I told someone too much about our marriage; any way to remedy?

posted 3 years ago in Emotional
Post # 3
2915 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: August 2013 - Wynn Las Vegas

Let it go. Good luck with everything.

Post # 4
478 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2014

Leave it. I feel if you try and say anything it will make it worse.

Post # 5
4076 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: November 1999

Next time you get together with your friend, you could buy her coffee and just tell her that you are glad she is there, and hope she didnt feel too burdened with hearing some of the darker things you have to deal with. You can thank her for being a friend, who can keep your confidence. It may bring you guys closer together.

Post # 6
7630 posts
Bumble Beekeeper
  • Wedding: January 2013

Do you see this woman often? If so I would apologize for putting her in an awkward position (since she knows your DH) and say you appreciate her listening. Then move on! 

Post # 7
9412 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper

@0252scholm:  I would just let it go rather than draw more attention to the issue. The only way you can remedy it is to never do it again. 

Post # 8
1535 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: July 2015

I’ve had a lot of friends give me details of their relationships, when they are struggling. I, personally, don’t mind. I want to be there for my friends if they need me. She may not feel weird about what you have said

Post # 9
649 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2012

@memo:  +1. If I were your friend, I would feel touched that you trusted me to talk to me about something so personal.

It’s good to have someone you can talk to, especially in an emotional moment! Why do you feel embarrassed–that you disclosed personal details, or because you made your friend uncomfortable? 

I don’t think you should be embarrassed. It makes me sad that we (as a society) are so ashamed to talk about these types of things, particularly mental illness. It’s so sad that we stigmatize mental health (and don’t get me started on our face-saving about having picture perfect marriages and lives!).

I don’t think you need to acknowledge it–your friend probably understands. I wish you the best with your husband and finding someone you do feel comfortable talking to.

Post # 10
5987 posts
Bee Keeper
  • Wedding: June 2010

@0252scholm:  whats said is done. I would maybe apologize to her and let her know that you are embarassed but you appreciate her being there for you. 

are you worried she is going to share this information with someone? or are you just embarassed of sharing so much intimate details?

Post # 11
2878 posts
Sugar bee

Let it go. Everybody can have moments of weaknesses and I don’t mind if my friends tell me. Of course, if it was all the time I would eventually encourage them to go to see someone who is more neutral and will be able to help them solve their issues or deal with them, better than I could (ex.: therapist), but every couple goes through struggle times and your DH’s mental illness is something that is part of your daily life with him. A good friend can understand it can become more difficult emotionally from time to time, so I wouldn’t go back and try to re-explain everything. But when you feel better, tell your friend. If they’re like me, they tend to worry much about others, so knowing it is going better now, is really appreciated as a friend. 🙂

Post # 13
2429 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: June 2009

@0252scholm:  Although I don’t know specifics about your situation, I encourage you to look up your local chapter of NAMI, an organization dealing specifically with mental illness. They often have support groups for partners and families, and I know many find it helpful to have connections with people who understand what they’re going through.

Sending you thoughts of positive energy and hope things get better!

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