Weddingbee boards

So I'll give you gals a little bit of background....

My Fiance's parents were 17 when they had him- his grandparents basically raised him and his brother. His parents are irresponsible- drinking, smoking pot, his dad still goes over to his moms house to steal food, he has her pay his bills. He's 46. 

Anyways- I've been dating my fiance since 2004- I was 18 and he was 21. And of course we were younger so we did go out and drink and hang out- his parents at the time to me were cool because they drank with us and hung out. His mom has never liked me (she's two faced) she calls me a princess because I am a girly girl- i love pink, purses, cute things lol but I am a hippie at heart. I am very nice and down to earth.  But anywho both his parents aren't really involved in his life at all. They only call when they need something.  So we ended up getting pregnant last decemeber- when he told his mom and dad *they are divorced btw* the reaction was " OH GOD" REALLY" UGH... But we got over it.  So in July my sister and my mom, and his mom and his grandma started to plan me a baby shower. I didn't know the date of it at the time but I found out the guest list. I saw that his mom had invited her hick (sorry if it offends anyone) friends, and this girl who is my fiance's brothers best friend- I don't really know her and what I hear she's a biatch *thats another story* So I politely emailed his mom saying how if the invites didn't go out if she could not invite this girl..

OMG...

So this started WW3- His mom flipped the flip out. She Uninvited all her friends and this girl, who she told her I didn't like her- and she didn't go either- *she was suppose to pay for 25% of the shower- so she was like Fudge you all and didn't go or pay* Needless to say being 8 months preggers I was pretty fricken pissed and upset. So we didn't talk to her. Then in August I gave birth to my daughter. His mom called up and was like can I come see the baby etc..which it sucks because I didn't want her there but I said fine. I told my fiance that she is not coming around at all. She's been around 4 times if that since my daughter has been born- and you best believe I make it nearly impossible lol.Oh and she did her apology in a letter that said how we weren't going to be friends- yeah.  So the other day my fiances brothers girlfriend told me how Their mom was saying how my fiance was stupid for getting me pregnant and all this nasty stuff. Well I send that B an email saying how I don't want her at my wedding since she doesn't approve of my fiance and me, and it's pointless to have someone there that is negative and doesn't support us. Also I told her she wasn't allowed to see my daughter. 

She called up my fiances brother at 6am and told him she was going to our house to bang on the door (she didn't, otherwise I would have called the cops on her crazy arse) But most of the day was quiet- It was the calm before the storm lol- So she sends me a txt at 4pm saying how she wants to know whos talking crap etc.. so I told her and she denied it of course- but the brothers girlfriend was like dont say my name, you didn't hear it from me..I don't care someone was being two faced whatever. The point of me emailing her was to tell her I am done with her drama and she's not going to be around us or our daughter with that crap. I also told her she didn't know me so she assumed i was someone I wasn't. Long story short- I decided today I was going to give her ANOTHER chance- We re-introduced ourselves- so...we will see how it goes from here. I really don't care to get to know her- I've seen enough over the last 6 years....but for my fiance I will try... ughh

Anyone else have crazy in laws to be lol? 

He will always take my side if I am right. It's a sucky situation because it is his mom, even though she isn't really a "mom". He's at the point where it is what it is and it's my choice. He was like I am staying out of the drama lol 

Here's the email I sent her:

