I want 5 bridesmaid but FI wants one! How to pitch ?

posted 3 years ago in Bridesmaids
Post # 3
Member
9226 posts
Buzzing Beekeeper
  • Wedding: May 2018

He should be allowed as many or as few groomsmen as he wishes. He may not feel that he is close enough to those friends to have them as groomsmen. You were able to choose who you wanted for your side, without him telling you who he wanted you to have, so why don’t you offer him the same consideration? So what if sides are uneven? I hate things being uneven myself but I would be ok with uneven wedding sides, because the wedding party is about those closest to you, not pretty even pictures!

Post # 4
Member
3618 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

@Ladybug202:  Nothing is wrong with 5 bms and one gm! Those people standing there ARE NOT photo props….Rule of thumb for choosing the bridal party: Who will be there at your first anniversary? 

Post # 5
Member
7203 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: November 1999

@Ladybug202:  Do you need all 5? Is it possible to meet him half way and have 3 of each? You could give different roles to your extra girls (e.g. doing a reading)

Post # 6
Member
7281 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2011 - Bed & Breakfast

You have 5 bridesmaids and he has 1 groomsman. There is no need for either of you to make an adjustment. Just have uneven sides and call it good.

Post # 7
Member
2657 posts
Sugar bee

It’s not the end of the world to have a lopsided wedding party.  We will have 4 bridesmaids and likely only 1 groomsman (although FI hasn’t officially decided yet).  If he’s only comfortable with one groomsman, let him have that decision.  A seasoned photographer will know how to arrange the wedding party for photos, so I wouldn’t worry too much about that.  Our photographer even asks for the wedding party numbers ahead of time so she can plan formal portraits.

Post # 8
Member
4483 posts
Honey bee
  • Wedding: April 2015

We’ll be a tiny bit lopsided, as he will have 2 or 3 GM and I’ll have 3 BM plus a junior BM and 3 flower girls. More of the special people in our frined and family circles happen to be female, and our wedding party will reflect that. I’d love perfect pictures, but I love having each person standing up with me more

Post # 9
Member
804 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: May 2014

@Ladybug202:  I think it’s ridiculous to add to the bridal party just to even out pictures.  If you are really worried about that, have 2 of your bridesmaids dress in dark colors and stand on the groom’s side.

Post # 10
Member
2675 posts
Sugar bee
  • Wedding: May 2014 - Madison, WI

I would just let it go, you’ve already stated your reasons and your FI has stated his and if he won’t change his mind that’s something you’ll have to respect. I have 5 BMs and FI has maybe 4 GM…maybe. One moved to AZ this week and isn’t sure if he will be at or in the wedding. FI might ask another friend who he’s become very close with over the past year once the two old college friends realized they lived in the same city again but I don’t know?! I’ve just accpeted that I may not even know who is in our wedding party on his side until right before the wedding. It kind of sucks, but not much I can do about it. Either way, I will probably end up with an uneven number too.

Post # 11
Member
1355 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: October 2013 - Vine Street Church

Even sides don’t matter. My husband had five on his side and I had six, and there were only two men in the entire wedding party.

Post # 12
Member
348 posts
Helper bee
  • Wedding: October 2013

Just like other PP’s have said… dropped the superficial thinking that you need to have even sides “so the pictures look good.”

At the end of the day when you are looking at your wedding pictures, you don’t see symmetrical, uniformed robots looking pretty and taking up space — you see your friends.

 

FWIW, I’m with your FI 100%.  Being part of a bridal party sucks and its expensive. 

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