind of guy who will delay because he knows you want it. He says he is excited about it and wants it to be special, so hopefully your guy is like that. Mine is totally scared because of the pressure he puts on himself to make it perfect. I just think about how this is a huge moment for him too and he has the hard part of the job!
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Wow. This post is the story of my life!!! Im glad to see there are others out there like myself, and also it is encouraging hearing words of encouragement from the engaged bees! I too think im driving my man crazy as well. We have been having the "when we get married" conversation for about a year now, we have gone ring shopping a couple of times, and he (yes on his own) has even been sending me pics of rings asking me what i think about the style. BUT THEN, i get ancy and we have the "when" conversation, and he tells me that he really can't afford the ring he wants to get me right now....which leads me into feelings of major dissapointment!! Most recently (2 nights ago), I gave my boy an ultimatum, but not in the USUAL sense...i told him that if he doesnt propose by NYE 2010, I WILL PROPOSE TO HIM!!!!!! He was blown away because he realized that i really do want to spend the rest of my life with him, not just run around with a ring on my finger to show off. So of course, being the man he is, he said "Well, if you do that, I will decline, because I AM supposed to propose to you, NOT the other way around." So, of course after a couple of glasses of wine, Im a mess, trying to not ball my eyes out in front of him like a 2 year old. So I dont know what to think, he has also said that when he does propose, I will never see it coming, so a lot of his talk about not being able to afford a ring right now might have to do with him trying to throw me off. Who knows! Either way, I am trying to stay as positive as possible, without losing my mind because I know the day will come (hopefully sooner than later!!)
PS I HAVE BEEN STALKING THIS WEBSITE FOR THE PAST FEW MONTHS AND ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT!!!!!!
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We have talked about everything, the date, place, colors...no ring :( We talk about it almost every day. I have everything planned in my "wedding" folder on my computer...at least I'm not the only one waiting and hoping...