- 2 years ago
Before getting engaged, I was the girl that frequently pinned wedding things on Pinterest. I watched shows like My Fair Wedding and excitedly thought about the ideas I would use for my own wedding. My mind would come up with cute DIY projects that I couldn’t wait to make. And yet… after a perfect proposal, the stress quickly piled up and has made me overwhelmed. I have a stack of wedding magazines that family and friends bought for me after the wedding, and I haven’t opened a single one. I have no desire to. And I have no desire to pin anything on Pinterest. Or watch wedding TV.
I have been engaged for two months and will be getting married next July; it’s under a year away. I would have preferred a longer engagement but we decided on a summer wedding, in the hopes that I will get a full-time teaching position. I feel the time crunch and I can’t handle it. I have a hard time making decisions (as evidenced by my inability to even pick out which color shirt to buy when I go shopping) and I’m a perfectionist. Because of that tendency, I find myself overthinking everything, but I don’t know how to stop myself from that since it’s something I have always struggled with.
At this point, we have a venue (sometimes I love it, sometimes I have venue regret), a church, and a band/DJ. I can’t seem to pick out my bridal party because I debate What’s Right and What I Want to the point that I lose sight of my own true feelings. Day-to-day, I find myself saying “Tomorrow, I will…” and yet, I don’t get it to it or can’t accomplish it – and I wind up feeling more and more like my head is spinning. When it gets to be too much, I often end up crying to my fiance. Each time that happens, I feel guilty and extremely upset that I’m not enjoying this time… because I want to. I know it will go by quickly… and I don’t want to miss out.
To make matters worse, I simply can’t move fast enough for my FI’s mother. The minute I feel better and like we are on track with the wedding, she finds a way to slap me back to “reality” and make me feel like we have done nothing. Comment after comment, opinion after opinion, and literally – once we accomplish something, her next question is always “So what’s next?” Then there’s my fiance’s father, who is a complete pessimist at times.
With in-law troubles (they can have their own post…) and the pressure I’m feeling (admittedly, a lot of it from myself…), I just don’t know what to do and how to handle this. I was supposed to be the girl that loved to plan her wedding… and instead, I’m becoming increasingly stressed out. I feel like I need a break from wedding planning and everything related to it – but like there isn’t time to take that break.
I don’t really know what responses I’m expecting to get on this. I hope someone can relate to this.