- 5 years ago
- Wedding: May 2012
ok here it goes… I feel like I am really crazy and feel ashamed to be putting this out here… I recetly got married about three monts ago. There was never really a “newlywed” phase where everything was perfect after the wedding. We always fought, even on our honeymoon we did. We hardly had sex on our honeymoon, maybe once. He couldnt wait to get back home. Anyways, things have been going downhill ever since.
We fight about medical insurance, my job offers it but it is crazy expensive about 400.00 a month just for once person. He has an awesome job and he has insurance only costing him about 70.00 per month. He will not put me on his insurance unless I pay for it, which would be around 70.00 per month as well. I recectly just went back to work as I teach school and didnt have the money to pay for it over the summer, needless to say, open enrollment is now over and it is too late for me to get insurance through him this year. Is this normal, should I have to pay him for insurance? I have veins in my legs that need taken care of and he dosent undetstand and always puts me down that it is just “cosmetic” and it doesnt cause me any pain. I am only 26 years old and I dont think I should have bad viens in my leg already.
We also fight alot about money. We have seperate bank accounts and split the bills 50/50 which is ok, but he makes extremely more money than me and has less student loans, car payments, ect.
We hardly do anything with others and when other couples ask us to do something it is a constant fight to get him to go and at times he refuses to go. I like to be around people and do things once in a while. Weekends suck and often times, I wish I was working rather than being around him. We never go for a weekend “getaway” I have had so many ideas to get away for the weekend and he refuses to do so.
Also, we argue alot about his family because they are very needy as I call them because they are constantly borrowing his car or money. I tried to talk to him about this and telling him that it is not right they only call when they need something. He doesnt see it that way and he always gives in and gives them what they want.
I’m so sad all of the time, I truly believe that this is not my “happily ever after” I don’t think this is what a marriage should exist of. I feel crazy half the time and I always think things will change but they dont.
He also says things that he knows will get to me. He often says he doesnt want kids, knowing that I work with kids and I love kids, hoping someday to have children. 🙁
I dont know what to do anymore.
Sex doesn’t exist…he always claims that he is too tired to have sex and we often only have sex maybe once every two weeks or once a month. IS this normal for newlyweds.? We were togeter 7 years before getting married and I feel awful saying this, but I think there is more out there for me witout him. at times i truly feel he makes me depressed and unhappy.
I really am condering divorce. I hate to say this but it is an on going thing and things dont ever seem to get better, just worse 🙁 I am crazy?! My wedding was about $30,000 and everything was beautiful! how do I justify this to others? My family, friends and all my guests that were at my wedding, how do I explain divorce after three months of marrige. I guess I am ashamed and embrassed. Please help me!? I dont have anyone to talk to as I dont want to tell my friends, mom and sister our problems… what do i do?!?! all advice is welcome …please