- 3 years ago
- Wedding: January 2015
Ok my issue is that I only want one of my 3 sisters as a bridesmaid (#4 below) because she’s just like me 🙂 My mother is trying to get me to put one of my other sisters (#3 below) in the wedding so her feelings aren’t hurt.
Sister number 1 is older than me and was already married and I wasn’t in her wedding, the other two were flower girls. This is because it was quite a few years ago and I wasn’t living with the family at the time.
Side note: I’m adopted so these are technically my cousins, though I call them sisters. Basically my bio mom died when I was < 1 and my bio dad was just a sperm donor. So I was adopted by my aunt and uncle (father’s side) who are my mom and dad.
Sister #3 could be jealous being I was adopted and am getting attention, though she does this to sister #4 all the time too.
The reason I don’t want this sister in the wedding is that she is notoriously self centered. She was “diagnosed” with defiant disorder, but really to me it just seems like she wasn’t disciplined… EVER… and my mom gives her permission to just be a jerk when she feels like it.
Let me give you examples, at my oldest sister’s wedding she cried the whole time about this that and the other thing, then when everyone was getting ready at the hotel she called room service and had a huge ice cream sunday brought up without asking anyone (ok she was much younger then). At my high school graduation she threw a temper tantrum (let see she was 14) screaming at my mother that she “better get a car to when she graduates”…. she did.. she wrecked it, so they bought her another… and she wrecked that too… and then she cosigned on a vehicle with my parents… that she couldn’t pay for so now I have it and am paying the loan in her name. Oh and while I have her car she borrows my mothers all the time, and wrecked it, insurance bought another. (this was over several years btw)
In general she is always just a huge drama queen, everything has to be about her and she likes to send mom to do thing whenever she (mom) is spending time with me. I live 1.5 hours away and only see my parents a every couple of months so its really upsetting when mom is monopolized by her needs when Im only there for a couple of hours.
For example mom, dad and I went clothes shopping (first time since I was in high school) and #3 called and made mom leave the store and run over to her house for something or another. Dad was left with me at the store, I can’t express how uninterested he was in me trying on clothes…
Now maybe she’s grown up a little, however her past track record shows that she’s going to (1) be late (2) be in a shitty mood (3) try to move attention to her. If she is in the bridal party I have to deal with that. If she’s not, then she’s just an irritant with a backstage pass and I can have an extra glass of champagne to help ignore her.
As a consolation prize she can wear the same color as the bridesmaids in a different style (if she wants). And I plan on giving the bridesmaids a little $$ to offset the cost of the dresses, she can have that to. She will be in pictures, if she shows up on time. I just don’t want to give her responsibility. I would rather just have her participate if she’s there and in a good mood, if she’s not then she’s not involved.
I don’t get a lot of attention from my parents (I’m not the squeaky wheel) and I would just like this one day.
- Older than me, was married before and I wasn’t in her wedding. No issues here just having her as a guest.
- Myself (adopted)
- Next youngest, Drama queen, gets irritated when attention isn’t on her (sometimes, it depends on her mood) Keeps my mother at her beck and call.
- Youngest, Mini me, Punky fun and awesome (her boyfriend is even similar in attitude to my fiancée)
Edit: We’re paying for our wedding. Mom and dad don’t have a lot of money so the may give us a little bit but its not expected. This isn’t a money thing.