Post # 1
My Fiance is in his 40s and I am in my 30s, so we’re both pretty well established in who we are. We dated for five years before we were engaged and we’re getting married next August. We’ve both lived by ourselves for around a decade, and we still do. We want to buy a place, but in order to save up the money for the downpayment as fast as possible I’m planning on moving into his place (it’s a better location in a safer neighborhood), putting a bunch of our stuff (mainly our books) in storage, which will allow us to save as much as possible as fast as possible for our home.
I made the mistake of mentioning to my opinionated and controlling mother that I was a bit nervous about moving in because of the adjustment (even though I’m over there most nights already). And she jumped on it saying that we definatly shouldn’t move in together and it would be a disaster.
Just because I have a bit of nervousness about this stage of my life doesn’t mean that I don’t want to do it. I think that she just wants to be controlling as usual and I hate that I can’t actually talk to her about things. Seriously I think I’d be a bit worried if I wasn’t nervous at all, I mean it’s a big step. Any thoughts?
Post # 3
How could it be a disaster if you already spend most of your time there anyway? You’re not rushing into anything, considering you’ve been dating for many years now. Plus, you’re going to live together in the future, this way you’ll have the experience of living together before you buy a house with him.
It might be challenging moving into a place that has already been his for a while, but I see this as a great time during your engagement to become even closer as a couple. I’d be worried if you weren’t a bit nervous! And it probably won’t be the easiest thing you’ve ever done, but this way when you look for a house together you’ll have a better idea of how the two of you coexist and what will work for your lifestyle.
Post # 4
Umm, you’re a grown woman. You can do what you want to do, and if you are marrying this guy I would encourage you to live together before you get married.
Post # 5
@KatieScarlett: Thanks for the support! I’ve never been one to go with the idea that major life decisions are only right if you have no questions. It’s a major life change and while I look forward to it, it is still a big change! Thanks for the kind words!
@megz06: I know I don’t think I will ever be able to understand how as a grown woman my mom remains the one person who can still piss me off with one single phrase…. it kept my therapist busy for awhile!
Post # 6
Thought I’d leave a final update. My mom sent me an email saying she didn’t mean what she said and that she thought it was a good idea. Just another day when you have a parent with ‘issues’.