Post # 1
Yikes. That is what FMIL said yesterday as we were driving back from a family dinner out. We were talking about deadmau5 and how he proposed over twitter, and I said to SO “when you ask me, please don’t do it over the internet.” His mom then says “I thought you already asked her. But you mean, with a ring and the knee and everything?”
I love how accepted into the family I am, but on the other hand it just makes me feel like there is going to be zero excitement when the proposal actually comes. Everyone already talks to us about our wedding like we’re already engaged, so the engagement isn’t going to be a big deal. That bums me out a bit. Does anyone else have people thinking that you are already engaged?
Post # 3
Sounds alot like me and FH.
We dated for a long time and everyone knew we would get married. They knew we were planning on it. We had a date before I had a ring.
Our families knew it was coming. We had opened a joint savings account and started saving money. Started saving up household items in my parents’ garage.
I felt like we were ALREADY engaged and I just wanted the ring so I didn’t feel weird about all the planning.
But then BAM…he proposed and EVERYTHING changed. Trust me, I know you already feel “engaged” now, but it is SO special for it to be a reality. With the ring, the congratulations, everything. It is a whole other world. 🙂
Just be patient and savor your time right now. You KNOW it’s coming but trust me, you’ll never have this era back!!! I kind of miss it, myself. 🙂
Post # 4
No. . . though occasionally I wonder about my SO’s family, because his mother used to make comments about us getting engaged a lot, and she hasn’t for years now.
And, the last time I went to see my parents, I was wearing my favorite silver and tourmaline ring on my left hand middle finger. It’s nice and sparkly, though dark green. I’ve been wearing it for about 6 years, but for some reason my father seemed to notice it for the first time one evening and he said “What’s that ring? Does it mean anything?” ARRRGH. Dad, it is ON THE WRONG FINGER and I’ve had it for YEARS!! And NO, we aren’t engaged yet. And if we were going to be, my dad would know before I would since he has expressly communicated to me that he expects to have his permission be asked, and my SO knows that.
Aren’t families annoying sometimes?
For fun, here’s my hand with the pretty ring I have that has nothing to do with my relationship:
Post # 5
@NerdCampLove: Look at it as a good thing. It’s wonderful how you’re accepted into the family. I don’t expect people to make a big deal when SO and I get engaged since we’ve been living together for quite a while now.
Post # 6
@TogetherThroughLife: Thank you so much for you insight!
I guess we should really look on the bright side; people thinking that we are already engaged or that a ring is an engagement ring means that they acknowledge the commitment in our relationships.
Post # 7
@NerdCampLove: I think so. That is how people felt about me and my FH before we were “oficially” engaged. No one was surprised. 🙂
Post # 8
I can see where that would make you feel a bit rubbish – but I bet you anything when you have the ring on your finger and its “official” official, they will be delighted and you will get the reaction you want. You never know, that could have been his mum trying to give him a wee nudge haha (secret agent MIL). I think it’s great that she’s that supportive of your relationship and fingers crossed they go wild when you announce it 🙂
Post # 9
I know how you feel. Everyone talks about our wedding like its a for sure thing despite the lack of a ring. Heck, WE talk about wedding plans too. My mom even introduced SO as my fiancee to an aunt and i quickly corrected her. Its nice that they take the relationship seriously but i want to use the titles when they are official 🙂
Post # 10
Right after I got engaged, I called one of my closest friends to tell her, and she was like, “I thought you were already engaged!” I was pretty taken aback, but then I realized that people have different ideas of what engaged means. My FI and I had been talking about marriage for a while before he proposed. To me, a proposal = engaged, but to my friend, agreeing to get married = engaged. Either way, she was still excited for me 🙂