(Closed) I want a different view

posted 7 years ago in Relationships
Post # 3
Member
1363 posts
Bumble bee
  • Wedding: September 2010

For me, it’s more like “what if I never met my current husband”?

I do understand about “what ifs”. I call them exs instead and exs are exs for a reason, ya know? ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 4
Member
2216 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: August 2012

@amyddlz:I know how you feel.  But you’ve got to focus on the future and not the past.  Things work out a way for a reason.  

Post # 5
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

MY feeling is, if you have a “what if” in mind, that means you aren’t fully 100% committed to the person you are with now. I would never think to have a “back up plan” in case my marriage never worked out

Post # 7
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

@amyddlz: I don’t have a ‘what if’. I had several boyfriends before SO but I am happy knowing that those relationships ended for good reasons. My SO feels the same way about his previous relationships well. Everything has worked out for the best and I couldn’t be happier ๐Ÿ™‚

Post # 8
Member
518 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: August 2011

You got your answer to the what if question…he came back and disappeared again. He’s not worth it. I understand you can have questions in your mind like “what if he were a better guy?” “what if he changed?” but it doesn’t sound like that would happen.

Post # 8
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

@amyddlz: oh ok, then I completely read that wrong, sorry! Yes, I actually have had that thought a lot. There are 3 guys that I like to think “what if” we were together instead of me and hubs, but I honestly can’t think that my life would be any better.  It is interesting, because hubs and I have discussed how different things would be if we wouldn’t have ran into each other again, because I don’t think we woudl have ended up together. Its kind of crazy to think how one thing done differently could have altered your entire life!!

Post # 9
Member
7431 posts
Busy Beekeeper
  • Wedding: October 2009

I actually like to wonder what if I didn’t go to college, or if I would have found my current job before my previous job.  What if my ex wasn’t a lying cheating pos and we stayed together. I could seriously play what if all day long!!

Anyone remember the choose your own adventure books??? I used to love reading those, and redoing my adventure to see how differently things would turn out…

Post # 10
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

I think what if, but I know it would be terrible.  I love my hubby and I know I had to go through all the crappy exes so that I could get to him.  So glad that part of my life is over!

Post # 11
Member
963 posts
Busy bee
  • Wedding: April 2011

@MrsSl82be: Yes, I remember them cause I’d always pick the path that made me die. LOL. Then I’d go back and choose the other one.  Those were fun though!

Post # 12
Member
2390 posts
Buzzing bee
  • Wedding: December 2009

I’ve had the “what ifs” thoughts about past relationships.  But as soon as I have that thought, it’s usually followed by a shudder and a “thank goodness it didn’t work out.” lol  I think it’s perfectly natural to wonder what would have happened.  I think the danger lies in if you become sad that the “what if” never happened and you wished it did.

Post # 13
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

I understand where you are coming from. The last guy I dated before FI, we lived about an hour from each other and had a pretty perfect relationship. The only reason we broke up was because he moved 12 hours away and we couldn’t handle the distance and opposite schedules. I think he’s a great guy and we are still friendly, but I don’t dwell on the what-if because it worked out for the best. I met my FI because I moved back to my hometown after the split. Would I have been happy and married to the ex now? Possibly, but who knows. I do know that I am happy and marrying FI and that is all I need.

Post # 14
Member
365 posts
Helper bee

Double post.

Post # 15
Member
485 posts
Helper bee

I just asked my SO about this, and he replied: ‘I don’t mean to sound sexist, but I think it’s much more common for women to feel attachments to ex-boyfriends than the other way around. I think most people who feel this way aren’t 100% happy in their current relationship’.

This probably isn’t a very popular opinion here, but I actually agree with him. Each to their own though ๐Ÿ™‚

The topic ‘I want a different view’ is closed to new replies.

Find Amazing Vendors