- 3 years ago
- Wedding: September 2013
I need some advice. I have known my best friend and her family since we were 11 years old, so needless to say we have been though A LOT together.
But I recently really let her down unintentionally and now the situation is worse and I don’t know what to do.
Okay so her grandfather (age 92) has been in declining health for seriously like a year. Over the last 2 or so months, he got worse and worse and everyone was expecting him to pass away relatively soon.
Well, the morning he passed was the morning that my husband and I were on our way to a friend’s cabin for Labor day weekend. My friend (I will call her K) called when we were already 45 minutes from home. I told her how sorry I was and said I wished there was something I could do, but she seemed very understanding and even….okay. She was expecting her pap to pass.
I texted her a few minutes later and told her to let me know when the funeral/viewing was so I could see if I could make it. She never texted me back, and we were in the middle of the woods for 3 days with barely any cell/internet reception, so when she posted the funeral info on facebook, I never saw it.
Well, turns out the funeral was the Tuesday after Labor day – which also happened to be the same day that our dog was having major bladder surgery. So of course my husband and I were up late, up early, worried about the dog, spending half the day at the vet, the pharmacy, on the phone, etc. We barely touched our phones or went on FB, so we literally knew nothing about the funeral.
Fast forward to Wednesday – still stressed out and spending all our time monitoring the dog’s recovery. I took a minute to call K to see how she was doing, etc. At this point I assumed the funeral was over and felt bad that it clashed with our weekend away and our dog’s surgery, but honestly there was nothing we could really do. She didn’t answer my call and never called me back even though I left her a voice mail asking her to.
Over the next 4-5 days, I called, texted, and sent her Facebook messages – no reply.
Finally I texted her other friend (and fellow BM in K’s upcoming November wedding) and found out that K was pretty mad that my husband and I didn’t make it to her pap’s funeral/viewing. THEN the mutual friend tells me that just yesterday, K’s dad had a heart attack and needed open heart surgery.
I am just so, so heartbroken. I feel 100% awful about everything. I don’t know what to say, what to do.
She and I started texting a little…. I think she’s softening up over the pap funeral thing but obviously she’s devastated about her dad. He has (or had) a hole in his heart and had 5+ hours of surgery. And just last week she lost her pap. And she’s getting married in 2 months…. I can apologize until I’m blue in the face but I can’t go back in time. I don’t know how to make this right.
Part of the reason I feel so bad is because K and her fiance were there for me and my husband when we needed them – when we moved, when we got married, when my mom almost died, when my FIL did die (on Christmas day) …. and I feel like we abandoned her. Again, obviously not intentionally but…. I don’t know…. I bawled for like an hour when I found out. And now I am sick to my stomach.