Sheryl-

I feel the need to write this email for a few reasons. Over the past couple weeks I've been hearing "through the grapevine" as you like to put it about "How stupid Mike is and how he shouldn't have gotten me pregnant " and how you can't see what Mike sees in me and I am a princess,bitch or whatever you call me.  Seriously you need to get over it. Mike and I are together, and we have *my daughter*. Also you have talked about how Mike said "I wasn't the girl for him etc.." at one point we weren't sure it was going to work out. BUT...like all relationships, they are something you work at. We've been together for almost 6 years, and we've gone through our ups and downs but we love each other and at the end of the day that is what matters the most. I do not appreciate you going around talking negatively about either of us. Also you had mentioned how you wanted to move past the baby shower incident and clearly your actions do not convey that. I had given you the benefit of the doubt.It was really difficult for me to move past the baby shower incident because it effected a lot of people. People were very angry with you, and still are. By you choosing to back out of it my mom ended up paying for 95% of the shower, and that pissed me off because she doesn't have a lot of money and not to mention that week her apartment had gotten broken into. Throughout my entire pregnancy My mom, my sister, grandma, and grandpa have been supportive and have been involved in everything. Between helping put together *my daughter's* room and getting our apartment baby ready I couldn't be more thankful for those people. I think it is unfair that just because *My Daughter* is here you want to be a part of our lives now and you to expect to see *My Daughter* when you haven't even been supportive and excited for her the entire time. I remember when Mike called you to tell you we were pregnant, and your reaction was disappointing for Mike. I can tell you how angry and upset he was. And even though you reaction was shitty I STILL made an effort to fill you in on *My Daughter's* progress by sending emails and ultrasound pictures.  I am going to be completely honest with you right now and tell you I don't want you to come to our wedding. You have no business being there- you don't support us or our relationship so I do not see the point in having someone at the wedding who doesn't give a care. And as far as *My Daughter* is concerned at this point in time, I do not think it is a good idea for you to be around her seeing as you can't even be a nice, responsible person around adults. I've talked about this with Mike and although I understand you are his mom wither you are active in his life or not, it's not benefical to have someone in our lives who doesn't agree with it.  You are 46 years old,  you have two children and a grandchild now and this is how you conduct yourself. Things need to change before I even consider letting you into our lives or our family. I am very protective of my family, and I have no problem shutting people out. I've learned a lot in my 24 years of life, and I know having negative people around does no good for everyone. I am being considerate by emailing you instead of having Mike avoid you when you call or tell you we are busy all the time. He doesn't like to lie to people but he doesn't like to hurt anyones feelings either. It sucks it has to be this way right now, but I can't think of a solution to this problem. I've always made an effort to get to know you and include you but I feel like you have never even given me the time of day. I know we are not a like in any way but I at least would have liked it if we could have gotten along

One more thing that I needed to get off my chest- A couple of christmases ago we had come over and I left my Pink Nintendo DS at your house- well Mike had called to ask about it and you said I didn't leave it there. Which I know I had left it but anyways. When we ended up going to Andrea's condo I noticed she had a Pink DS like mine had the same scratch in the back. You weren't hurting me by giving my DS to Lane- Mike bought it for me. Really that's stealing from Mike. Just wanted to point that out.

( lol yeah I had to add that last part in the email because that has been pissing me off) 

I just used *my daughter* to block her name out lol 

Thanks :0) He's pretty done with the whole situation with his mom....She's such a psycho. I am going to let my daughter maker her own decisions about people but being a mom I feel the need to protect her from hurt too. I really don't want her to come to the wedding though. It's such an awkward situation though since everyone hates her lol, Mike's grandparents don't like her they think she's a deadbeat, my family isn't fond of her since the baby shower incident. Oh the kicker too- When we baptized my daughter in November- Mike wanted her to be there so we invited her- she knew it was going to be awkward. Well SHE DIDN'T EVEN SHOW UP TO THE BAPTISM! She didn't call or anything! We waited 30 mins for her and then mike had to call her to ask her where she was. She was like "I'm running late but I'll be at the after party" Like what's the point of coming to the after party? The main event was the baptism! Ughh...made me so mad. 

I always wanted to marry into a normal family...guess that one went out the window lol 

Yeah usually having a baby you learn to grow up- Guess it didn't work on her lol. She goes drinking with his younger brother all the time, she told my fiance that She didn't know how to be a mom, pretty sad. 

wow. your fmil sounds like trash!

ugg this makes me so mad! i am so sorry you have to go through this!

i wish you and your family the best and i pray that one day this whole drama blows over

Yeah she is not the best person to deal with either. She never got my daughter anything for the baby shower, and after she was born she got her a clearance outfit from once upon a child. Which I guess she thought of her but I won't use the outfit. I can see how she can thinks I am snobby about things since I do insist on getting the best of things- like we goto pottery barn for furniture, and shop at good clothing stores but that's because in my opinion after dealing with shitty furniture and "going the cheaper route" of things, it always blew up in our faces. I can't tell you how many couches we've had in the last 5 years lol- it's sad. We finally broke down and spent the money at pottery barn for a nice lasting couch. We are totally two different people though- she's a tom boy who's stuck in the 80's- looks and attitude. And I am laid back girly girl. We don't mesh well. 

Also this is pretty good.. Her Ex husband the one who mooches off his mom(fiances grandma that raised him) came over today- yeah after like 3months of not seeing his granddaughter- that's a whole other can of worms lol.. was like "You know who Sheryl went to Jamaica with. (Yes she went to Jamaica, and didn't get my daughter a christmas gift lol)  I was like Oh I thought she went alone. Apparently she went with an ex boyfriend and not her current boyfriend. Man O Man this women must love to have drama in her life because..I can't see that situation ending well when her current boyfriend finds out if he does...lol 

I tell my fiance all the time his family is whacked...I'm so glad I have a normal family for the most part. 

I know someone else on this board has to have crazy in-laws to be...

wow, kudos to you for writing that letter and sticking to your guns! I can only hope she 'grows up' and can start by being a good MIL and Grandma.. (hope thats not asking for too much).